From Nightjar,
H is for Heliotrope ©Nightjar, all rights reserved
Heliotrope.
A pink-purple tint that represents the color of the garden heliotrope flower. I couldn’t find the flower, but I found the tone on an African Daisy. I wish I could have shared this photo with Caine, she loved daisies and I know she would have loved that curled petal.
Something very special from Nightjar.
The Barberry shrub I planted last year in Caine’s memory (https://proxy.freethought.online/affinity/2018/08/22/a-living-remembrance/) is blooming right now and the bees have been visiting it. This Sunday I was finally able to take a few photos and I thought I should share.
©Nightjar, all rights reserved
Minion down, ©voyager, all rights reserved
This is a bit of a pensive Jack’s Walk. 2018 was a long difficult year and now that it’s over I’ll tell you that I feel winded by it all. The loss of Caine hit me hard, it hit all of us hard, and it seemed after that that things kept piling on. Personally, mother-in-law was diagnosed with kidney cancer and had her right kidney removed. Mr. V’s heart condition worsened and the swelling in his legs caused calf ulcers that won’t heal. My mother developed congestive heart failure and refused to take the medicine because she didn’t want the inconvenience of peeing out all the extra fluid (Mom can be a pip.) Jack had a big, expensive surgery and a very close friend was diagnosed with liver failure. She’s still waiting to see the specialist, but it’s likely she will need a liver transplant. Sometime during all of that (between August and December) I developed shingles. That’s not new, I get shingles a few times a year, but this time they’ve persisted. One patch clears up and another erupts. It’s enough to make you feel like the minion above. Face planted.
Time has already fixed a few things. My mother-in-law is thriving after surgery. She’s 92, lives alone and is as active as any 50-year-old. She bakes, she cleans, she irons, she walks and she even has a new beau who sends her little notes and flowers. My mother now has a catheter in place and she’s gotten rid of all the extra fluid with no peeing required. Jack is happier than ever now that Larry (the lump) is gone. His gait is as good as it was when he was young and he prances when he’s happy. Mr. V has only one small ulcer left to heal. That may take some time, but it’s definitely improving. His heart is stable and still as beautiful as ever.
And look. That minion might be down, but he isn’t out. He’s still got his wind and even more importantly he still has friends. How lucky. Me too. This past year something profound happened in my life and that is Affinity. I’ve been around since the beginning, but I lurked. I just didn’t feel confident enough to participate. Caine kept encouraging me, though, and so I finally joined the comments and even sent in a photo or two. When she became ill I was still fairly new to all of you, but I wanted to help Caine so I took the chance and stepped forward and what I found was a community who welcomed me. All of you have added to my life.
So last year brought some very good things, too. Like all years I suppose, with their measures of bad and good not always equal, but always both. I try to focus on the good because I prefer to live in gratitude. So, this seems like the proper place to end with Jack and I both looking at the pluses of life and prancing into 2019.
Since it’s the time of the year to traditionally do so, and since my colleagues have mostly done so already, I’ll do my personal account of 2018.
It’s the personal, and also some of the political, and looking at all of it it would be silly to expect one year, a unit of time whose start and end us humans decided, to be one thing. 2018 started with fraught. My teacher training was nearing its end and it almost ended my career as a teacher (it did so for a friend of mine). I scraped by a “pass” and I passed several months in a mixture of anger and despair. My family and you, my friends, always had an open ear for me and helped me to cope with the stress. Caine always had a kind word, while she herself battled with cancer.
Meanwhile, the world descended further into fascism. The Brits kept committing the suicide called Brexit, the Trump administration locked up kids in cages, and in Germany the Bavarian conservatives made refugees the one and only “problem”, despite the fact that few are still arriving
Then summer came, and things were looking up, at least on the personal front. I found a job that I really like, with all its challenges, and Caine was nearing the end of her treatment, when the news of her death knocked the feet out from under me, and all of us. How can you love a person you have never met in the flesh so much? How can you miss somebody you have never seen so fiercely? Some days I still cannot comprehend that she’s gone.
Affinity survived, it’s community survived, because especially in these times, you need your friends.
Therefore, the best thing in 2018 was friends.
Voyager, I’m so happy to have you as a friend, across that big wide pond. Your posts make me smile and your friendship means a lot to me. And thank you for the card. Yes, I noticed the tits right away.
Rq, sometimes it seems like there’s just one script for life with kids and we both follow it. I know that 2018 wasn’t an easy year for you either, family wise. I hope things will get better. I know they can. I love your music posts and how you often discover art and share it with us.
Charly, you Jack of all trades. You have so many talents and you create so many beautiful things, from living trees to hard metal. I often envy your dedication and endurance in your projects. I hope you will have a lot of time and good health to spend on these projects in 2019.
My dear friends and readers of Affinity, I won’t try to name you all, because in the end I’d miss somebody. You make this blog what it is. You keep sending us pictures and projects, let us glimpse into your lives and cultures. To all of you I give a rose in memory of things passed.
©Giliell, all rights reserved
And a rosebud as a promise for things yet to come.
©Giliell, all rights reserved
The year is almost at an end, and thank goodness for that, amirite? 2019 should be so… much… ummm… well, let’s enjoy the end of 2018 at least, okay?
One of the biggest events for me this year was the passing of Caine, as a(n internet) friend, as an inspiration, as a teacher, as an emotional support. Amongst all the other changes, this was huge, so it was a very emotional moment when I recently received a package from Germany, which included not only life-saving cookies, but also a very special envelope with a very special letter and a huge reminder of what we all miss so much, embodied in a perfect shiny little pendant:
Horse pendant by Giliell. Best thing ever.
©rq, all rights reserved.
And everything was blurry for a while.
Thus, before the closing of the year, I would like to say a big thank you to my fellow bloggers, my fellow readers and commenters, and most of all, to Caine (and Rick) for being the beginning and support of this whole blogging project.
©rq, all rights reserved.
Today’s song choice is one that always, always reminds me of Caine – strangely, the song is about a person who would, most likely, be the ultimate opposite. The chorus reads something like “You – don’t like [the taste of] dandelions, / You – don’t like me; / Where others have a raging rapid, / You have built an H[ydro] E[lectric] S[tation]”. It’s my favourite new song by a local artist this year (the video isn’t), and I hope at least some of you enjoy it, too.
Also, I want to apologize for sparse contribution lately. I’m never good with the end of the year, which is a long and melodramatic story, but I hate New Year’s even more than I don’t like Christmas, and things don’t seem to get better with time (except the idea of not attending peopled activities or large fireworks events), but I will improve with the new year and the lengthening of days. Thanks for reading!
In Memory of Caine (front of card),
Over the holidays I received a very special package from Giliell. It’s one of Caine’s painted horses, in miniature on a background of silver and set in clear resin. It came with a beautiful handmade card reading In Memory of Caine. The note inside was even more beautiful. Giliell has made many resin horses and, together with the card, has sent them out to as many members of our Affinity community as she could gather addresses for.
Giliell’s gift to the Affinity community
The resin pendant is beautiful and Giliell’s artistry is obvious. The silver shimmers and catches the light and Caine’s horse is spirited and full of running energy The pendant is also meaningful and I cherish it already. I love the thought that these wee horses now reside in places all over the world and that my horse is one link in a chain that stretches far and wide. I love the reminder of Caine’s energy and talent. I love the way such a small work of art makes me feel connected and how it reminds me of my good fortune to be a part of this community.
Resin pendant with one of Caine’s horses, made by Giliell
In memory of Caine (back of card)
I don’t want to catch Giliell unawares, but if you are part of our family and are feeling left out please drop a note to our in-box at [email protected].
Giliell, I’m a bit verklempt and can’t quite find the right words, but thank you for such a thoughtful and meaningful gift. (I did get a few other goodies from Giliell which I’ll share in another post, but this gift needed a post of its own.)
Yesterday on his blog Stderr, Marcus wrote about the creation of a very special heart in a post titled Un-Achable, Un-breakable. This is the rest of the story, told by kestrel who used her artistry to create a unique and meaningful braiding for the heart.
Marcus sent me this amazing Damascus steel heart that he had made as a gift for Someone Special, and he asked me to put some leather braiding on it. I was happy to comply and decided a key fob would be good to braid on there.
©kestrel, all rights reserved
I was looking for inspiration for a dagger&sword project for next year, and during my web crawl I found this image. And I was immediately reminded of Caine and the “Dance with Death”series she posted this year. I think she would love it.
I would like to provide you with the translation of the german text, but I cannot read the font no matter what so I cannot even reliably transcribe the original – I understand about a half. On top of it I suspect it is poetry and that gives me trouble even in my native language, let alone in archaic German.
Strauch, Wolfgang: Landsknecht und Tod
Source -click-
(Or, When I Think About People. This is what happens.)
This share has been a long time coming, because it felt right to ask Rick’s permission to share – mostly I’m of the opinion that I’m allowed to share my own art, but I wanted to be sure this time. Thank you, Rick.
Back at the end of spring, I was finally ready to make some art for Caine, and I had it all figured out – but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to do a companion piece for Rick, because while we, as readers, may not have seen much of him, he was certainly there for Caine and deserves more than general acknowledgement. I had him down as more of an Air person, but I double-checked, and Caine had no doubts – Water it is.
Caine, of course, is Fire.
Yes, the photo is bad quality, but it’s the one photo I took that makes any sense, and… I dunno, it works for me. Most of my art goes out into the wide world and I never see it again. I try to keep track, and maintain an archive, but I’m lazy like that and some of my favourite pieces have no record at all.
Both pieces are about A5 (half a Letter-sized piece of paper, for you NAmerikaners), done in acrylic, and both were inspired by incredible people. I’m glad to know that they arrived in time for Caine to see them.
They’re Rick’s horses as much as they are Caine’s horses.
©rq, all rights reserved.
And no, there will not always be time. But sometimes there will be just enough.
I miss Caine.
Remember this?
It is now about four weeks later, and five shades darker:
I’ll take another photo in another couple of weeks, same time, same place.
©rq, all rights reserved. Click for full size.
Also I have a small confession to make: since I received my Acceptance Ring from Lofty via Caine, I haven’t removed it for any significant amount of time. Lately, though, it was getting loose on my thumb, to the point where it would slip off (into my purse, a pocket, the floor of the car), but I have always been able to find it again. Soon after taking this photo, however, it slipped from my thumb and fell onto the tracks. I can see it, every time I wait for the train, and I’m trying to get up the guts to retrieve it (believe me, train traffic is not nearly so busy for this to be a truly life-endangering activity) – my thumb feels naked, and I’ve lost a fidget toy.
On the other hand, there’s a strange appeal to knowing the ring is just down there, a little piece of the world of Affinity, a little part of my everyday morning. So I think that, eventually, I will go after it – when the evenings get dark enough for people not to see me rooting around underneath the platform. In the meantime, a small gift from friends has melded with something larger.
In memory of Caine, who taught me much about the value of our surroundings and the value of water, and to celebrate Indigenous People Day, because Indigenous People all over the world have to fight for their water, against the black snake of oil and fracking, against the industries that use it as a throw away article, against the companies that will take people’s water and then sell it back to them in bottles..
I am very privileged to life in a beautiful place where I can probably say hello to tonight’s drinking water by taking a walk in the morning. This morning I took that walk and took pictures of the water here.
©Giliell, all rights reserved
The sign telling you that this is a protected water reserve
Small and sparkling in the sun.
©Giliell, all rights reserved
Slowly meandering between the trees
©Giliell, all rights reserved
A footpath with stakes to walk on.
I live in a swamp, that’s why I’m always bogged down.
©Giliell, all rights reserved
Mirror, mirror…
©Giliell, all rights reserved
And finally, should the humans get thirsty, there is a wonderful fountain. You cannot see the actual nozzle, because it’s quite deep, but the water is always fresh and delicious. ©Giliell, all rights reserved
From Caine’s husband, Dakotagreasemonkey (Rick):
C’s Wake is Thursday evening, 5 to 7 PM at Stevenson’s Funeral Home in Dickinson, ND. There will be a display of C’s Art, and her music will be playing in the background. Friday morning at 11:00 AM, C will be interred in the Almont, ND Cemetary.
Virginia Alice Rink, Ginger, became my wife on March 11th, 1979. She was a talented artist, very opinionated, and used her art to express her ideas of the beauty of diversity and inclusion. She also used many “Noms de Plume” in her Art career, especially once she started corresponding on various forums and communities on-line. Caine, Chris, “C”, she used most, once she started blogging in earnest. Pen and Ink, watercolors, acrylics, Photography, digital art, embroidery, are just some of her favorite mediums. She lost her battle with cancer on 8/7/2018, and I do miss her terrribly. She has many international on-line friends, who are continuing to keep her blog alive, and below are comments about C from her friends.
Si le viol, le poison, le poignard, l’incendie,
N’ont pas encore brodé de leurs plaisants dessins
Le canevas banal de nos piteux destins,
C’est que notre âme, hélas! n’est pas assez hardie.
Les Fleurs Du Mal, Baudelaire
Her soul was bold enough, and then some. Rob Grigjanis
Many here started our time out on Pharyngula by being whacked over the head by Caine
Haha! Caine once whacked me over the head about something stupid I said. I can’t even recall what it was exactly, but I will be grateful for that lesson forever!I rarely comment. I’m not really a part of this community… But I often read the comments. It’s easy to ignore people, but I always made it a point not to take her input for granted…And this really sucks. Caine was always on point. She was vicious. She was kind. She was fucking great. klatu
Thanks everybody for the wonderful comments. Jayne and I are wandering around the house feeling totally lost, the anchor to our lives broke it’s rope. I was a Cupcake plenty of times, and got whacked on the head too many times to count. I was asked by the funeral home to provide a eulogy, I think I’ll just provide this post and comments as her eulogy. It’s the right thing to do, as she was very private here, with just a very few local friends. One of the reasons we chose to live in Almont , ND, is this is a town where the Side Walk (paved road) Ends. It’s taken 4 attempts to read these posts, before I could stop crying to make this one. Thank you every one, for being her friend. Thanks, everybody for the outpouring of Love. It means the world to me. Thanks for being her friend. Caine’s ashes are at funeral home now, and I’ve arranged for them to be interred in a vault in the Almont Cemetery. sometime soon, or not, if someone really wishes to be here for that event. She found this little town at the end of the sidewalk for us to live in, in her fathers native lands, so I feel it is fitting she stay here.
Dakotagreasemonkey
The dandelions are still out and about in the lawn, in various guises.
via iguanamouth.tumblr.com
(More here, the second illustration is lovely.)
I know they were some of Caine’s favourites, so of course I stopped to take a few photos (did not see any dandy lions, though – sadly).
Bright yellow and sneaking around in the grass!
Pretending to be a star.
And on the subject of vague nostalgia, here is song I meant to share a while ago, from a new folk/fusion/? group of singers called Tautumeitas (“The Folk Girls”, although the term ‘tautumeitas’ is generally used as a collective term for unmarried women who are not kin). They have a few I will be sharing (love their stuff), I know Caine herself shared one a while ago. This song is called Sadziedāmi, and the chorus, in essence, says: Let us sing together, sisters, while we are still in one place – who knows where each of us shall be other years?