Fuck it. I did not expect to have to write this.

Works were progressing nicely, I ran several tests and optimization rounds. I got the thicknesser remove material in parallel both across and lengthwise with several iterations that I won’t write about now because they are moot. It was working adequately. Also as I wrote, I did try to plane one board across the grain manually and it worked just fine. I really did not expect any significant problems. I was ronk.

Today I glued sacrificial sides to all my kitchen boards and decided to try to flatten those. The first one I tried to push under the thicknesser, removing barely 1 mm of material – BOOM. And the planer was broken. When I disassembled it I found out that for some reason the wood bent the steel knife of the planer, thus it bit into the housing. Subsequently, the propulsion shaft broke off and the aluminium cylinder for the knives got deformed too.

Apparently, planing hardwood across the grain is even more pernicious than I expected. Now I don’t have an electric planer anymore. That would not be a problem since I do not really need one. However, I still do not have a thicknesser, which I do need. And I have several glued-up boards which I cannot finish with a reasonable amount of work. This is a huge setback and I am at a loss about how to proceed.

I can buy a new hand planer but it won’t fit in the stand I built. I can’t buy the same one because it is no longer on sale and it is no longer possible to get replacement parts to fix it. Not to mention that when I removed the cover, so many metal parts were bent out of shape or broken that repair is probably not feasible. Now  I am even afraid to run these boards through any kind of thicknesser whatsoever. If I bought a thicknesser for 500,-€, and found a way to fit it into my workshop somehow and this happened, saying that I would not be happy would be an understatement of the year, I would be ruined.

I glued up seven boards and I tried to flatten them with the drum sander. At first, it always appears to progress reasonably quickly but as the boards get flatter, the abraded surface gets bigger and thus I have to slow down to not burn the wood. And when I get to an almost flat board with a few deeper spots it slows to a crawl. I was aware that this might happen and I hoped to avoid it by being diligent when gluing the boards. It did not work. One part of the problem was that I cut these with my old slightly blunt and wobbly table saw blade so they were not very precise. The other part of the problem was that no matter what I did the boards shifted while the glue was curing. Even when I tried to insert dowel rods to prevent it.

So I tried to flatten one board with my electric hand planer. It worked, just so-so. It did reduce the time needed on the drum sander later on but the surface was still way too wavy for that to be the solution. I am not very good with the hand planer, I rarely need it so I lack the experience to use it properly. I also hate it, it is heavy and the gyroscopic precession makes it unwieldy.

So, the drum sander works splendidly for perfectly flattening surfaces but I need something else to remove material more aggressively first. In other words, I need a thicknesser. I really hoped I could avoid this.

As with the drum sander, there are two obstacles to simply buying one. I am broke and none of those that I could find on the internet would fit into my shop anyways. I toyed with the idea of attempting to make a second drum for my drum sander, but I rejected it – I would need really high rpm and there’s no way I can make this thing so precise to not be dangerous when spinning really fast. My electric planer came with a jointer adapter that I never use because, despite appearances, I like having all ten fingers. However, that adapter means one thing – the planer has anchor points for fixing it somewhere permanently. So I decided to try and use those.

First I spent a few days being grumpy and thinking about how to do it. I rejected at least three ideas of my own and three that I found on the internet. There were some good solutions to be found but they all required something that I lack, usually space and versatility. I need something compact that can be set up relatively quickly and easily, I cannot store a dozen or so shims and spacers or have huge skids and guidance rod protruding on sides. I was constantly going through my scrap piles and thinking about what could be useful and how. And two days ago I finally arrived at an idea that I thought is worth trying to realize and I made a very rough sketch of the various parts that I will need.

The materials I initially gathered were: 4 pieces of angled iron, 6 black locust boards, 2 offcuts of 22 mm galvanized piping, an old spigot handle, two hammer-in M10 nuts, an M10 threaded rod, and a handful of woodscrews. I still dreaded the start of the work because I am constitutionally incapable of precise work and this does require precision.

I started by cutting all the black locust boards to size and shape and smoothing the surfaces on my belt sander.

I also flattened two boards on my drum sander to get perfectly flat and parallel surfaces and I glued them into a bigger block. I would use one piece of wood but I could not find one of sufficient size.

This has shown that whilst for my sloppy work most of the blame goes on my two left hands, part of the blame was on my tools too. With a new, sharp, and thick blade suddenly my table saw was capable of cutting black locust wood to precise dimensions and at really right angles. The use of a drum sander made making two surfaces mate perfectly positively easy. After three days of work, I got to this.

I managed to fix the planer to the scaffolds and run a small board under it. That is a very tentative sign that this might actually work.

I will write more in detail about all the individual parts and the whole thing when it is finished. If it fails, I will write about it too. I won’t progress much in the next two days, however. Tomorrow I must take my father to the hospital because he injured his knee and what I will do next depends on what the diagnosis is going to be. We might need to buy new crutches, with underarm support.