Oh, that 100 days. It looms, and there’s a desperate effort underway to pull off a magical “re-branding” of the regime. Yep. That’s the caliber of our current government, spending time on trying to come up with catchy phrases and massive spin on all those “great accomplishments” so far. I can’t honestly say this is any sort of competent regime, any more than I can say it’s any form of government at all. It isn’t. We’re the country of failed mail-order steaks, but hey, we’re gonna have a new brand, so everything is greeeeaaaaat, you betcha!

The symbolic 100-day mark by which modern presidents are judged menaces for an image-obsessed chief executive whose opening sprint has been marred by legislative stumbles, legal setbacks, senior staff kneecapping one another, the resignation of his national security adviser and near-daily headlines and headaches about links to Russia.

The date, April 29, hangs over the West Wing like the sword of Damocles as the unofficial deadline to find their footing— or else.

[…]

“One hundred days is the marker, and we’ve got essentially two-and-a-half weeks to turn everything around,” said one White House official. “This is going to be a monumental task.”

For a president who often begins and ends his days imbibing cable news, the burden has fallen heavily on a press team that recognizes how well they sell Trump’s early tenure in the media will likely color the president’s appetite for an internal shake-up.

That was the backdrop for a tense planning session for the 100-day mark last week.

More than 30 Trump staffers piled into a conference room in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building adjoining the White House, according to a half-dozen attendees who described the Tuesday meeting.

Mike Dubke, Trump’s communications director, and his deputy, Jessica Ditto, kicked off the discussion of how to package Trump’s tumultuous first 100 days by pitching the need for a “rebranding” to get Trump back on track.

“I think the president’s head would explode if he heard that,” one of the White House officials present said.

Oh, the need to re-brand “Trump”, yes, I imagine that one wouldn’t go over well.

Staffers, including counselor Kellyanne Conway, were broken into three groups, complete with whiteboards, markers and giant butcher-block-type paper to brainstorm lists of early successes. One group worked in the hallway.

“It made me feel like I was back in 5th grade,” complained another White House aide who was there. “That’s the best way I could describe it.”

Dubke, who did not work on the campaign, told the assembled aides that international affairs would present a messaging challenge because the president lacks a coherent foreign policy. Three days later, Trump would order missile strikes in Syria in a reversal of years of previous opposition to such intervention.

“There is no Trump doctrine,” Dubke declared.

Some in the room were stunned by the remark.

“It rubbed people the wrong way because on the campaign we were pretty clear about what he wanted to do,” said a third White House official in the room, “He was elected on a vision of America First. America First is the Trump doctrine.”

“America First” is not a doctrine. It’s not anything. It’s a bit of rhetoric tossed out like a barbed net to catch the slowest swimmers. It doesn’t mean jack shit.

As for the rebranding remark, Dubke said that had been misinterpreted. “There is not a need for a rebranding but there is a need to brand the first 100 days,” Dubke said. “Because if we don’t do it the media is going to do it. That’s what our job is.”

Oh, the dishonesty. Yes, you’re trying to re-brand, and you’re in desperate need of something, after all, you can’t be dropping missiles and bombs every day, right? As for the media, it would be nice if the assholes who decided tossing random missiles was presidential would pull their head out of their arses, but you can’t blame media for reporting the facts.

Trump’s communications team is now plotting to divide their first 100 days into three categories of accomplishments, according to people familiar with plans: “prosperity” (such as new manufacturing jobs, reduced regulations and pulling out of the Trans-Pacific Partnership trade deal), “accountability” (following through on swamp-draining campaign promises such as lobbying restrictions) and “safety/security” (including the dramatic reduction in border crossing and the strike in Syria).

:Snort: Well, the Pants on Fire teams will be busy. Trump has not done any of that, except to lie his arse off about it all. Everyone already knows the strike in Syria was a meaningless attempt to shore up ratings.

Trump aides are grappling with the reality that they will end this opening period with no significant legislative achievements other than rolling back Obama-era regulations. Even the White House’s most far-reaching success, the confirmation of Justice Neil Gorsuch to the Supreme Court, required the Senate rewriting its own rules to overcome Democratic opposition.

Yes, 45 to 50 years of hard fought for legislation which helped all people, and protected our land and water, all gone. So fuckin’ yay for you, idiots. That’s quite the “accomplishment”, making sure it will take people decades on end to repair all the damage done so far.

Though the White House continues to push for progress on stalled health care legislation, there are only five legislative days remaining once Congress returns from a two-week spring break. Plus, another deadline looms: Trump and the Republican-controlled Congress must still pass a bill before April 28 to keep the government running.

If they fail, a shutdown would begin on Trump’s 100^th day in office.

And that would be Trump business as usual, wouldn’t it? I’m sure he’d solve it with a few more $3.5 million trips to Florida to golf. *spits*

Full story at Politico.

Oh look, here’s an “accomplishment”:

Via NYT.