Maybe They Just Don’t Like Gruyere…

I’m trying hard to listen to the undecided voice
To the people who are still unsure which way they’ll make their choice
But it’s hard, when I’ve decided, to believe that others can’t,
If their mental capabilities outrun a potted plant*
“Would you like grilled cheese, or dog shit?” See, with choices such as these,
Can you really trust the voter who will ask “What sort of cheese?”

*I heard someone paraphrase Molly Ivins, and claim that anyone who can’t choose between Obama and Romney ought to consider watering themselves twice a day. Made me miss her, so I had to include this line.

NPR’s All Things Considered had a piece this evening on the Undecided Voter. Once we have decided, it is very difficult to see why others have not. But of course, once we have decided, everything changes. We give different weights to messages about our candidate and the evil bastard running against him or her. We actively look for confirming evidence, and actively avoid disconfirming. Mind you, there might be good reason for that–any candidate who keeps changing positions this late in the game, should that person happen to say something you agree with, might best be ignored anyway. We’ve had years to watch their feet; their last-minute words should not be able to change our thinking about which direction they have been heading.

Binders Full Of Wrong

Let’s say you’re in charge of the hiring and firing—
You’re after a woman who’ll answer to you.
Assuming you’re needing a binder to find ‘er
You’re likely admitting you don’t have a clue
Despite your executive power, you cower,
Cos all of your partners, for years, have been men
You’re frightened to look past the he-males, at females—
Accustomed to capons, you don’t want a hen.

Your yes-men will tell you, debating’s creating
An alternate viewpoint; an alternate world.
Available polls seem to notice the POTUS
Is there at the top, with his banner unfurled.
The strategy thus far you’re trying (that’s “lying”)
May work in the short term, but not in the long;
The truth, though (the stuff you’re not saying)’s dismaying
Your lies do all right, but your truth is all wrong
[Read more…]

Debate: The Least-Informed Are In Charge Of The Questions

There was a voter, undecided,
Though I cannot fathom why;
Perhaps a faulty compass guided
Him, as days and weeks flew by.
Friends would prod, and neighbors chided
“Such an indecisive guy!”
With rapt attention undivided
All would roll their eyes and sigh.
The networks parked where he resided
(Never was he camera-shy)
The interviews that he provided
Kept the ratings climbing high.

Today, as news-mobiles collided
In his yard, I caught his eye:
“If I decide”, the man confided,
“All these cameras say good-bye!”

Yeah, old verse. I’m still grading.

Pennsylvania Pol Panders, Protecting Public Pledge

“I pledge allegiance…” no, I don’t.
A public prayer? Again, I won’t.
My first amendment rights allow my protest in this case!

The Pennsylvania House, this week
Observed a Rep refuse to speak
The chairman made an issue just to pander to his base.

A Democrat refused to pray
Though why she did, I cannot say
Perhaps she knows that Jesus was opposed to public prayer

The chairman (from the GOP)
Decided (so it seems to me)
That pledging one’s allegiance is the government’s affair

The chairman doesn’t find it odd
To swear allegiance “under God”
And hold this as a standard for the country to enforce

The chairman will defend the pledge
Because he finds it gives an edge
Political expedience will always be his course.

PA lawmaker refuses to say Pledge of Allegiance at House meeting

Democratic Rep. Babette Josephs said the words “under God” in the Pledge make it a prayer, and she refused to say it.

When Republican Chairman Darryl Metcalfe, who represents Butler, asked Josephs to lead the pledge, she refused.

As everyone was standing to say the pledge, Josephs said, “Based on my First Amendment rights and based on the fact that I really think it’s a prayer, I don’t pray in public.”

Josephs is retiring in just a few days, so there’s not much reason for this, other than Metcalfe grubbing for points with his base.

Debating The Debate (VP Edition)

This evening the veeps are debating, creating
A whirlwind of chaos—a media blitz
With donkeys and elephants doing the viewing
(and quite a few others who don’t give two shits)
We closely examine each faction’s reactions—
The reasons they’re likely to call it a “win”
The truth is, it only produces excuses
As partisans scramble, applying their spin.

The groups who would call it a horse-race, of course, face
The task of promoting their narrative views
For others, whose take is more subtle, rebuttal
Will never be seen on the six o’clock news
The debate may have vast, influential potential
Or maybe it’s little or nothing of note
I see, in a mix of conclusions, confusion…
It does, and it doesn’t, affect how you’ll vote.

“Completely Wrong”

Mitt
Was
Completely wrong
He should have known it all along
So come and sing a silly song
Wrong! La-la-la—Wrong! La-la-la-la-la! (oh!)

Mitt
Told
A bunch of lies
He did it lots; it’s no surprise
It’s time to open up your eyes
Lie! La-la-la—Lie! La-la-la-la!

Mitt
Is full of shit
Not just a bit
It doesn’t quit
Mitt
Just won’t commit
Each view is split
He’s not legit

Mitt
Is
A wealthy man
He’s running just because he can
“Say anything” is Romney’s plan
Run! La-la-la—Run! La-la-la-la!

Mitt
Is
Completely wrong
We should have known it all along
So come and sing a silly song
Wrong! La-la-la—Wrong! La-la-la-la-la! (oh!)

I was walking the Cuttledog, and this song came to me… sung in the voices of several Muppets. Don’t judge me.

Cuttlecap tip to Ian

Malala The Mighty

How strong are the words of a young teen-aged girl
To frighten the Taliban so?
What cowards decide, since she’s telling the truth,
That courageous Malala must go?
How mighty is she, that they thought they would need
An army arrayed against one?
The pen, we all know, is much mightier than the sword…
So they figured, instead, use a gun.

Taliban attack wounds teen activist blogger

I have an appointment in mere seconds, so read Ophelia for more. And more.

In Support Of Marriage Equality In Maine

So I got another donation very recently (thank you!), from a name which seemed familiar. I have learned never to trust my memory, but I think this was someone with whom I used to argue, years ago. He or she (I know, but hey) was opposed to same-sex marriage (though the host of that site was far more irrationally opposed–but then everything about that person was irrational), but was honest and open in xir arguing, and did listen to opposing views.

Anyway, I think this recent donation was from this person. That being the case, I am hopeful that it signals a change of mind. So, having de-godded the amount of the donation (plus my own contribution), this money is being donated in support of Maine’s ballot question 1, in support of same sex marriage. (edited to add–Rodney Nelson, in a comment below, proudly foils my attempts at de-godding ALL the coins, by noting Mainers United For Marriage‘s website, where you can donate directly. Curses! Foiled again!) Of course, disclosure of support is in the news today, with the opponents of question 1 refusing to disclose their donors, in direct opposition to Maine’s election laws.

Maine’s campaign disclosure law requires groups that raise or spend more than $5,000 to influence elections to register and disclose donors. NOM has argued that releasing the donor list would stymie free speech and subject donors to harassment, but the lower court refused to throw out the law.

The U.S. Supreme Court on Monday declined to hear NOM’s appeal, leaving the state law intact. But the ethics commission is still investigating, and NOM is fighting subpoenas in state court.

This gives me the opportunity to repost something from 4 years ago, when a previous set of politicians was traipsing around New England trying to stir up voter outrage. Two years ago, the Republicans promised they would repeal, but having watched the weathervanes, have chosen not to.

I had insufficient warning
When I stumbled out this morning
Past a half a dozen candidates, each stumping for my vote;
When I looked, the morning paper
Had a headline of some caper
Or the record-breaking snowfall—really, nothing there of note.

So I grabbed my trusty shovel
To plow out my “home sweet hovel”
When I noticed something different—something didn’t quite feel right.
There was snow, and politicians,
But some change in the conditions
Made me wonder if my marriage had the sanctity it might.

So I checked the sanctitometer
And struggled not to vomit—her
“Conventional morality in danger” light was on!
Now a grim new dawn was breaking
And I couldn’t stop my shaking
‘Cos the morally upstanding world I trusted now was gone!

I considered seeking shelter
As I watched the helter-skelter
Of the politicians canvassing the noble Granite State;
I heard one of them disparage
Civil Unions, or Gay Marriage
As the reason for the panic—then I thought, more clearly, “wait!”

All this rattling of sabers
Is about my friends and neighbors;
These are people whom I know, and who have lived here all along
If these folks are who they’re blaming
It’s just pre-election gaming
And between the politicians and my friends, I know who’s wrong.

If our morals are declining
As the candidates keep whining
I propose a different theory to explain why this is so:
An invasive mass of liars
With their speeches, signs, and flyers,
Slinging mud and kissing babies in a dog-and-pony show.

Soon the voting will be over
And the state, from Keene to Dover,
And from Lancaster to Nashua, will heave a weary sigh;
With the moral issue buried
Now my neighbors can get married
And the Granite State will mean it when it says “Live Free or Die!”

Now it’s Maine’s turn.

Debate One

The question of who is the greater debater
Is not as important as sometimes it seems
We follow, to see who seems fitter, on Twitter;
Opinions are written, in digital reams
The candidates spar, and their minions’ opinions
Will saturate all the political shows
We’ll credit the better at spinning with winning—
It’s Rorschach on steroids, as everyone knows

Pretending it’s really a battle, they prattle,
Releasing the zingers they’ve practiced so long;
Attack—not the point, but the bearer—Jim Lehrer,
Make Lehrer look weak, cos it makes you look strong.
For those who believe that this drivel’s uncivil
For those who are watching as part of the crowd
For those who think all sides are trying? They’re lying.
The truth? This fiasco is what you allowed.

Could a moderator do a better job? Yes. Could one do worse? Probably. Would a moderator that actually holds candidates feet to the fire be tolerated? Right now? I don’t know, I’m a goddamn cephalopod, not an expert on this stuff. But damn. As always, a “debate” is actually anything but, and so many questions that could have been asked were not. This will always be the case. Well. This will be the case as long as we allow it.

Inertia is a bear and a half.

Could it change? Will it?

*sigh*

The Current State Of The Political Race

With Democrats mostly extolling the polling
Republicans argue it’s biased or skewed;
They’re both showing near-universal commercials—
In swing states, the voters count thousands they’ve viewed!
This week marks the start of debating; we’re waiting
To see when the last “undecideds” might choose;
The very last moment, they “abracadabra!”
And magically say who will win; who will lose.

Though some leave predictions to mystics, statistics
Quite strongly, right now, lean the Democrats’ way;
That doesn’t stop Romney and Ryan from tryin’
(Their plans, true to form, they’re refusing to say)
The details we know are, at present, unpleasant—
And both sides have ads that they hope will appall…
With only mere weeks till the voting, I’m noting
Increasing desire to be rid of it all!

Image: Michael McRae