This is a nuclear weapon. Note the size.
These are bales of weed. Note the size.
So, you’re a superuberbad villain, with deeply maleficent intent. You just need a genius way to smuggle a nuke into the States, so you can conveniently get it to your chosen location and detonate it. No need to trouble yourself with the specifics of how this villainy could be carried out, Rep. Trent Franks (R-AZ) has you covered! See, you just need to hide the nuke in a bale of weed, then sail right through those incredibly porous borders! Why no one would ever think to check that out, no. Honestly, what in the fuck is wrong with people, that they freely elect such compleat idiots? FFS.
Rep. Trent Franks (R-AZ), whose district is just over 100 miles away from the U.S.-Mexico border, referenced the illicit drug trade in a discussion Wednesday with CNN’s Brianna Keilar on President Donald Trump’s proposed border wall.
“The reality, Brianna, is that we have to measure all of the costs, ancillary and otherwise, and make the best decision that we can. But I can suggest to you that there are national security implications here for a porous border,” Franks said. “We sometimes used to make the point that if someone wanted to smuggle in a dangerous weapon, even a nuclear weapon, into America, how would they do it? And the suggestion was made, ‘Well, we’ll simply hide it in a bale of marijuana.’”
Pretty sure most smugglers are considerably smarter than Mr. Franks and whoever made the “hide it in weed!” suggestion. As for weed, eh, given the sheer amount of domestically grown weed, why bother with the imported stuff?
This was not Frank’s first reference to a nuclear weapon traveling across the border in a bale of marijuana. In fact, he raised the possibility on the floor of the U.S. House during an Aug. 2, 2012 speech, according to his website.
“Specifically imagine for a moment, Mr. Speaker, the scenario of Hezbollah, one of Iran’s terrorist proxies, gaining possession of just two nuclear warheads and bringing them across the border into the United States concealed, say, in bales of marijuana,” he said, “then transporting them into the heart of two different, crowded, unnamed cities. Then calling and telling the White House exactly when and where the first one will be detonated, and then following through 60 seconds later.”
Right. That’s Wile E. genius if I ever heard it. Via TPM.
As for the two smuggled weapon scenario, I’d just get my dragon to take the nukes Between and leave them there.
i can’t even
That level of stupid should be lethal.
Chigau, if you have dragons, what do you need nukes for? Just get the dragons to have fun decimating the city of your choice.
While Franks is undoubtedly an idiot, there may be a valid point here after all. According to the Washington Post, the US. Border patrol seized 1.5 million pounds of marijuana at the border in 2015, which is down substantially from previous years, mainly due to increasing domestic production. (https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/03/03/legal-marijuana-is-finally-doing-what-the-drug-war-couldnt/?utm_term=.81041471e118) Doubtless though that means quite a bit more than that is getting through.
So IF terrorists had access to a nuke, and IF they wanted to use it against us, and IF they were sufficiently organized and well financed — yeah, then the US border probably wouldn’t present much of a challenge to them. And it might even be true that a good strategy for them would be to pay a drug cartel to get their nuke across the boarder — the “slip it in a bale” bit looks like hyperbole.
Of course, Frank’s corollary that a wall is a good idea is nonsense — my impression is that a lot of that comes in by plane. The takeaway I’d recommend is that we need to put more focus on de-nuclearizing the world, rather than thinking our border will keep us safe. But that’s just me.
Bruce:
No, there is not. You seem to be pandering to idiocy quite a lot these days. There are quite simple ways to deploy a nuclear weapon without all the nonsense of smuggling one across a border, let alone smuggling contraband within contraband, because of course, no border guards and their drug sniffing dogs would pay any attention to that. Drug cartels make money by selling their goods. Agreeing to blowing up a sizeable portion of their clientele would hardly be in their interest, especially, as I already fucking noted in the post, most people in the States are using domestically grown weed. It’s safer, in some states, it’s legal, and in other states, you can get a med card for the stuff. The med strains are particularly good, better than what comes out of Mexico these days.
The maniacs with nukes we need to be concerned with are those like…our president. Much more likely to die at his tiny hand. This absolute fucking crap is not in any way fucking valid. I’ll thank you to take the time to actually fucking think before you comment here. Christ.
Geez that’s stupid. The obvious way to smuggle a nuke into the US is across the Canadian border in a barrel of maple syrup. Now get started on that wall!
Kengi:
Oh, sticky! Better wrap it in bacon first. Mmmmm bacon.
Well, if we can sneak in a nuclear weapon in a bale of weed, how about a nuke in Agent Orang’es butt? Straight from Russia? That seems far more likely to me. /snark
Seriously. Have these guys never seen a nuclear weapon? **bangs head on desk** Who voted for these people?
Kestrel:
I don’t know, but they need to stop it.
Nuclear weapons are both harder to obtain and heavier than weed. Unlike weed, one does not simply grow nuclear weapons, nor can one make nuclear weapons that are signatureless.
Besides: the US has the most nuclear weapons. We should be worried about them leaving our borders, not entering them. Hauling coal to Newscastle! Sad.
Smuggling a nuke is a much easier problem than obtaining one. And right now the easiest way to obtain one is to work for the US government
But if the people who had the resources to steal a nuke can’t get the border wall, they’ll obviously be thwarted. It’s not like the U.S. has any coastline or anything. Also air travel isn’t an option, because it’s inconceivable that people who steal a nuclear weapon might also be able to get their hands on a plane.
Knabb:
It’s also well known that nuclear weapons have no effect on fences or walls, either. Stops ’em cold. Yep.
Now I’m curious if terrorists are smuggling knives onto planes by hiding them in guns…
Not sure where I saw this, so sorry if it was here, but that reminded me of How to sneak choclate into American movie theatres.
Kengi @ 16:
That really should not have made me laugh. It was that or cry, though. And the name of the candy bar has been messed with, right?
You bolt your missile onto the rubber-wheeled steel cart as seen in the top photo, climb aboard, ignite the rocket engine, and zoom over the border with a big grin.
That’s how Wile E. would do it, right?
Caine @14:
Well, yeah. I mean, immunizing the cities on the American side of the border to nuclear weapons detonated on the Mexican side of the border is half the point of the wall. Either that or there are no potential targets there, I don’t remember.
True fact: when Trent Franks runs off the edge of a cliff, he doesn’t start to fall until after he looks down.
It’s like these people have never seen a container shipping port. You think even a fraction of a percent of containerized shipping gets even the most cursory inspection?
I believe the phrase you were looking for is “several orders of magnitude”.
Drug interdiction is like airport security -- a ludicrous and completely ineffectual farce merely intended to give the impression that something is being done.
Dunc:
One thing that never happens to come up is that there are filthy rich Americans who have a vested interest in certain items getting over borders, and they have the money to grease all the right palms. Ever so mysterious how that never, ever comes up in all the “war on drugs” bullshit.
I think you’re all being unfair to Trent Franks.
.
It’s obvious he’s calling out for the US to legalize weed, which ends smuggling so this tragedy can never happen.