Any of the FTB veterans have seen it: Someone poses as a newbie, feigns ignorance and sincerity, and asks leading questions to derail a conversation about discrimination. The tactic is so common it has its own snappy moniker–JAQing off, or “Just Asking Questions.” They’re quite aggravating, almost always bad faith commentators with enough brain cells to rub together that they know how to deliberately mislead and waste everyone’s time. They’re not asking a question because they don’t know the answer, they’re asking because they already have their answer and want to pull your chain.
Perhaps one of the more annoying side effects of JAQing off tactics is that people who are genuinely good faith participants ask questions out of ignorance, and are falsely flagged as trolls by wearied activists.
Most of the pages I follow for activist or activist-adjacent news follow an intersectional model, so one of my pages on Latinx feminist issues posted about the violence inherent in casting cis men actors as trans women characters. A commentator asked a question, opened by saying they were ignorant and didn’t understand, and that they weren’t sure how it constituted violence.
I simply explained the “deceptive trans” trope and how it was reinforced by casting cis men as trans women and she… apologized for receiving my answer.
No really. Her response was to the effect of “Oh, that makes sense. Sorry.”
Sorry? For what? You asked. You didn’t do what JAQ trolls do, which is use good faith assumptions to jerk people around. You asked and were given an answer and you said “That makes sense.” That’s the literal function of asking a question. So why was the apology necessary?
The answer is to distance herself from JAQ trolls. It was a bit disappointing. In this particular space, I am taking on the role of educator, and don’t mind people asking questions having acknowledged they don’t know the answer. It would be a different kettle of fish if you bumped into me at a cocktail party and started bombarding me with questions on gender variance–in which case I’d just give you a snippy retort to the effect of “go read my blag.” But here, as long as the question isn’t a rhetorical opening for you to soapbox your already settled-upon opinion, you are welcome to ask questions.
-Shiv
There seems to be a meme here in France that “Anglo-Saxons” — read: English-speakers (in general, but perhaps especially the British) — say “Sorry” when there is no reason to. I myself have been chided for doing so (and the lady had a point, I had not done anything wrong).
The BBC has an interesting article on this tendency, Why do the British say ‘sorry’ so much? (Feb-2016). In it is an observation which seems germane to the OP:
The individual who asked the question might have a tendency towards (or have experience with a culture which prefers) negative-politeness, whilst the answerer, for similar reasons, is positive-politeness. That can create a tension where it seems none was intended, the questioner was expressing appreciation for accommodating what that individual perceived as a possible intrusion of space / privacy / time / something… — and the answerer didn’t think there was an inappropriate intrusion at all, so was a bit baffled by the apparent apology.
Or at least, that’s how I read it. Sorry.
(A short but interesting discussion is Usage of “I’m sorry” and “thank you very much” outside of obvious settings, which touches on why the apparent apology is not-specific (not direct).)
@blf
Apologies for perceived/assumed intrusions is also a Canadian thing, but that particular trope doesn’t–shouldn’t?–apply online, which is where this particular apology occurred. So in an in-person interaction I usually apologize for popping someone’s bubble, for example, “sorry sir, you dropped your wallet.” But like, why would I apologize for leaving a comment somewhere online? o_O
As a fellow Canadian I would be apologizing for asking you to think for me. Your succinct response makes It blindly obvious once it’s stated.
I prefer asking questions by email rather than on a forum or blog for this reason. A question asked one to one likely won’t derail conversations and or be taken that way, plus making amends is easier when there isn’t mass fallout. Breaking up a question into parts or stages also helps, rather than a long or convoluted question (e.g. the asker gets the answer to the other parts of the question without asking them).
A recent example I saw elsewhere was on the Tiny House Blog. The podcast was an interview / conversation about non-white people in the tiny house movement, and shows how easily well-meaning people can make mistakes. (Re: comment #2 above, this is why I might apologize while commenting, in case I get it wrong and it’s not a well thought out comment.)
http://tinyhouseblog.com/tiny-house-podcast/diversity-tiny-house-movement-jamboree-special-edition-2/
(I think you mean “question” rather than “comment”, there are very good reasons for apologizing online about a (usually previous?) comment. Sorry.) Cultural or linguistic habit, I assume, provided that the questioner is someone who interacts regularly online. If they are a genuine newbie, than there are also the possibilities such as — but not limited to — uncertainty (e.g., no intent to rock the boat).
Having said that, written and verbal styles do differ (he asserts without checking), so I concur, a verbal tendency doesn’t translate into a written tendency, and versa-visa. But that doesn’t mean a tendency in one won’t or cannot carry over into the other, at least for a time or in some situations. Which will not always strike others as appropriate.
I myself have apologized online for a question (or something question-like), usually(?) with the question. A paraphrased example, “I could not find where to report problems in the webpage, so sorry if this is not the correct place, but …”. (In one case, after some back-and-forth clarification, that lead to some edits / improvements of the webpage.) Is what amounts to a pre-emptive apology in case of a mistake appropriate? Shugs, possibly depends on the readership, previous behaviour, and phase of the
moonorbiting cheese vault.Sorry, lunch is waiting… involves cheese… sorry.