I Am A Prophet, for predicting the SCOTUS decision!1!!oneeleventy!! Which demonstrates only the power of … luck and coincidence. But on a semi-serious note, the tears of unfathomable sadness for the usual suspects were made unnecessarily worse by CNN and Fox News’ shoddy reporting, as Stewart handily demonstrates in the clip above.

You know who did get it right, first, as best I can tell? SCOTUS Blog, that’s who, and they deserved every hit they got:

WSJ— Breaking big Supreme Court news isn’t easy. Just ask CNN and Fox News, which got their initial reports wrong Thursday morning, announcing that the individual mandate had been struck down when in fact the high court’s complex decision amounted to upholding the law. (CNN later apologized and Fox said it was just reporting the news as it came out.)

The difficulty of making sense of complex court decisions at lightning speed makes it all the more impressive that one news organization that roughly tied with Bloomberg and the Associated Press in breaking the news correctly at 10:07 a.m. was SCOTUSblog, a small Supreme Court blog normally read by lawyers and other hardcore law enthusiasts.

“We had more hits today than we had probably in the first six and a half years of the blog combined,” said Tom Goldstein, the blog’s owner and publisher. “There were roughly one million people on the blog at one time.”