What is it with the GOP and pledges? The Pledge to America, the No-Tax Pledge, abstinence-only “virginity pledges“, “under god” in the pledge of allegiance… and now, an anti gay marriage pledge. Erm, I mean a pro-traditional marriage pledge.

The nice thing about pledges is, pledging is easier than thinking. Perry, Bachman, Romney, and Santorum no longer have to consider the merits of the idea. They have pledged. They are honor-bound. For Perry, this represents a change from his earlier states’ rights stance. States’ rights is a dog-whistle, but the baggers missed it and accused him of being soft on gay marriage. So…

When he said that it might
Be a state-by-state right
The teabags accused him of hedging
In a matter of days
He was ditching the gays
And to make it official, was pledging
The republican plan
Is one woman, one man,
In the view that’s supported by Perry
Keep the government small
Till eventually, all
It can do is say who you may marry
Cos in matters of love
When a push comes to shove
It’s the government’s job to determine
That there’s one group—the straights—
Who deserve to have mates,
While another, the gays, are mere vermin
There’s no need to decide,
For a groom or a bride,
Cos the pledge means the choice is preempted
The decision’s been made
And it must be obeyed…
On the off chance the governor’s tempted.