That Bill Clinton Sure Messed Up With Kim-Jong Un!

CREDIT: Fox News screengrab.

The King of Idiots has been talking again, and, as usual, the stupid is simply too much to bear. Do his people not know he’s fucking stupid and willfully ignorant? Why do they not have someone adding a strip of masking tape to his tie with correct names on it? Something, some sort of cheat sheet, so that at least thinking Americans do not have to cringe with body contorting embarrassment every time this doofus opens his mouth. As usual, the Tiny Tyrant just had to find a way to disrespect former presidents, as disrespect is all he seems to be good at, as an unpresident and person. What will the Spicer Shit Spin on this one be, “oh, oh, well, those names are hard to tell apart!”?

After referencing Pence’s trip, Earhardt asked Trump whether he has ruled out a military strike against North Korea.

Trump responded by saying he doesn’t “want to telegraph” what he’s “doing or thinking,” but went on to suggest the time for talk is over.

“They’ve been talking with this gentleman for a long time,” Trump said, apparently referencing former American presidents’ negotiations with North Korea. “You read Clinton’s book, he said, ‘Oh, we made such a great peace deal,’ and it was a joke.”

[…]

But the “gentleman” Trump referred to, Kim Jong-un, has only been in power since the 2011 death of his father, Kim Jong-il, so he certainly never negotiated with President Clinton. In fact, the October 1994 Clinton “peace deal” that Trump referred to in this interview was largely negotiated before the death of Kim Il-sung, Kim Jung-un’s grandfather, in July of that year.

Trump’s ahistorical comments about North Korea’s leadership were reminiscent of his now-infamous remarks about abolitionist leader Frederick Douglass during an event commemorating the start of Black History Month on February 1st.

“Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job that is being recognized more and more, I notice.” Douglass died in 1895.

The president’s apparent confusion about who’s in charge of North Korea also comes just days after he erroneously described missile strikes he approved against the Assad regime in Syria as “heading to Iraq.”

Think Progress has the full story, and a video, if you can stomach it.

“I Wanna Ride in the Gold Carriage, Waaaah!”

The Mexican president rode in the state carriage in 2015 but President Obama chose to spare his hosts the security nightmare. Mr Trump faces a more severe threat in October. TOBY MELVILLE/AFP/Getty Images.

The Tiny Toddler Tyrant is having a tantrum over riding in the Queen’s gold carriage when he visits London. Needless to say, it’s a security nightmare in the best of times, and these are not the best of times. President Obama waived this bit of pomp in order to spare everyone said security nightmare, but Tiny Toddler Trump? Oh no, he wants his carriage ride. A gold carriage? Why, that just has “Trump” written all over it, right?

Donald Trump waving from the Queen’s royal carriage is not a scenario many would have foreseen a year ago, but it has become a very real prospect, forcing security services to plan an unprecedented lockdown.

The White House has made clear it regards the carriage procession down the Mall as an essential element of the itinerary for the visit currently planned for the second week of October, according to officials.

Security sources have warned, however, that the procession will require a “monster” security operation, far greater than for any recent state visit.

Essential? No, it’s not essential. President Obama showed that it was no such thing, and had a wonderful visit. This is a capsule portrait of the monstrous toddler currently loose in the white house. He wants what he wants when he wants it, there’s zero possibility of acting like a godsdamn adult. Yet another 70something white man who thinks the world is his little plaything on a gold platter. Naturally, there isn’t one single thing on this planet which is more important, and essential than Tiny Trump getting his gold carriage ride.

British security services are balking, saying the president’s wish is presenting them with “monster” problems is helping to keep the U.S. president safe.

London Metropolitan Police have already been making plans for Trump’s visit, expecting tens of thousands of protesters to descend on the procession route. Their preference is for Trump to make use of a bullet and bomb-proof car that was previously used by former President Barack Obama.

“The vehicle which carries the president of the United States is a spectacular vehicle. It is designed to withstand a massive attack like a low-level rocket grenade,” a police source explained. “If he’s in that vehicle he is incredibly well protected and on top of that it can travel at enormous speed. If he is in a golden coach being dragged up the Mall by a couple of horses, the risk factor is dramatically increased.”

Perhaps they should consider spraying the merely spectacular vehicle with gold paint, and having horses trot along in front.

Via The Times of London and Raw Story.

America The Ugly. Ugly, Ugly, Ugly.

Credit: Screenshot, Fox News.

In a disgusting, repellent display, even for those purveyors of disgusting, Fox News thought it would be appropriate to show the Moab bombing of Afghanistan, overlaid with treacly jingoism in the form of country music. As much as I love words, I don’t have enough for this perversion, my gorge is rising. I’ll include one of the videos here, if you can cope with it. I suggest not playing, I did, and it made me want to vomit.

That didn’t stop Fox News, however. President Trump’s favorite television program — Fox and Friends — celebrated the bombing, with a soundtrack to boot.

“The video is black and white. But that is what freedom looks like, that’s the red white and blue,” host Ainsley Earhardt said after the program showed the video of the bomb dropping in Afghanistan.

“One of my favorite things in 16 years at Fox News is watching bombs drop on bad guys,” Geraldo Rivera says.

Oh. In that case, I look forward to someone dropping a bomb on Fox News.

The video was shown overlaid with country star Toby Keith singing the chorus of “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue,” which celebrates the military with jingoistic fervor:

“Hey Uncle Sam, put your name at the top of his list
And the Statue of Liberty started shakin’ her fist
And the eagle will fly man, it’s gonna be hell
When you hear mother freedom start ringin’ her bell
And it feels like the whole wide world is raining down on you
Brought to you courtesy of the red white and blue.”

Later in the program, Fox and Friends showed the video again, again overlaying it with uber-patriotic country music.

“We’ll play a little music, demonstrate the moment of impact there in Afghanistan on the MOAB in Nangarhar province,” host Pete Hegseth says, as the video plays under Kid Rock singing “born free.”

[…]

Fox News, which was the most-watched cable network of 2016 and is a primary source of news for millions of Americans (including, it seems, the President), isn’t overly concerned about those deaths, however.

“I think it is very, very important we kill bad guys but there is no denying that the issue of friendly fire is really egregious,” Rivera said, only to be immediately rebutted by host Pete Hegseth.

“Why go there first, Geraldo?” said Hegseth. “Civilian casualties happen. We’re going against an enemy that cuts off our heads.”

Oh right, seems yours hasn’t been cut off, has it, you fucking moron? Have there been waves of the Mother Of All Swords landing here in the good ol’ U.S. of Amerikka, resulting in thousands of heads rolling? I haven’t noticed anything like that at all. Not that I’d be entirely against certain heads rolling, and I’m looking at Fox News. I’d most likely favour a guillotine though. More efficient. Goddamn disgusting asshole apes, chattering away, ever so excited over dead people. Celebrating. Yeah, why ever go there, ’cause you know, people die, who gives a shit, lookit that bomb go! Of course, when other people fight back against that sort of thing, they are the bad ones. And, they are the bad ones when they become radicalized because bombs keep being dropped on them, killing people. Those people that don’t matter, because hot damn, lookit at that thing go! Fucking barbaric animals.

:Spits:

Think Progress has the story.

Easter Egg Events Are So Complicated! Who Knew?!

An actual president and first lady perform at the Easter Egg Roll. I know. CREDIT: White House/Pete Souza.

Oh, who knew a longstanding white house tradition could be so complicated? It’s just so gosh darn bigly yugely complex and stuff, well, no one said anything about that. It comes as a compleat lack of surprise that the Keystone Regime can’t manage a lightweight easter entertainment. Oh my.

The only thing more ridiculous than the White House Easter Egg Roll is the inability to plan a White House Easter Egg Roll. But as with health care, nobody in the Trump administration knew it could be so complicated to plan this festive spring event that has been going off relatively hitch-free since the Hayes administration. For someone who promised to never allow the blasphemous tidings “happy holidays” to emerge from our irreligious lips again, President Trump is remarkably lax about this Christian-lite rite.

First Lady Melania Trump has yet to fully staff the East Wing. She has no director for the Visitors’ Office, and trying to plan an Easter Egg Roll without one is like trying to pass sweeping bans on immigration without a director of U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services — oh, wait, never mind.

As the New York Times reports, everything about this year’s gathering, scheduled for Monday, appears to be about half the size of President Obama’s 2016 event: The number of guests expected to attend (20,000, down from 37,000 in 2016); the number of volunteers staffing it (just 500); even the number of commemorative eggs (40,000, down from 2016’s 85,000).

Maybe there could have been more eggs if Trump hadn’t waited until the last minute to put in the order. The Trumps apparently ignored a tweet from the company Wells Wood Turning & Finishing, which supplies the commemorative wooden eggs used at our nation’s official Easter Egg Roll. “FYI manufacturing deadlines for the Easter egg roll are near. Please reach out!” The call went unanswered until early March, when the eggs had to be rush ordered.

Oh, that’s how to get Mr. Tweet to ignore a tweet. Wells Wood should have mentioned ratings.

In an echo of Trump’s inauguration, celebrities who have performed at this event in the past — Ariana Grande, Idina Menzel, and the like — are opting out; instead, musical entertainment will be provided by military bands. And many of the groups that typically get blocks of tickets, including military families and public schools in Washington and its sprawl, haven’t yet heard anything from the Trump administration.

Usually, PBS sends along a whole fleet from Sesame Street. This year, only one character will be there, and I’m sure it won’t be awkward at all, what with Trump recently proposing that funding for PBS be eliminated entirely from the federal budget.

You can be sure though, that the Tiny Tyrant will find time to twitbrag about how bigly and yuuge and star-studded the event was though, in spite of all evidence pointing to the contrary.

The Times also notes that, while the Easter Egg Roll is “typically a heavily and enthusiastically promoted affair,” no one from the White House responded to “several weeks’ worth of inquiries,” nor did they deign to “provide basic information such as how many people are expected to attend.”

Awww, look, the Tiny Tyrant is dissing the Easter Bunny and Jesus! Oh no.

Think Progress has the full farce coverage.

“Even Hitler Didn’t Sink To Using Chemical Weapons”

Tucker Viemeister.

“Someone as despicable as Hitler didn’t even sink to using chemical weapons,”

So said one Sean Spicer. To date, the stupidity has already been excruciatingly difficult to bear, but this? Really? When asked for clarification, Spicer stated that Hitler never used gas on his own citizens, so y’know, all those German Jews? Guess they weren’t German. Or citizens. Jesus Fuck. The internet at large is already busy tearing Spicer apart.

Initial Story, Spicer Gets Eaten Alive.

The Golf Course Ratings War.

A U.S. carrier group, including the aircraft carrier USS Carl Vinson, shown here, departed Singapore on Saturday, April 8, towards the Korean Peninsula, according to a Navy news release. CREDIT: AP Photo/Bullit Marquez.

The Tiny Tyrant is, once again, where else? On a fucking golf course in Florida. For all the mouthing off this idiot did about President Obama golfing, this massive asshole seems to be unable to stay off of one for a whole three days. Poor Little Tyrant, his pointless bluster in the form of an airstrike didn’t work on his ratings. They stay at the bottom of the barrel. What’s a tyrant to do? Oh, well, let’s take a shot at provoking a nuclear war, that should work! FFS, is there no one who will tell this sociopathic idiot that most people, including Americans, really don’t fucking want a nuclear war, because most of us don’t want to fucking die just yet?

We now have two idiotic, sociopathic tyrants facing off in their “my dick is bigger!” contest, Kim Jong-Un and Little Donnie. Yeah, I’m gonna go paint while I can.

Think Progress has the full story.

Oh, there’s also this:

“Xinhua, the state news agency, on Saturday called the strike the act of a weakened politician who needed to flex his muscles,” The New York Times reported. “In an analysis, Xinhua also said Mr. Trump had ordered the strike to distance himself from Syria’s backers in Moscow, to overcome accusations that he was ‘pro-Russia.’”

Not “pro-Russia”. Right. How in the fuckety fuck does that work when he had his little chat with them, warning them about the strike? FFS, no one can take this idiot seriously, which only ups the possibility he will use nukes. Christ.

Via Raw Story.

Breaking: Syrian Warplanes Leave Airbase Hit by U.S.

JUST IN: Syrian warplanes take off from air base hit by U.S., carry out strikes in Homs countryside – Syrian observatory for human rights.- Reuters.

According to the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights, the planes carried out strikes in rebel-held areas in the Homs countryside.

The Shayrat base was the target of a Tomahawk missile strike carried out by the United States late Thursday night, a direct response to reports the Syrian regime launched a chemical attack on its own citizens Tuesday morning.

Via Raw Story.

Also see: Trump’s vision on Syria’s foreign policy is still completely incoherent.

Lemme Guess, Unicorns.

unicorns-in-the-bible

Oh, the verse on that image? Yeah, Psalm 92:10, the psalmist is referring to his penis, which will be mighty, with a bit of help from god or someone. Rick Joyner has been rehashing an eight hour trip to heaven he took a few years ago. I haven’t watched the video, because I haven’t had enough tea. Not sure there is enough tea for this kind of thing. There’s a tiny bit of info though:

As Joyner recounted to students attending his MorningStar University, he was once “so physically sick” that he was convinced that he had “Ebola plus the bird flu” and was utterly unable to get out of bed. During that illness, he went to sleep one night and “went straight to heaven.”

If you had ebola virus, with or without bird flu, you’d be decaying someplace, and we would be free of your bullshit. So much for that awful exaggeration.

“I had an eight hour earth-time experience in heaven,” he said. “I’ve had experiences where I was caught up to heaven a number of times and every time, I’m in a different place. I’ll tell you, heaven is so unbelievably diverse. There are more species in heaven than there are species upon the earth, spiritual species. You get a taste of it as you read the Scriptures and all the different beings and everything that there are; angels are just one little group in heaven.”

Oh, heaven is diverse. How about that. Seems odd you Christians have a pathological hatred of all diversity here on the planet. I’m pretty sure you don’t know jack shit about any species here on the planet, but I’d be willing to bet your heaven includes unicorns with mighty erect horns, and of course, dinosaurs. Probably with saddles on.

Via RWW.

When “Telling It Like It Is” Is Not Acceptable.

DFL House Minority Leader Melissa Hortman (screen grab).

DFL House Minority Leader Melissa Hortman (screen grab).

When is ‘telling it like it is’ not acceptable? When the telling is done by a woman, aiming a pointed remark at white men. Uh oh.

According to The Uptake, the incident happened on Monday while the Minnesota House was debating a bill that would increase penalties for protesters who block roads, a tactic successfully used by Black Lives Matters.

DFL House Minority Leader Melissa Hortman noticed that many members had not been on the floor to hear Rep. Ilhan Omar’s (DFL) speech comparing modern day protesters to the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s. So Hortman used a procedure known as “call of the House” to force lawmakers to return to the chamber.

“I hate to break up the 100 percent white male card game in the retiring room, but I think this is an important debate,” she said, exposing the activity of absent lawmakers.

Republican state Rep. Bob Dettmer objected: “I’m a white male. I respect everybody. But I really believe that the comments made by the Minority Leader were really not appropriate.”

“I have no intention of apologizing,” Hortman replied, adding that she was “really tired of watching women of color in particular being ignored. So I’m not sorry.”

[…]

However, Rep. Greg Davids (R-Preston) did think the statement was racist. Heather Carlson of the Rochester Post Bulletin reports that Davids thinks Hortman should resign over the comment. “I was greatly offended by minority leader Hortman’s racist statement about white males,” said Davids according to Carlson.

Mr. Davids has now gone the mortally offended route, and thinks Ms. Hortman should resign for saying something white men don’t like. He’s also claiming it’s racist. Idiotic Privilege, thy name is Davids.

Full story here.

Russia Investigation: Let the Tantrums Begin!

House Intelligence Committee Chairman Nunes arrives for a weekly meeting of the Republican Conference with House Speaker Paul Ryan and the GOP leadership on Wednesday. CREDIT: AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite.

House Intelligence Committee Chairman Nunes arrives for a weekly meeting of the Republican Conference with House Speaker Paul Ryan and the GOP leadership on Wednesday. CREDIT: AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite.

On Tuesday, House Intelligence Committee chair and former Trump transition team official Rep. Devin Nunes (R-CA) made the extraordinary claim that Democrats are actually the ones obstructing his committee’s investigation into connections between President Trump and Russian officials.

Nunes — who abruptly cancelled all scheduled committee hearings last week, including one that was to feature testimony from Sally Yates, the former acting attorney general who alerted the White House to Michael Flynn’s deceptions about his communications with Russian officials and was fired for refusing to enforce President Trump’s Muslim ban — told NBC News that “it appears the Democrats aren’t really serious about this investigation.”

“They need to give us their witness list because we have no idea who they even want to interview,” Nunes said. “So, at the end of the day here we’re going to get to the truth, we’re going to find out who’s actually doing a real investigation… we’re going to do an investigation with or without them, and if they want to participate that’s fine, but the facts of the matter are pretty clear.”

But a source with knowledge of the situation tells ThinkProgress that Democratic members of the House Intelligence Committee actually submitted a tentative witness list to Republicans on Tuesday and haven’t yet heard back. That information was corroborated by Business Insider’s Natasha Bertrand, who reported that a “[c]ommittee aide tells me Dems provided witness list to Nunes yesterday and offered to schedule hearings next week, have not heard back.”

[…]

Nunes might say “the facts of the matter are pretty clear,” but they’re not. Here’s what we do know. Last Wednesday, Nunes held a press conference where he appeared to clumsily validate Trump’s claim that Obama wiretapped his Trump Tower phones by saying he has “recently confirmed that on numerous occasions the intelligence community incidentally collected information about US citizens involved in the Trump transition.”

Instead of sharing that information with the intelligence community or his committee members, Nunes raced to the White House to brief Trump, whose campaign is under investigation for possible collusion with foreign agents. In the week since, Nunes has steadfastly refused to share what he claims to know about legal incidental collection at Trump Tower with his House Intelligence Committee colleagues.

The list of willful obstruction on the part of Nunes and Gowdy continues over at Think Progress, and it’s quite the long recount of obstruction. It would be downright laughable, the weak attempt to place blame on democrats, except for the fact that this is extremely serious. If this was anyone else, everyone would be going apeshit, screaming for impeachment and imprisonment. The silence of those on the right is more than telling, it’s an indictment all its own, of just how much they truly don’t care about such treasonous actions, as long as the crimes are being committed by someone on their side of the fence.

Think Progress has the full story.

Tin Cap Time.

1477417057308

The Heartland Institute recently had their “Fuck the Planet!” conference, attended by the Mercers, and all those others who have some sort of vested interest in killing off everyone and everything. I guess they’ll bug out to Mars with Musk when life becomes unsustainable.

The atmosphere was buoyant at a conference held by the conservative Heartland Institute last week at a downtown Washington hotel, where speakers denounced climate science as rigged and jubilantly touted deep cuts President Trump is seeking to make to the Environmental Protection Agency.

Front and center during the two-day gathering were New York hedge fund executive Robert Mercer and his daughter Rebekah Mercer, Republican mega-donors who with their former political adviser Stephen K. Bannon helped finance an alternative media ecosystem that amplified Trump’s populist themes during last year’s campaign.

The Mercers’ attendance at the two-day Heartland conference offered a telling sign of the low-profile family’s priorities: With Trump in office, the influential financiers appear intent on putting muscle behind the fight to roll back environmental regulations, a central focus of the new administration.

The Washington Post has a full run down on the conference.

I’ll just focus here on the batshit element of such conferences, this time, embodied by ever loony Lord Christopher Monckton:

Raw Story has a rundown of his 5 main points, so click on over if you prefer to read.

The Farce That Is “The Wall”.

Ryan Zinke (Twitter).

Ryan Zinke (Twitter).

Just when you think rethuglicans really could not possibly go lower or more regressive, *bam*. Ryan the fink Zinke has a problem with the stupid wall – placing it on U.S. land would cede the Rio Grande, oh no wtfbbq!!!11!1 The solution? Doesn’t seem to be one right now, outside of making sure endangered animals are endangered right into extinction. It seems the only way to keep the Rio Grande would be to either steal land from Mexico, or build it on Mexico’s land and claim it for uStates. Or something. Jesus Fuck. There’s that Colonial mindset at work.

E&E News reports that Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke talked about the logistics of building a border wall while speaking at an event held by the Public Lands Council this week, and he said the Trump administration didn’t want to build the wall on American soil because it would mean ceding the entire Rio Grande river to Mexico.

“The border is complicated, as far as building a physical wall,” Zinke said. “The Rio Grande, what side of the river are you going to put the wall? We’re not going to put it on our side and cede the river to Mexico. And we’re probably not going to put it in the middle of the river.”

Zinke didn’t elaborate on how the wall would get built if it wasn’t located on America’s side of the Rio Grande or in the middle of the river, which implies that it would be built on the Mexican side of the border.

Elsewhere in his talk, E&E News reports Zinke said the Trump administration will seek a waiver to the Endangered Species Act so it can build the wall in jaguar habitats that are for now protected from “destruction or adverse modification.”

Via Raw Story. And, Ryan fucking idiot Zinke has now said there’s no such thing as clean energy. Nope.

A Minnesotan’s Brave Fight With A Non-Existent Black Man.

The Dog Pound Bar in Owatonna was the scene of a wild fight between a man, alcohol, a weapon, and his own ego.

The Dog Pound Bar in Owatonna was the scene of a wild fight between a man, alcohol, a weapon, and his own ego.

A man who initially claimed he was shot in the arm by a black man has been revealed to be lying, because gosh, there were surveillance cameras outside the bar, and the cops looked at the footage. Just the brave Minnesotan in a private battle with a handgun while drunk.

Back in early March, Chris Thissen, of Waseca, told cops in Owatonna that he’d tussled with a gun-toting black man outside an Owatonna bar, having learned the dark-skinned would-be criminal was plotting to attack the bartender.

During the ensuing fight, the black man’s gun went off, striking Thissen in the arm; the mystery black assailant and a female companion then ran off.

Oooh, the discovery of a plot! I have to wonder just how long Mr. Thissen has been indulging in fantasies of being the very brave white hero against the evil black man, and his requisite girlfriend.

In a subsequent police interview, he changed his story, admitting he’d been at Owatonna’s Doug Pound Bar until close. Arriving at his vehicle, he told cops he “found” the revolver in there, and tried discerning “if it was loaded.” It was, as proven by the bullet he accidentally shot into his arm.

And, even when the truth comes out, it’s not altogether true: he “found” a gun! Yes, there was a gun just lying mysteriously in his car. Naturally, he doesn’t question this at all, or hurry to unload the thing on the cops, just in case it was used in an actual crime or anything, no. The most important thing to do is to figure out if it’s loaded, then to shoot yourself. As Mike Mullen so drily points out:

The black man described in Thissen’s original story is still at large. He is a suspect in hundreds of other police investigations, historically, and is expected to continue popping up at the scenes of crimes that did not happen.

Given the attitude of much of law enforcement towards people of a brown persuasion, it would be ever so nice if craven white people would stop blaming them for their own stupidity.

Via City Pages.