I miss our library.

I think one of the worst parts of this quarantine for me is that the libraries are closed. I normally don’t leave the house much anyway, but I do go to the library at least once a week. The libraries in Toledo have been closed for a few weeks now. 

I spend a lot of time writing at the library. I also attend several writer’s groups there. I used to meet my SCORE mentor at the library as well as attend meetings for an activist group my husband and I are a part of. Not to mention my three-year-old daughter LOVES the library. She gets to read and pick out books to take home, and there are always toys and coloring pages there. A lot of times there are other kids she can play with at the library, too. 

A lot of families struggle in Toledo. We have a high rate of poverty, so the library is such an important part of our community. It offers so many resources and the programs are always free. For many people, the library is their only access to the internet. It’s also where many children get free meals. It’s always a great place to take your family, and it’s a safe place for kids to hang out so they’re not on the streets. 

I enjoy many of the library’s programs, but for many Toledoans, the library is a lifeline. 

I understand we need to stay safe and protect each other, so the libraries should stay closed as long as needed. But when the libraries open again, I will be there to support them more than ever.

My Little Girl’s Curls

The curls grew longer
Thicker
Escaping in the wind
She whispers to the dog next door
“I’ll be back tomorrow”
She likes her pizza
Sunnyside up
Her smile
To brighten the galaxy
Those curls never go far
Because they are apart
Of something radiant —
A little girl
With the future under her feet
She’ll walk a mile
Then sprint the rest
Curls tied tight to her skull

My Appreciation for Modern Medicine

I have a deep appreciation for modern medicine because my life would not be possible without my medication. 

I’ve been a mental health advocate for more than a decade, and I’ve spent a lot of time trying to calm people’s fears about medication. My mental illness was debilitating when I was young, and although that was quite some time ago, I still think it’s important for me to spread the word and help others.

I was a big dreamer as a child and it would be heartbreaking if none of those dreams come true — some already have. Medication has given me a fighting chance. I am very aware that none of these things would be possible without it. 

For me, it’s such a simple solution. I take my pills. My symptoms are controlled. I live my life. Yes, there is more to recovery, but medication is the main component for me and many others.

I have an awesome life and god plays no part in it. I thank my doctor, science, and modern medicine for letting me chase my dreams.

Bible Stories in Childhood

I really questioned religion as a child, but due to symptoms I experienced from mental illness, I wasn’t able to fully call myself an atheist until my early twenties. 

One commenter on a previous post explained that a gruesome and far-fetched story from the Bible made them stop believing in god at a very early age.

I had very similar feelings as a child. I’ve always felt that the bible was filled with fairytales and fables and even as a kid I didn’t take them very seriously. It’s an interesting book but nothing more.

People, where I live, tend to take the Bible quite literally. It’s like with spirituality — this one area in their life — they throw all common sense out the window. If you took stories from the bible, took out god and Jesus, and put it in a different context, people would say you’re crazy for believing in it. 

We have friends of the family that didn’t tell their kids about Santa because they thought when they questioned the existence of Santa, they would question the existence of Jesus, too. That really says something, doesn’t it?

What are other parents telling their kids about COVID-19?

We’re pretty open with our daughter. She’s turning four at the end of the month, but when she asks questions, we answer them. We try to be simple and clear, but we don’t hide anything. We don’t try to come up with some foofy made-up explanation just because of her question being uncomfortable or complicated. We’ve dealt a little bit with death and questions about our bodies. She’s little, but she still deserves the truth. 

With that being said, it was hard to find a way to explain COVID-19 clearly to her. I told her there’s a virus that’s making people sick so we can’t get close to others. It’s safest for us to stay home. Whether or not she understands the meaning, she now knows the word “virus” and I think she’s a little worried. She can’t see her friends from daycare. Do they have the virus? She can’t go to Pop Pop’s house. Does he have the virus? 

When Ohio’s governor issued the stay-at-home order a few weeks ago, she didn’t seem to notice right away, but she eventually started to notice that she’s not at daycare and I’m not at work. It’s just been hard to find a simple way to explain everything to her so she understands. We don’t sugarcoat things, but I don’t want to freak her out either. We now have friends, acquaintances, and coworkers that are sick, and I want to be honest with her.

So I’m asking for advice, input, opinions, suggestions, etc. What have you told your kids? How do you explain what’s going on in the world right now?

Are you proud of your atheist culture?

Living in a heavily Christian area makes me feel like I need to be rebellious. I want to have as much pride in what I believe in as they do for their beliefs. They can openly flaunt their Christianity, and while I don’t exactly want to do that, it would be nice to know that freedom is there and that option is available. I’m different from them and I have a lot of pride for what I stand for. Maybe that makes me look like a bit of a rebel around here, but it is so important to be true to who you are. 

Right now I only flaunt my atheism online, but it’s starting to spill over into my real life. I want Toledo to be a safe place for everyone, and that means speaking up. 

Atheism is a part of my family’s culture. It affects how I live, the choices I make, and how I raise my daughter. It really isn’t any different than any other cultural demographic, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with celebrating your culture. In fact, it’s usually encouraged. 

Thank you to everyone at Freethought Blogs for taking me beyond Toledo’s city limits and letting me become part of a global community. It has given me a lot of courage in opening up about my life as an atheist mom. This helps me really embrace my (lack of) beliefs.

Do you celebrate being an atheist? Do you see it as part of your culture? Are you proud of it?

Atheism and the Arts: Recommendations Please!

I run an arts program for a local nonprofit four days a week. The rest of the week I am working on my own projects — mostly drawing and writing. I am so passionate about my work. I am an artist deep down to my bones. Being an atheist is also very important to my life and identity so it seems natural that I want that to be reflected in my work. I never paint a picture just to make something pretty; I paint a picture to tell my story. The same goes for my writing.

I would love to see more work by atheist artists and writers. Even today, a lot of the arts are tied to spirituality and it can be difficult to find work inspired by skepticism.

Can you guys recommend any atheist artists and writers to check out? I would love to hear about writers, but how about artists? Do you know of any?

The Virus (Quarantine Poetry)

My tired brain smothered
By a winding list of precautions
Stare at the endless walls
Until we call it safe

One day we’ll step out the door
And put our arms
Around each other
But not anytime soon

Empty store shelves
Empty calendars
Empty feeling
In my calloused gut

Six feet to sanity
Masks and gloves
That collect in the trash
Comfort our fear

Sanitize my driving forces
I’m one woman alone
On a welcoming portal
Connected to the world

The clock ticks on
The moon rises behind clouds
Darkness blankets the city
But the sun will rise again

A virus invades
The bodies and minds
Of this aching planet
But solidarity is contagious

One humanity
Against the sickness
One fierce and hopeful fight
Will save of all

We’re in this together

Just wanted to say thank you for your comments!

I have been blown away by how well thought out and sincere the comments have been to many of my blog posts. So many of you are willing to share your stories and I really appreciate it. I love reading them. Being an atheist in Toledo can feel isolating and your comments make me feel connected to a much larger community. I am more confident now in how I live my life even when I don’t always feel accepted here in Ohio. 

I just wanted to say thank you so much.

Ohio’s Weather and My Thirst for Knowledge

I am in awe of science and nature although I often have a hard time understanding it. I respect those fields and those who study them a lot. I wish those subjects came easier to me. 

One science field I am really fascinated with is the weather and I live in the perfect place for that kind of interest. In my little corner of Ohio, we often experience extremes — hot and humid summers, cold and snowy winters, and everything in between. There are always exceptions. The weather rarely follows the rules. Plus we’re in the Hoosier Alley so we get some gut-wrenching storms. 

I was induced when my daughter was born and when I was admitted to the hospital, my husband asked the nurses to have the baby be born during a storm. Two days later when she was actually born there was lots of thunder and lightning and everyone’s phones were going off with weather warnings while I was pushing. It was awesome. It couldn’t have been more perfect. What was funny was that a couple of the nurses were freaked out because that was what my husband had asked for and it actually happened. (However, my daughter was born at night during tornado season, so chances were pretty good that it might storm.) 

In Ohio, we are often at the mercy of the weather. It can change drastically from one day to the next. I love it. It keeps you on your toes. 

Our weather makes me want to know more about how the world works. I think that drive and thirst for knowledge is so important. Religion gives some pretty makeshift answers to the universe, but I think it is so exciting to want to discover the truth. Humans are curious creatures and it’s natural to want to learn more. Everything has an earthly explanation — even if we haven’t found it yet. We are all a part of nature — not above it.

Most people have a fear of the unknown, but we need to let go. Supernatural explanations shouldn’t be required to feel comfortable living your life in the real world.

My super awesome husband bought me a home weather station, and I’m going to learn as much as I can.

What fascinates you about the world? What do you want to learn about?