Lawrence Ware at Fusion addresses the massive facepalming wrong of whitesplaining apologies by people caught doing things which are racist as hell. Mr. Ware lists the 5 worst whitesplaining strategies, which also apply to other types of notpologies.
1. “I apologize to anyone who may have been offended.”
This is the classic non-apology. To say that these words have meaning at all is pushing it. The person in the wrong isn’t expressing remorse over what they’ve said or done; they’re merely acknowledging the response of the offended. This statement is but a logical step away from saying, “Y’all just need to stop being so damn sensitive.”
2. “I have black friends.”
Somehow a white person caught doing something racially problematic thinks having a black person as a favorite in their iPhone absolves them of racism. Someone should tell them it just doesn’t work that way. Put succinctly, we don’t give a damn if a white racist has a black friend.
3. “I know MLK quotes.”
Some white people have a tendency to take MLK’s words out of context. When King wrote in Where Do We Go From Here, “Whites, it must frankly be said, are not putting in a similar mass effort to reeducate themselves out of their racial ignorance. It is an aspect of their sense of superiority that the white people of America believe they have so little to learn,” he was probably talking about the same white folks who are misusing his words, like Seattle Mariners backup catcher Steve Clevenger, who apologized for his offensive comments about the Charlotte, North Carolina, protests by harkening back to MLK’s “I Have a Dream” speech: “I am also proud that my inner circle of friends has never been defined by race but by the content of their character.”4. “You misunderstood.”
This is insulting. The statement implies that what the offended party heard was not actually what the offensive person said. A slightly more authentic, yet just as problematic, approach is the “that’s not what I meant” defense. In that case, one owns that what they said might have been distasteful, but insists that they didn’t intend for it to offend. It’s similar to a 5-year-old who accidentally hits their sibling, but thinks screaming “I didn’t mean to do it” will sufficiently solve the problem. Just because a person didn’t mean for something to be racist, doesn’t mean that they didn’t do something hella racist. Just ask the folks who believe that the Confederate flag is all about heritage. Yeah, white folks who say this sound about as dumb as them.
5. “I don’t see race.”
Aside from the fact that it is nearly impossible, this is a statement centered in white privilege. In Racism Without Racists, Edwardo Bonilla-Silva argues that pretending that race doesn’t exist only perpetuates white privilege because it doesn’t force us to address the systemic nature of oppression. Racism is not just interpersonal—it’s also institutional.A few words of advice to white folks caught being racist: Just own it. It’s not cool, but admit it and learn from your mistake. Your attempts to whitesplain your way out of having said something racist is coming off about as ridiculous as Shaggy’s attempts to prove his fidelity in “It Wasn’t Me.”
That excuse only holds water if and when you show true willingness to learn and change. Now, I admit that it’s possible to say something racist without even being aware of how problematic it is. First of all, racism is endemic and you may not even have ever thought about the origin or connotations of a certain phrase, especially when you’re not a native speaker. I remember learning about the racist implications of the whole “watermelon” thing.
Before, I may just have innocently said to a black American “wow, you really like watermelons, do you!”
How should that person have known that I had no clue? I would truly not have meant it, yet it wouldn’t have mitigated the initial feelings of the black person.
I always say it’s like stepping on someone’s toe: If you do it, however accidentally, you move your foot and apologise. You don’t keep standing on someone’s toes and claim that just because you didn’t do it on purpose you don’t need to apologise and move your fucking foot.
Giliell:
Exactly. It’s easy to forgive honest ignorance, but only when someone actually admits to it.
I never get this shit. I mean, if I was a racist and said something racist, because I was a racist, and someone called me on it, I’d say “yeah, so?” But if I don’t think I’m a racist (hint: I don’t!) and someone ever were to tell me I sounded like a racist, my reaction would be “holy shit!? how? let me pull that apart and I will try to understand that better and adjust my attitude, thank you. shit, I feel terrible! sorry!”
Basically, what you said @#2.
Oh gods, I’ve never seen an MLK quote get so abused like that “content of their character” one. The people who are fighting tooth and nail against diversity in and behind the scenes in entertainment looooooove using it. It’s become a cudgel so overused that I could pretty much guarantee if you see someone use it on Twitter or in a comments section, they’re on the wrong side of the argument.
Tabby Lavalamp
The one quote you never see is the Letter from Birmingham Jail…