Not sure why none of you suggested this one, but I thought it was the most hilarious pick. Keep in mind I’m embarrassing myself for charity. Enjoy the silly singing and complimentary boob jigglage.
Thanks Mark for the backup vocals.
(Sorry it’s not the full song…camera battery died right when it cut off =( )
This is post 25 of 49 of Blogathon. Pledge a donation to the Secular Student Alliance here.
A town manager in Florida was fired for his connections to porn – not making his own, but being married to someone who did.
Wait, what?
“Scott, who married Anabela in October, was fired at an emergency meeting Tuesday after the mayor and council members learned the nature of her employment. Scott, the town manager for 15 months, was unanimously voted out, terminated with six months pay.
The firing came after Anabela, who goes by the stage name Jazella Moore, was recognized by an editor of an online adult entertainment publication after a photo of the couple on the Fourth of July parade was published in the local paper.
Fort Myers Beach Mayor Larry Kiker said, “Our issue is the situation town was put in in terms of how effective we can govern and whether or not it this was going to serve as a distraction for that, and we felt like it would.””
It would be wrong for a town council to fire someone because they had been in porn, but it sadly wouldn’t surprise me. America has such Puritan values when it comes to sex, especially using sex to make money. But firing someone for being married to a porn star? Does any connection to porn automatically make someone unfit to perform his or her job? What if it had been Scott’s sister; would he still be to blame?
If this is really all there is to the story, I hope someone offers this man a job.
This is post 19 of 49 of Blogathon. Pledge a donation to the Secular Student Alliance here.
A town manager in Florida was fired for his connections to porn – not making his own, but being married to someone who did.
Wait, what?
“Scott, who married Anabela in October, was fired at an emergency meeting Tuesday after the mayor and council members learned the nature of her employment. Scott, the town manager for 15 months, was unanimously voted out, terminated with six months pay.
The firing came after Anabela, who goes by the stage name Jazella Moore, was recognized by an editor of an online adult entertainment publication after a photo of the couple on the Fourth of July parade was published in the local paper.
Fort Myers Beach Mayor Larry Kiker said, “Our issue is the situation town was put in in terms of how effective we can govern and whether or not it this was going to serve as a distraction for that, and we felt like it would.””
It would be wrong for a town council to fire someone because they had been in porn, but it sadly wouldn’t surprise me. America has such Puritan values when it comes to sex, especially using sex to make money. But firing someone for being married to a porn star? Does any connection to porn automatically make someone unfit to perform his or her job? What if it had been Scott’s sister; would he still be to blame?
If this is really all there is to the story, I hope someone offers this man a job.
This is post 19 of 49 of Blogathon. Pledge a donation to the Secular Student Alliance here.
For Veritas:
If you have absolutely no idea what this is about, you should probably go read this post and the comments.
This is post 9 of 49 of Blogathon. Pledge a donation to the Secular Student Alliance here.
For Veritas:If you have absolutely no idea what this is about, you should probably go read this post and the comments.
This is post 9 of 49 of Blogathon. Pledge a donation to the Secular Student Alliance here.
First, I want to thank everyone for all the questions and topics they’ve suggested for the blogathon. They’re all great – a lot are too good for me to answer in a half hour, so I may have to save them for later.
Though I did get one question a while back in response to my Evolution of Penises piece that was…well, didn’t quite make the cut:
“Anyway, I found the part about fake sperm of interest… I know it was conducted for the experiment, but I’m wondering what would be the medical ramifications if a woman placed the fake sperm in her vagina as a way to trick her mate into thinking that she had had sex with another man. I don’t know, perhaps she or her mate has a cuckold fantasy. I wonder if it would be safe provided the lady used a douche afterwards… your medical thoughts/opinions?”
First, … …….. ………………….. wtf?
Second, I’m not a doctor, not even a med student, so I’m not so sure I should be the one you’re going to for medical advice.
Third, that being said, I don’t think putting a flour concoction up your vagina is a great idea. Sounds like a yeast infection waiting to happen, or at the very least, a horrible mess.
Finally, douching is bad for you. I know that much. So I guess if you have a cuckolding-fake-sperm-fantasy, you may want to find another way to acting that one out.
I actually got that email right after “poop” had followed me on twitter. Just a day full of laughs!
This is post 8 of 49 of Blogathon. Pledge a donation to the Secular Student Alliance here.
I’ve noticed a trend that lately food commercials are becoming super sexual. Now, I don’t watch a ton of TV, so maybe this has always been going on… But some of these commercials have shot way past Funny and landed in Moderately Disturbing. I know they always say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but is the way to his stomach through his junk?
For example, Padma Lakshmi’s Hardee’s commercial:
Mmmm, yeah former vegetarian, put that big hunk of Western meat into your mouth. Oh yeah, lick it up. Because you know Western meat is better than that puny Indiana cock…er, I mean meat. Meat. Yeaaah.
Ok, Padma is smoking hot, but is it really attractive to see a gal dribble barbeque sauce all over herself and then lick it off? Actually, don’t answer that. Anyway, this commercial is nothing compared to ones with more overt sexuality:
Oh god, Arby’s hat boner, really? I’m open to a lot of kinks and fetishes, but I think I draw the line at Fast Food Worker Selling Food. But at least that one involved two human beings.
This White Castle commercial is yet more proof that there Is No God.
Really, what the hell? Every time this comes on I die a little inside as I stare at my television set, mortified. I think the worst part is I know there are probably furries out there somewhere masturbating over this thing. And again with the sexy barbeque sauce. Do you know how sticky that would be? Yuck.
I have to admit I think this is the funniest one in the bunch, only because it’s so wrong that it has to be good. Anything involving a gay sub-dom relationship with a toaster oven and a power bottom sandwich making boy gets an A+ in my book. But does it make me want to stick Quizno’s Toasty Torpedo in my mouth? Nooooo.
Why do I even bring this up? Because my friend just linked me to the most disturbing video of all. Honeslty, this is probably NSFW.
Thank you, Sprite, for forever making me associate the flavor of Sprite with that of jizz.
Now, if I was a good feminist, I would write up some diatribe about how all of these commercials are examples of the objectification of women and sexist and yadda yadda. But I have a bigger issue with the commercials – do these really make people buy the food? I get that they’re humorous, but do you really want to go grab a Sprite and a Toasty Torpedo right about now? I’d prefer not to think about a soda money shot while eating my dinner, but maybe that’s just me.
Yuck.
Time to play Kill, Sleep With, or Marry:
(If you’re not familiar with this game, you were obviously never a teenage girl. Select one person for each action)
Farrah Fawcett
Michael Jackson
Billy Mays
As awful as it would have to be to tolerate a lifetime of Billy Mays’s yelling, I still think having sex with him would be more horrible. So I’m going to say kill Michael, do Farrah, and marry Billy. Unless we’re talking Thriller-era Michael, in which case do Michael, marry Farrah, and kill Billy Mays.
Thoughts?
Am I a horrible person?
EDIT:
Me: Having sex with Billy Mays would be fucking horrible
Friend: “HI, I’M BILLY MAYS AND I’M EJACULATING IN YOUR VAGINA!”
Me: LOL
Me: omg I hate you. I’m in a computer lab and trying not to tear up and die laughing
Friend: “AFTERWARD, WE CAN CLEAN IT UP WITH KABOOM!”
Friend: “BEHOLD, THE POWER OF OXYCLEAN!”
Me: STOP IT
Me: omg a professor is laughing at me
At least he’s more horrible than I am.
Usually I would ignore these weird emails as nonsensical spam jibberish, but this one caught my eye for some reason:
from: Alana Madrid
to: [email protected]
cc: [Other Purdue Emails]
date: Sun, Jun 28, 2009 at 7:55 AM
subject: or art not thou the hum of multitudes was there but multitudes of lambs
the sun descending in the west, earth rais’d up her head,the hum of multitudes was there but multitudes of lambs his arm is withered to its root;
…
So after some googling, these random poetic sounding phrases are from William Blake’s Songs of Innocence and Experience, which are essentially religious poems. And payvand.com is an Iran news site.
Can anyone make sense out of this, or should I just ignore it as some crazy email?
Hey everyone! I managed to find a computer lab at the University of Idaho, so I’m slowly recovering from my internet withdrawal. And luckily for you, this computer lets me upload photos from my camera, so you get to see fun stuff! Woo!
My flights from Indianapolis to Chicago and Chicago to Seattle were kind of uneventful, which is a good thing. Once I got to Seattle I met up with this Guy from the Diversity program (who I had never met) to go exploring a bit. And yes, yes I did visit the Discovery Institute:
Man, was that place small. The only reason I found it was because I had the exact address. It was just this locked door with a crummy looking buzzer next to it, and a flight of stairs that led up to what looked to be just a couple of offices. Unfortunately, I didn’t go inside. Sorry guys. I was thinking about at least buzzing them, but Guy had never heard of the DI, so I didn’t want to drag him into it. Once I explained it to him he laughed, though. That’s the one plus of hanging out with evolutionary biologists: I can giggle about Intelligent Design and they don’t think I have horns sprouting out of my head.
Speaking of crazy people in Seattle, I love some of the wacky stuff you see in big cities. The very first thing we saw getting off the bus downtown was a homeless screaming nonsensically at everyone. The only part I could make out was her repeated use of “Motherfuckers!!” I swear she looked just like the scary religious lady from Wife Swap. I also saw a 9/11 conspiracy theorist, and this lovely sign of Obama with a Hitler mustache:
Still not quite sure what their point was. They were two young people, and they didn’t seem to enjoy me giggling and taking a picture. “You’re a sports fan aren’t you?” the guy asked me. “What?” “You just think this is entertaining.” “Yes, yes I do.” And then I walked away.
Visited Pike Place Fish Market and the Original Starbucks:
Space Needle, etc:
Up in the Space Needle (freaking expensive to go up, but the view was awesome):
After that we were pretty much pooped, so we headed back to the Aiport. Our final flight to Pullman still didn’t leave for about three hours, so we wandered around a bit. We found a Croc Shop with nothing but those awful croc shoes. The rainbow wall of crocs amused me to no end, so I had to take a picture. We didn’t hang around long because it smelled like plastic and stinky feet.
We were also sitting right by a little bar/restaurant. Apparently the NBA final game was going on or something (hey, we’re a bunch of biology nerds, it took us a while to figure out) and there was this giant crowd of people watching the game. I love people watching, so it amused me to see thirty people staring unmovingly at a screen and then all cheering and groaning at the same time. One of the gate checkers literally came and screamed at a pilot for being ten minutes late for boarding because he was watching the stupid game, hahaha.
Our final flight was only about 40 minutes long, though oddly enough, it had the best complimentary refreshments. Not only did we actually get a snack and free pop, but they were offering free beer and wine. Like, decent beer and wine. It was 11:30 pm (felt like 2:30 am to me because of the time change), but being good college students, we all had some. Bad idea. I was already exhausted, but after that I was so tired that I was wavering between passing out and becoming completely delusional. We finally checked into our dorms around 1:30 am, which means I had been up for 22 hours straight… wooo. I’m also very reminded why I like living in an apartment:
I think most dorm rooms resemble prison cells, but this one is particularly bad. Maybe it would be nicer if it was full of my personal belongings. I’m mainly curious what the hell the little half window with a slidey door by my head is. It reminds me of some sort of trap door prisoners would use to smuggle in cigarettes and spoons or whatever.
Scary dorm room aside, the rest of campus is beautiful. The town is tiny – I think I saw the whole thing in about a ten minute walk – but it’s still really pretty. Definitely very green compared to the brick covered Purdue.
I’ll try to keep you updated if anything else interesting comes up. I’ll be much more busy once the conference starts, but I’m sure crazy things will happen.