The Monster of Morris was loved and adored
He commanded the awesome Pharyngula horde
When he mentioned the contest, the mighty crowd roared
“We are stronger than even Chuck Norris!”
But the balance of power must soon be restored
We’ll defeat the Monster of Morris!

The call echoed over the length of the land
For the underdog team, it was cluster’s last stand
With a weekend to go, they were still down two grand
So they raised up their voices in chorus:
Won’t the generous atheists please lend a hand,
To defeat the Monster of Morris!

Now the underdog team has a simple request:
If in humankind’s future you’d like to invest,
There are many good reasons to give to Camp Quest
And no reason at all to ignore us
The underdog team could be best of the best
And defeat the Monster of Morris!

The humanist, atheist, free-thinking kind
Who look not to heaven but to their own mind
Are asking the folks who are likewise inclined
To support, you don’t have to adore us
But the power of many, when all are combined
Can defeat the Monster of Morris!

Forgive us, I ask, if we poke or we prod
But I’m really concerned for the underdog squad
And we won’t have the help of some meddling god
Like Jehovah or Hermes or Horus
We rely on our readers to overcome odds
And defeat the Monster of Morris!

We are at the final weekend. If you were waiting, wait no longer. This is a good cause, no matter who wins, but I like underdogs. Hell, I’m a Browns fan.

So, if you have friends who might be interested, forward this along. Relatives? Neighbors? Pets? The odds are against us, but there are very few odder than me. Hey, if you are in good with some creationists, tell them they can rub PZ’s nose in it. Their money still works.

Here–read Greta Christina’s last-ditch post if you need context. Or you could just trust me, and forward this to all the benevolent millionaires on your list.