I Flourish
Break me.
Knock me down.
Every heartache is a stepping stone
and my future is under construction.
Pick me like tulips in spring
and watch me wilt.
I come back every year
stronger, steadfast.
I’m grounded in my roots,
nourished by the storm,
and at dawn, I flourish again.
Remember my beauty
in the long winter months.
This surgery has been painful but I’m doing okay. I’m just lying on the couch filling up journals.
I’m so excited! A drawing I completed just last week was accepted into “Blooms”, an art show with the Rhode Island Watercolor Society for any 2D media. I have to quickly get it framed and shipped because the show opens later this month!
It’s so hard to put yourself out there as any kind of artist, and I just want you to know that I am so grateful for all of the support you guys have shown me.
Hi guys! My surgery was successful. My doctor was able to repair my knee. Unfortunately, I am experiencing some pain. I didn’t want to take my pain medication, but I broke down and took it. Before my surgery, I knew I really didn’t want to take something so strong and addictive, but I just didn’t know what the pain would be like. I just have to remind myself that this is temporary and I will be better off in the end.
The Other Side
Everything stops.
Distractions no longer work.
My body is stiff,
my breathing shallow.
I’m heavy —
wounded by the weight of the world.
The clock ticks slowly
as I wait for a release.
This recovery seems daunting
but my loved ones are near.
It’s temporary.
The other side is waiting.
Pain —
what stirs us to change.
Tomorrow I’ll arrive
walking,
but won’t leave on foot.
It’s time to rest,
heal.
Regenerate the old,
breathe in the new.
Tomorrow everything changes
but life’s demands.
NaPoWriMo day one was good! I wrote so much! In fact, I wrote extra just in case I don’t feel like writing tomorrow after my surgery. 🙂
I’ve been a little emotional the past couple of days. I guess I’m a little more nervous about my upcoming surgery than I thought I was. Drawing has been a nice distraction. I did these two drawings yesterday.
My surgery is Tuesday and I have no idea how I’m going to feel, so if I disappear for a little while that’s what’s going on.
I really struggled as a teenager. I knew from a young age that I wasn’t a Christian, even though everyone around me was. I was naturally skeptical and it was just too far-fetched for me. My family didn’t attend church like other families in our small rural community, but I think they still felt the pressure to conform.
I knew I was different, and that was incredibly difficult. I did a lot of “soul searching” as a teenager trying to find something – anything – that made sense. You can be skeptical and still have big questions about the world around you. I went through a Wicca phase as a teenager, and when I tried to discuss it with my parents, my stepmom flat-out laughed in my face. It really bothered me. Here I was with all this inner turmoil over spirituality and my parents wouldn’t even take my struggles seriously. I felt as though I wasn’t allowed to question anything, and that was extremely frustrating. I was a smart kid with lots of curiosity but I felt like everyone was just trying to shut me down. It was hard not to view my family as small-minded after that, but I think more than anything they were just concerned about their image.
You can’t blame them. It’s hard living in a small town, and to be honest, I was an angry teenager and thought everyone in that town was small-minded. But deep down, I think a lot of people questioned things back home but they wouldn’t dare admit to it out of fear of ridicule. Conformity was the name of the game and I wanted out. I didn’t fit in, but thankfully as I got older, I didn’t care.
Fast forward twenty-five years and now I’m an atheist…and a mom. My daughter is seven and full of curiosity. We really encourage her to explore. She asks questions (lots and lots of questions) and my husband and I give her straightforward answers trying not to push her one way or the other. We stress common sense and she will eventually come to her own conclusions, and we will be there to support her every step of the way. I don’t ever want my daughter to feel the frustration I felt growing up. “Soul searching” is allowed and completely normal…even encouraged. There are so many things from my childhood that I want my daughter to experience differently. Growing up, I just wanted someone to hear me. I never want my daughter to feel like she doesn’t have a voice.
I think all parents want their kids to have a healthier childhood than they had, and we all learn from our parents’ missteps.
I am curious…were you allowed to question things growing up? We are all familiar with religious indoctrination, but if you grew up in a secular home, were you pushed in that direction? Did your parents have discussions and answer your questions? Were you allowed to make your own conclusions? If you were raised in a religious home, how did you finally break free? If you are a parent, are there things you are doing differently than your own parents did?
Freethought Blogs’ own William Brinkman has received two Indieverse Awards nominations for his book, A Fire in the Shadows!
The goal of the Indieverse Awards is to introduce readers to fabulous work by independent authors! Nominees have been announced and there is now a seven-month reading period to give everyone a chance to read the nominee’s books and cast their vote. There are no corporate sponsors or big donors, and hopefully, the Indieverse Awards will become an annual event.
Get in on the action at www.indieverseawards.com!
Congratulations, William!
April is National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo), and it’s right around the corner! During NaPoWriMo, poets tackle the challenge of writing a poem a day. Last April, I wrote so much that I was able to finish my poetry collection, Unsettled, and I am currently looking for a publisher. So this April while I’m recovering from knee surgery, I’m going to be sitting around the house cranking out poems! I can’t wait! NaPoWriMo couldn’t come at a better time. I’m so happy I will have something to keep my mind occupied while I heal. I will be posting some of my work as I go along.
If you are into poetry, I highly encourage you to take on the NaPoWriMo challenge! It’s a lot of fun and a great opportunity for growth. Stay tuned for some new poetry, and if you are also a poet, please share your work! I would love to read it!
I have shared a lot of my health issues with you in the past couple of years, and I just wanted to tell you that I am finally having knee surgery in two weeks! I am nervous, not for the surgery, but for the recovery. I will be on crutches for six weeks and it will take a few months to fully heal. I just hope it goes quickly and I can get it over with. I’m happy it’s finally getting done.
I just wanted to say thank you for all of your support.