Guess what I now own?

The first two issues of The Atheist comic:The covers are cool enough, but the story is kind of neat:

When your fears are beyond belief you need a hero beyond believing. Antoine Sharpe is a scalpel on two legs – skeptical, brilliant, ruthless. A special agent with a shadowy department of the U.S. government, Sharpe applies his unconventional intellect to any paranormal threats that arise. His mission: Debunk or destroy. When countless teenagers show signs of otherworldly possession, Sharpe and his partner must not only find the truth, but stop the apparent plague from destroying civilization itself. How far will Sharpe go to save humanity? Farther than you can imagine! This trade paperback collects the hard-to-find, critically acclaimed mini-series, featuring the complete first story-arc of comic superstar Phil Hester’s enigmatic, intellectual government agent.

Woooo skeptical super heroes!

Unfortunately it’s an old comic and there are only two additional issues. I kind of want to get my hands on them. At the very least they’d make some badass artwork for my new apartment.

Thanks, Ryan, for the great gift!

What one law about religion would you change?

You’re dictator for the day. You’re allowed to remove, alter, or create one law that is somehow related to religion (I’m allowing loose connections as long as you can justify it). What one law would you change, and why?

If you’re not from the US, please make sure to say so in the comments so all us silly US-centric people can understand your new rule better.

Me? I can think of a bunch, but off the top of my head I would remove the tax exempt status of religious institutions. Though making gay marriage totally legal is a close second. The latter would probably follow if Mormons didn’t have so much money to waste on hateful political campaigns.

So…who’s up for a Seattle meetup?

Ok, ok. I know I just got in the car a couple of hours ago. I’m probably not even out of Wisconsin yet. But from all my rambling about Seattle the last couple of months, it seems I have a lot of readers there. And, well, I’m going to be a stranger in a new city, so might as well meet some people, right?

So, Pub Night! Woooo!

If you’re interested, please say so in the comments. And let me know which dates out of the 17th, 18th, or 19th work for you. Seattlites (is that correct? WTF do Seattle people call themselves?) can suggest an awesome pub venue. Something in Wallingford would be awesome, since I’m not sure I’ll have mastered navigating the city yet. You don’t want to be responsible for me getting lost forever, do you?

Axe murdering readers, please don’t answer that last question. Or come to the pub night.

PS: Did you know Greta Christina is going to be in Seattle Sept 12? The venue is small, but I’m going to try to make it!

And I’m off to Seattle!

Dad: How are you going to survive three days without the internet?
Me: Har har.
What I was really thinking: Well I already set up my blog to autopost and we’ll probably be able to get free wifi at the hotels, or at the very least at McDonald’s.

I have a problem.

Anyway, let’s just hope we make it to Seattle in one piece. Hopefully we won’t see conditions like this. But if anything interesting happens while I’m not driving, I’ll tweet it. And when I’m driving, I’m sure Mark will be tweeting our spiraling descent into insanity.

What’s your best/funniest/most horrifying road trip story?

How does religiosity correlate with writing proficiency?

I love OkTrends. If I owned a dating site, I too would view it as hundreds of thousands of data points ready to be analyzed in amusing ways. In their newest article, they looked at the correlation between religiosity and writing proficiency, as measured by the Coleman-Liau Index.Hm, interesting indeed. Or as they quipped, “Is there a Comic Sans version of the Bible?”

But even more interesting is when you break it down by how serious users report their belief to be:

“Note that for each of the faith-based belief systems I’ve listed, the people who are the least serious about them write at the highest level. On the other hand, the people who are most serious about not having faith (i.e. the “very serious” agnostics and atheists) score higher than any religious groups.”

And those not serious Buddhists? Totally non-theists who just want something more fancy and enlightened to call themselves. Who doesn’t know one of those types of college Buddhists?

Now, let’s remember that correlation does not imply causation. Poor writing skills don’t necessarily make you religious (poor reading skills, maybe). Religiosity doesn’t necessarily make you a poor writer (unless you worship the LOLCat Bible). If I had to propose a hypothesis, it’s likely intelligence is one of the determining factors for both religiosity and writing ability.

Of course, this is the blog from a dating site, not a peer reviewed scientific study, so take it with a grain of salt. Still interesting, though.

How my Grandma packs for road trips

True story.
I’m going to assume this is a universal Grandma trait, not something limited to Greek Grandmas. As much as I do love her avgolemono soup, not so easy to eat in the car…

Anyway, thanks, Yia yia! Now back to packing!

Apparently even Humanists can be sex-negative

This excerpt was meant to advertise Jennifer Hancock’s new book, The Humanist Approach to Happiness: Practical Wisdom. What it actually accomplished was making me think it was all a load of bullshit that I most definitely am not going to waste my money on.

The Costs and Consequences of Sex

“Sex always has consequences. When Hitler’s mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.”

– George Carlin

Everything has a cost. Before you act, you really need to consider whether you can handle the consequences. And this is doubly true when it comes to sex.

Okay, sure, with you so far!

Anyone who tells you that sex is no big deal is either lying or isn’t doing it right.

And the alarm bells start flashing. This sounds like it’s about to set us up for some awesome “Sex is only safe and pleasurable when in a monogamous relationship!” bullshit typically used by Christians. Let’s see!

Sex is a big deal and it has emotional, physical, and sometimes financial consequences. Before you have sex with someone, make sure you are prepared for those consequences. This is where being responsible comes into play.

Your Heart

First and foremost is your heart. If you are having sex for the wrong reasons, you will regret it afterward, and that kind of ruins the experience.

Okay, sure. If you’re having casual sex but what you want and expect is a long term monogamous relationship, probably not going to end so well. And vice versa – if you want something casual but you’re trapped in a long term monogamous relationship, you’re probably not going to be very happy. That’s what you’re about to say, right?

Sex is best when it is a loving expression of your feelings for another person. When you are sharing a part of yourself in a very intimate way with someone you love, it can be magical.

JK. Sex is only supposed to be with someone you love. Except that many studies have shown that casual sex is not emotionally damaging and can actually lead to stable relationships.

If, however, you are having sex to keep your partner with you, then when (not if) they leave you, you will be miserable. The question you need to ask yourself is, if the worst that could happen happens and this person never calls you again, how will you feel about what you have done?

Your Health

Having sex with the wrong individual can kill you. Sexual transmitted diseases (STDs) are real, and if you have sex, you are at risk of contracting one. You can mitigate that risk by choosing your sexual partners very carefully, making sure that you are only having sex in mutually exclusive relationships, making sure each partner is tested for STDs before engaging in sex, and using protection anyway. If you think all this would kill the moment, consider how bad it would be if it actually killed you instead.

Sex can obviously lead to pregnancy, even if you use precautions. And if you aren’t prepared for that possibility, you might want to hold off on having sex until and unless you are ready to handle an unintended pregnancy. Also, if you don’t think your partner can handle that consequence, don’t have sex with him or her.

Wow, can you say sex-negative? This is reminiscent of a deep South’s high school’s sex education. OMG NEVER HAVE SEX BECAUSE YOU’LL DIIIEEEEE! Or worse, GET PREGNANT!!!!11!!one!!!

Look, people. Yes, STDs are a problem. Yes you should always use protection, get tested for STDs, and sleep with people you have at least some level of trust with. But the way to deal with them is not through fear mongering and omitting practical information (ironic given the title of the book). This is exactly what abstinence only education programs do, and they’ve actually been shown to increase the rates of STDs in teens. Knowledge is power.

Stuff like this contributes to society’s stigma about STDs. You know, most STDs really aren’t that bad. Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and Syphilis can be cured with antibiotics. 65-90% of people have Herpes 1 (“oral” Herpes, though it’s not limited to the mouth), and 15% of people have Herpes 2. Symptoms can be reduced to practically nothing with medication. And about 80% of sexually active Americans have HPV, though it usually clears without any symptoms showing.

Does anyone want an STD? No, just like no one wants bronchitis or any other disease. The stigma is blown so out of proportion compared to the actual harm, and fear mongering adds to that. But people shouldn’t feel like getting an STD is the end of the world. That can have more consequences than the actual disease (source: read any sex advice column).

Your Money

Finally, there are sometimes financial consequences. Sex with prostitutes isn’t the only sort of sex that costs money. Having a child, even if you give it away, costs money. Contracting an STD costs money. Affairs can be very expensive. People have lost their jobs because of sex. Do you want sex badly enough to lose your job, or get extorted by a spurned lover who is threatening you? If not, then it is best to keep your pants on and pass on that offer of free sex. Nothing is ever free.

…

The Humanist Approach to Sex

“In all sexual encounters, commitment to humane and humanistic values should be present.”

– The American Humanist Association, Sexual Bill of Rights and Responsibilities

Sex is a big deal. There are consequences to having sex and you should be prepared for those consequences before engaging in sex with anyone. The Humanist approach to sexuality is that it should be pleasurable, loving, and free of guilt.

Free of guilt? …Does anyone see the irony in that statement compared to the guilt-filled paragraphs that proceeded it?

But that doesn’t mean that anything goes. With the freedom to express your sexuality comes responsibility. From a Humanist perspective, sexual morality cannot be separated from general morality. Both must include compassion, ethics, and responsibility.

Whether any given sex act is morally acceptable from a Humanist perspective really depends on whether it helps the people involved become happy or causes suffering. Sexual pleasure must not come at the expense of someone else’s happiness.

To make sure sex is a source of both pleasure and happiness for you, take precautions to keep yourself and your partners safe. Don’t develop unrealistic expectations for yourself or your partners through the irresponsible use of pornog
raphy or other forms of sexually fantasy. Choose your partners wisely. And always approach sex as a responsible, educated, compassionate, and ethical person.

I do agree with her closing remarks, mainly because I do consider myself a Humanist. But that just makes the previous paragraphs even more disappointing. Precautions, responsibility, and avoiding harm shouldn’t be connected to guilt trips about monogamy and fear mongering about STDs. Not to mention she provides no actual evidence for what she’s saying. Seriously, sex-positivity FAIL.

I wish there was The Atheist’s Guide to Sex to counter this. Featuring Greta Christina, Dan Savage, Heidi Anderson, Jen McCreight…

Oh gay stereotypes

Thursday night: Gay Male Friend lets me sleep on his futon

Gay Male Friend: Okay, so here’s your futon, and I’ve put out two different blankets in case you get cold, and there are three pillows but let me know if you want more, and there’s a towel in the bathroom on the door you can use, and in the morning I’ll make breakfast!
Me: You don’t have to make me breakfast…
Gay Male Friend: I know I don’t have to, but I want to!

Morning rolls around…

Gay Male Friend: What do you want to drink? I have orange juice, apple juice, milk –
Me: Uh, apple juice would be great.
Gay Male Friend: Oh, and this is my awesome pancake recipe, I hope you like it.
Me: …You’re making pancakes from scratch?
Gay Male Friend: Of course!
Me: …None of my straight male friends are going to do this.

Friday night: Straight Male Friend 1 lets me sleep on couch

Straight Male Friend 1: So, uh, here’s the couch. Let me go get a blanket.
Me: Uh, do you possibly have a towel I could use in the morning?
Straight Male Friend 1: Oh, sure *gets one*
Me: *…tries not to think where the towel has been*
Straight Male Friend 1: I don’t have much to offer for breakfast. I live off a diet of rice and beans.
Me: *laughs*
Straight Male Friend 1: No, I’m serious.
Me: …

Saturday night: Straight Male Friend 2 lets me sleep on couch

Me: …Uh, so can I have a blanket?
Straight Male Friend 2: Oh, sure, yeah *gets one*. Okay, good night!
Me: …There’s no pillow… gah… *uses cushion from other couch as emergency pillow*

After this, explaining this trend to Gay Male Friend 2

Me: And Gay Male Friend 1 even made me pancakes!
Gay Male Friend 2: Wait, from a box or from scratch?
Me: From scratch!
Gay Male Friend 2: Oh, good, I make them from scratch too.
Me: Goddamnit, why are all the good ones gay?

Boobquake: The Game

I can now add “Having a game made out of it” to my boobquake meme’s growing list of accomplishments. I’m not sure where it fits in with appearing on the Colbert Report and having a Wikipedia article, but it’s up there.

Here’s the trailer:

I admit I felt about every emotion possible while watching that.

  • Awe that I did something that inspired a game
  • Amusement at the juvenile humor
  • Annoyance at the fact that it’s only juvenile humor. Couldn’t put her in a lab coat? Have earthquake facts thrown in? I know it’s hard to believe, but boobquake was about skepticism, not boobs.
  • Happiness that it’s at least well done – the art is wonderful
  • Disgruntledness that someone’s making a game off of my idea without ever asking for my permission, and potentially making money from it
  • Disappointment that you run over women in burkas
  • Guilty glee that you get to run over angry feminists
  • …More disappointment that I actually look more like the angry feminist, not society’s stereotypical view of beauty (skinny, boobs hanging out, and blonde)

Hm. Mixed feelings indeed.

Though I have a hard time staying disgruntled when I know the creators are two punk-rock looking Germans who are my age and have great art skills, great bright red hair, and great Mario wallpaper.

(Via PahuPahu)