Sorry for being a little absent lately. I went on vacation to Florida from the 25th to the 1st, which means I needed a week of doing absolutely nothing to recuperate (ah, vacations). But now that I’m properly rested, I get to babble about my trip for a bit!
Vanessa (my friend/roommate), Ben (my friend/her boyfriend), and Jeff (my friend/ex boyfriend from high school…long story), and I left West Lafayette at 5am for our long drive to Florida. Ben was our first driver since he was the only person who got enough sleep to be functional. So not only were we all trapped in my car for 16 hours, but we were sleep deprived – extra delirium!
The drive was okay until we got to Kentucky – which, of course, was when I had just taken over driving. Cool fact: It’s generally not going to be fun when you see a giant plume of smoke on the road ahead of you. 
Apparently two semis had collided and effectively shut down I-65 going both directions. We ended up sitting still for an hour and a half since there was only one tiny part of the road where you could do a U-turn.
Jeff: Well now that we’re stuck in traffic, this is a great time for me to tell you about Jesus.
Me: Nooo! Tuck and roll!
Creepy ice cream truck.
Apparently everyone else in the car had gone insane as well. Vanessa suggested we get matching Darwin Fish tramp stamps. Then in Georgia we got stuck behind this car driving really slowly in the left lane (raaaaaaaaaaage) that had a “Jesus is Lord” bumper sticker. We drove behind them for a good period of time without them realizing they needed to get the fuck over.
Jeff: Only prayer will solve this.
Us: *fake pray*
SUV: *wedges between us and Jesus car and rides its ass*
Jesus Car: *changes lanes*
Jeff: Divine intervention!
Eventually we made it to Florida, died of exhaustion, and then woke up early to go to Disney World.
It wasn’t very sunny when we got there. Stupid Kentucky.
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I *hate* that, waiting and waiting with no idea when it will end. It’s much worse when you’re alone too, so you’re lucky you had friends with you.
Ah, Kentucky, where liquor is cheapcheapcheap (low taxes caused by popular vote) and is for sale 24 hours a day, 365 days a year (also caused by popular vote).Did you know that the entire Florida peninsula sits atop a relatively fragile coral rock structure? Just sayin’…
“Welcome to Florida, the sweat state!””Even worse than the states to our north!”Two of my suggested slogans for the state.
“Eventually we made it to Florida, died of exhaustion, and then woke up early to go to Disney World.”aaah, the resurrection, do you have a shroud (Turin, or otherwise.)?I do like an adventure, preferably mine, but yours is a great second best.
“matching Darwin Fish tramp stamps”that is one of the most badass, coolest things I’ve ever heard. I think I’d like you and your friends IRL.
It seems like every time I drive from Boston to Long Island (to visit family), I get stuck behind some dumbass driving a Church van with Jesus is Lord plastered all over it. And they are always going 10 MPH below the speed limit and having no idea where they are (crossing 3 lanes to catch an exit at the last minute). I know this is probably just confirmation bias (there are plenty of idiot drivers, and I probably don’t notice the other Jesus people who drive OK), but it drives me nuts every time!
While I do live in Georgia, I happen to live in Atlanta; if someone is going too slow in the left lane, there are about six to eight other lanes you can use to pass them.
i think there are more good tips!