Do you surround yourself with good people?
When I was younger I was a very positive person. I thought there was a little good in everyone. Now I’m a little older, and, well, life happens. Now I know there are definitely bad people out there. Unfortunately, there are a lot of them.
But I am still aware that there are good people, too — just maybe not as many as I first thought.
I’ve become more introverted as I grow older. I’ve got to be honest, with the exception of not seeing my family, this quarantine hasn’t been that hard on me. I don’t leave the house much anyway. I have been home from work for a month and a half. With staying home due to the COVID-19 pandemic, I feel closer to my daughter who’s home from daycare and I’ve spent a lot of time writing. I really don’t need a whole lot.
In many cases, I prefer to be alone. However, the few people I have around me on a regular basis are good people. My husband, of course. He’s my partner in everything. I read my poetry to him and he’s supportive even though he doesn’t like poetry.
I’m also very close to my family. They are very supportive and we have a lot of fun together. I know I am extremely lucky to have a supportive family.
I have a few good friends who unfortunately have all moved away. We still keep in touch through Facebook. I don’t go out much but I’ve never really desired a busy social life.
So basically, I surround myself with only a few people, but they’re good people and I like it that way.
Do you feel the same? What’s your circle look like?
Prior to my transition, I lacked the social skills most learn as teens. When I began socializing, I was an innocent and not a good judge of character. Fortunately, being honest and NOT a gossip meant only the backstabbers own me an apology, not the reverse. I doubt I’ll ever hear it.
The members of my circle and my involvements have changed over time and the quality much improved (e.g. helping run a women’s support group). The people I’m close to now aren’t just friends, some I consider family and would do anything to protect them. The only downside being few of them are into clubbing, and dancing is one of my favourite things.
I’ve been taking the same personality test for 40 years now, and I always come down *right* on the line between introverted and extroverted. I had dozens of “best friends” in high school and college, but as the years have rolled on, I’ve found a core group of friends. I think of it like a bullsege; the center is my closest friends, the next ring is good friends, the next ring is friends, the next ring is acquaintences, etc.
As I’ve gone through my life, I’ve found that working full time while earning a masters degree and then earning and keeping active technical certifications while raising a family while becoming increasingly responsible for my elderly and frail parents care while trying to cram in self-care like yoga, tai chi, and walking….doesn’t leave a lot of time for maintaining friendships.
I was just speaking with a neighbor today who’s a school nurse, out of work like I have been, and we both realized that we’re hearing about the stress people are feeling, what we’re feeling during this time is an overwhelming relief. The simple ability to go to sleep when we’re tired and wake up in the morning without an alarm is an astounding gift. Normally my alarm goes off at 4:15 am and I’m at my desk between 5:15 and 5:30, then it’s off to deal with my parents’ health and financial and life care issues, then home to deal with my family’s health and financial and lifecare issues, then to squeeze in a few minutes for exercise, shower, and bed. Now, I’m in bed until 6-ish, and I’m not allowed in my parents’ care home, so I have a good 8 – 10 hours/day where I’m only responsible to my family. I spent part of that time reaching out to friends, having full conversations I haven’t been able to have in years.
Maybe you’re feeling this too?
I learned in my late teens and early twenties that I didn’t need to be with people who didn’t give a shit about me. I gravitated to people that, after getting to know them, I knew I could trust to accept me as I am. I have a small number of people I call friends, but they go back from 35 to 55 years. A few would have been longer if they had survived. I consider myself very, very fortunate.