Well, the crank who predicted we’d all die a horrible and fiery death on the 23rd this month has re-evaluated. Doomsday is just around the corner, starting on October 15th, but it won’t be a horrible and fiery death, no. The rapture will happen, natch, but then it’s just going to herald in the tribulation, so really, nothing will change. We won’t even be able to say bye to all the christians.

Writing on his website, Meade clarified his belief that the 23rd is the date of a “historical event” in the skies that would signal the oncoming rapture. Doomsday itself, he says, will begin on October 15.

That date marks the beginning of a seven-year period of tribulation. “That’s when the action starts. Hold on and watch—wait until the middle of October and I don’t believe you’ll be disappointed,” he writes.

Some things to watch out for are the loss of electrical power across the world, leading to war, famine and other perilous events.

Hmmm, lots of places in the world are dealing with loss of electrical power because hurricanes. Nowadays, wars are a bit difficult to conduct without power. Anyroad, we’re awash in wars, power losses, famines, and other perilous events, read a fucking newspaper, Mr. Meade. Historically speaking, these things have been going on forever.

To be clear, Meade says, “Nothing is expected to happen in September.”

Oh, there’s a whole lot happening. Just not what you want, right?

Meade points to the total eclipse on August 21 as a significant event which he believes acts as a precursor to the beginning of the rapture. He says the date marks a 40-day countdown to the beginning of October. “October is the month to watch.”

Mmm. The rapture is not going to happen. It’s never going to happen. Get the fuck over it, please.

Meade subscribes to the conspiracy that a 10th planet, Planet X or Nibiru, will either cross or collide with Earth, leading to a seven-year period of tribulation, or rapture. This will be followed by a millennium of peace.

The rapture and the tribulation are two distinct events, dude. If you’re going to twist the mess of christian theology around, get it right. So, seven years of awful stuff, then the legendary thousand years of peace. Right. We’ve managed thousands upon thousands of years of tribulation. We haven’t managed peace yet. I won’t be holding my breath for your magical planet or your magical god to set things right.

So, doomsday, business as usual.

Via Raw Story.