Self care Saturday, July 1: Ahhhhhh, so that’s what I’m doing wrong » « The jokes practically write themselves

Advances in heterosexual rights

It is my very serious duty to announce a very important holiday that we should all be celebrating:

Today, on one of the last days of Pride Month, the eye-scratchingly awful hashtag #HeterosexualPrideDay has been trending top worldwide.

“Eye-scratchingly”? I’ll have you know this is a serious endeavour! Last year, I even mapped out the progress for worldwide heterosexual equality. This time I’d like to celebrate by making that progress explicit, comparing the two years side by side.

So, without further ado:

Countries in…

Dark Red: Execute people for engaging in heterosexuality.

Red: Criminalize heterosexual acts.

Orange: Subject heterosexuals to forced conversion counselling.

Blue: Prevent heterosexuals from marrying.

Green: Prevent heterosexuals from adopting.

White: Full heterosexual equality under the law.

 

Heterosexual rights in 2016.

 

Heterosexual rights in 2017.

Source: O’Leary, S. “Heterosexuals and human rights.” Journal of Entitled Wailing 3: 43 p. 14-19.

Clearly, there is still work to be done.

-Shiv

Self care Saturday, July 1: Ahhhhhh, so that’s what I’m doing wrong » « The jokes practically write themselves

Comments

  1. cartomancer says

    Those maps are highly deceptive. They don’t include all the made-up countries in straight people’s heads. Those are veritable hotbeds of vicious heterophobia. Typical LGBT erasure of imaginary people…

  2. says

    Thanks for this! I was rather disappointed that this “holiday” falls (is it going to regularly be on the 29th?) on my birthday…as if my birthday wasn’t lousy enough as it was.

    That said, depending on how we define (or, rather, qualify) “heterosexual acts” (or “engaging in heterosexuality”), there could be some red and dark red countries placed on the map for those wonderfully “enlightened” countries that don’t allow such acts between people who are not married. But, yeah, for married people, I would suspect the entire map to be white.

  3. Siobhan says

    @Leo Buzalsky

    there could be some red and dark red countries placed on the map for those wonderfully “enlightened” countries that don’t allow such acts between people who are not married.

    *sigh*

    Somebody tried to pull this one the last Heterosexual Pride Day post I made.

    The reason this comparison annoys me to no end is that I’ve said “equality under the law.” Yes, in Saudi Arabia they penalize women (and sometimes men, if they suddenly remember it takes two to tango) for having sex outside of marriage. You know what Saudi Arabian gay folks don’t have? Marriage as an option to legitimize their intercourse in the eyes of Saudi Arabian law.

    It wasn’t about comparing Saudi Arabian heterosexuals to Canadian heterosexuals. It was comparing Saudi Arabian heterosexuals to Saudi Arabian LBGQ+ folks.

    The point I made stands.

  4. robert79 says

    I’m all for heterosexual equality… They should have the same rights as homosexuals!

    So if homosexuals are not allowed to marry, neither are heterosexuals.

    If homosexuals are not allowed to adopt, neither are heterosexuals.

    etc…

  5. anat says

    Well, I suppose Israel should be some shade of pale blue for not allowing marriages of heterosexuals of different religions or heterosexuals who otherwise don’t meet religious criteria for marriage – these couples have the option of civil union/common law marriage (as do same sex couples), but also can have recognition of legal marriage performed abroad which same sex couples lack so still ahead of same sex couples.