The most logical abortion laws

We can add Alabama to the growing list of states heaping more and more restrictions on abortion – though their proposal is especially stringent. Three bills (introduced by a Republican, of course) are attempting to “redefine “person” as “any human being from the moment of fertilization or the functional equivalent thereof” — and require that all uses of the word “person” in the state constitution be accompanied by “all humans from the moment of fertilization.”

You know, maybe these people have a point. Maybe being ejected from a womb is an arbitrary cutoff point for where life begins. Maybe we do have to take it back to the zygote – the initial cell formed after fertilization. After all, that zygote has the potential to eventually become a human being!

Just like how every egg has the potential to become a zygote, which is why all girls now must constantly attempt to become pregnant after their first period, and any subsequent period will be tried as murder.

And how every sperm has the potential to become a zygote, which is why now all ejaculation except for procreational purposes will be tried as mass murder (though we can downgrade wet dreams to involuntary manslaughter).

And how every ovary and testis has the potential to produce gametes, which is why now any accidents that damage them will be tried as involuntary manslaughter, but voluntary sterilization will be tried as murder.

And how every stem cell has the potential to become a gonad, which is why now all stem cell research will stop immediately, even that done on lab derived adult stem cells.

And how every nutrient you eat has the potential to become a part stem cells, which is why now eating will be illegal. Look, we solved the national obesity epidemic too!

And how many inorganic molecules have the potential to become a nutrient, which is why now moving will be illegal, lest we disturb the fate of an atom to become incorporated into a particularly delicious carbohydrate (which you can’t eat, sorry).

And how stars have the potential to produce different elements, which is why… well, I’m not sure if we can do anything about supernovas, so we may have to let that slide for practical reasons.

I know pro-zygoters aren’t the best at science, so hopefully this helped them understand their logic a little better. I’m a horrible human being who cares more about adult women than cells and atoms, so I’m going to keep destroying all of these potential humans and looking at photos of supernovas with awe instead of horror.

But good luck to all the pro-zygoters out there in their lifestyle! I know I had a hard time eating less junk food, let alone giving up eating and all mobility. Be sure to let us know how that goes.

‘Tis a small world in biology

Today I was browsing through recent articles in Nature, looking for a potential genetics paper to present for my department’s Journal Club. ” “Somatic coding mutations in human induced pluripotent stem cells” catches my eye – I mean, come on, doesn’t that sound absolutely fascinating? I happen to glance at the name of the first author.

“Wait…Athurva Gore? …Who’s studying biomedical engineering? Hmmmm… Is that just a more common name than I think?”

After a couple seconds of Googling, I find a photo of him and some other scientists in their native habitat (awkwardly posed in front of expensive equipment) and confirm that yes, that is my ex-boyfriend’s friend that I spent a good part of undergrad hanging out with. Who I am now rediscovering while browsing genetics literature. Odd.

Congrats on the Nature paper, Athurva!

Well, if you even read this. I have no idea what the protocol is about reading friends’ ex-girlfriends’ blogs. Blogs before bros?

A CRISIS!

This is serious guys. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m so torn!

The release date for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 is July 15… RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF TAM9!!!

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

Friend: Oh boo hoo, you’ll have to wait a couple days to see Harry Potter because you’ll be in Vegas hobnobbing with famous skeptics. #firstworldproblems

I must gather some fellow skeptics to go to a midnight showing with me! Harry Potter in Vegas! Who’s with me?!

Off my ASS for …myself – Week 13

Starting weight: 186.4 lbs
Last week’s weight: 170.6 lbs
Current weight: 171.8
Weight loss this week: -1.2 lbs
Total weight loss: 14.6 lbs

Weight loss… Y U NO MAKE SENSE?!?!

I was so good this week! I worked out every day, I was at or under my calorie budget…but I gained weight. Blargh.

This is what we call a plateau, folks.

Oh well. I know if I keep it up, I’ll eventually break through it. Just annoying that this doesn’t follow some sort of rational pattern.

On an interesting side note, I’ve noticed I do much better if I set my calorie intake at the rate of 1.5 lbs lost per week rather than 2.0 lbs. 1300 cal is just too low, and so I’d fail almost every day – and when I was in the mindset of failing, I’d give up and overeat since I already went over my budget. But I can easily do 1600 and be full – and often times that positive attitude will make me go a little under. Woo psychology.

Best atheist conference ever

Greta Christina has the schedule up for the Very Big Atheist Conference of 2012, which will be held in Devil’s Corner, WI. I have to say, the lineup is amazing – you should check it out. I mean, Post-Diversity Panel Infuriated Smackdown and Horizontal Networking? So glad I’m a part of it.

Seriously though, go read it. I laughed my ass off.

…Is it bad that I’m disappointed this conference doesn’t exist?

My Skepitcon pin-up calendar photos

I was initially hesitant when JT Eberhard asked me to be a part of the Skepticon 4 pin-up calendar, but now I’m really happy that I did it. Not only is it a great fundraiser for an awesome conference, but I’m alongside amazing women like Rebecca Watson and Greta Christina. Plus, it’s sexy and artsy – like this photo from last year.I definitely had my reservations. I mean, I’m already known for my boobs, and I don’t want to get pigeonholed into some sexy stereotype when I have many intellectual accomplishments. But at the same time, it’s my body, and I don’t want others telling me what I can do with it. If I want to pose nude, then damn it, I should be able to!

These are just the proofs – for the high quality version, you’ll have to buy the calendar.
I’m not embedding them here since full nudity is NSFW, but you can check out my favorite shot here.

Be gentle!

More Indianapoplexy

Here’s the article from the ACLU:

On December 23, 2010, Shuai, a 34-year-old pregnant woman who was suffering from a major depressive disorder, attempted to take her own life. Friends found her in time and persuaded her to get help. Six days later, Shuai underwent cesarean surgery and delivered a premature newborn girl who, tragically, died four days later.

On March 14, 2011, Shuai was arrested, jailed, and charged with murder and attempted feticide. Had Shuai, who is being represented by National Advocates for Pregnant Women and local attorneys, not been pregnant when she attempted suicide, she would not have been charged with any crime at all.

Of course, no one would deny that what happened in this case is terrible and tragic, and probably no one feels that more than Shuai herself. But this case is about so much more than whether attempted suicide should be a crime — in Indiana it is not — and the death of her daughter; its implications go much further.

The state is misconstruing the criminal laws in this case in such a way that any pregnant woman could be prosecuted for doing (or attempting) anything that may put her health at risk, regardless of the outcome of her pregnancy.

That’s right: according to the ways the laws are being applied here, the state of Indiana believes that any pregnant woman who smokes or lives with a smoker, who works long hours on her feet, who is overweight, who doesn’t exercise, or who fails to get regular prenatal care, is a felon. And the list of ways these laws could be construed to unconstitutionally prosecute pregnant women goes on and on.

Allowing the government to exercise such unlimited control over women’s bodies, decisions, and every aspect of their lives, and to send them to jail when they disapprove of a woman’s behavior, would essentially reduce pregnant women to second-class citizens by denying them the basic constitutional rights enjoyed by the rest of us.

Moreover, what does it say about our society — about our obsession with incarceration and using the criminal justice system to treat public health issues, and with controlling women’s lives and treating women as if they were somehow separate from their own pregnancies — that we would give a life sentence to a woman who tried to kill herself, just because she did so, in a moment of utter despair and distress, at the end of a wanted pregnancy? Is this (or any) punishment really appropriate here? Does anyone really think this will somehow deter desperate and distraught pregnant women from attempting suicide in the future?

If, as a society, we truly cared about healthy moms and babies, our focus would be on how we can support pregnant women, not how we can manipulate our criminal laws, and undermine basic constitutional principles, to find new ways to punish them.

Sigh. I’m too dragged down by this stuff to have anything to add.

I need a term for Indiana-induced rage

Because shit like this keeps happening:

On Wednesday, House Representatives of the Indiana state considered a controversial anti-abortion bill, introduced by state Rep. Eric Turner (R), that would make abortions illegal in the state after 20 weeks. Representatives were also considering a bill amendment, proposed by Rep. Gail Riecken (D), that would make exceptions for “women who became pregnant due to rape or incest, or women for whom pregnancy threatens their life or could cause serious and irreversible physical harm.”

You know, pretty common sense exceptions.

There’s just one problem with the amendment, argued Turner, the original bill’s sponsor: Women would then have a “giant loophole” where they could simply lie about being a rape or incest victim and procure an abortion anyway.

The amendment was voted down 42 to 54 and the anti-abortion bill itself passed the House 72 to 23.

Fuck.

I really don’t know what else I can say about this sort of shit. I know I may not live there anymore, but I care about my friends and family – fuck, I care about strangers who are having their rights and fucking dignity ripped away by people like Eric Turner.

The only thing giving me hope for Indiana is that there are amazing people like Rep. Linda Lawson (D), a sex crimes investigator for six years, who managed to passionately defend the women of Indiana in a situation where I would have been speechless.

Fuck.

Not cool, Hemant

I love ya. You’re an awesome friend and a brilliant blogger. I know you’re an all around good guy and you thought you were just being funny.

But please don’t ruin a brilliant interview with Kari Byron of Mythbusters about her atheism by saying “This whole post was really just an excuse to post a picture of Kari.”

It’s not funny, it’s disappointing.

I know you were just joking and you’re a supporter of diversity. And before people accuse me of trying to make you a eunuch – you’re allowed to remark that she’s attractive. Hell, I think Kari is hot.

But to too many people, only appreciating a woman for her looks and not for her intelligence is not a joke – it’s a negative mindset that joking helps perpetuate.