This one is so weird, so stupid, and so wrong that I’m sitting behind my keyboard, literally tugging at my hair.
What I believe we’re looking at is the intersection of QAnon believers, anti-vaxxers, and incels.
If you take a mistaken/bad belief, then build on it to its illogical consequences, you get things like this: [vice]
Unvaccinated conspiracy theorists think that their dick, balls, and cum are more pure than the rest of the population’s, and that refusing the COVID-19 vaccine (which has been proven to be nearly 100 percent effective in preventing hospitalization and death from the virus around the world) will make the market value of their semen skyrocket.
I was a teenaged boy, once, a long time ago. The idea that jizz – anyone’s jizz – has value is a new one to me, I recall that for a long time the problem was getting rid of copious quantities of the stuff. These guys think there’s a market for theirs, and that the vaccines will increase its value?
The whole idea is built upon the (wrong) belief that the COVID-19 vaccine will alter the subject’s DNA. That’s wrong, of course – vaccines cause the immune system to build specialized reactive antibodies. I’m not sure how they came up with the idea that the subject’s DNA is altered. But, if you presuppose that the DNA is altered, then that would mean that pre-alteration haploid cells are going to be more valuable? Whaaaat?
It’s a particularly popular notion on r/NoNewNormal, an anti-mask, anti-vax subreddit that was quarantined by Reddit this week. “I’m going to retire as a ‘cum cow’ 🐄” one person wrote in a thread about the sperm theory.
Cows are female; why didn’t he fantasize about being a “cum bull” or just “a stud”?
The crossover between crypto-dudes, anti-vax dudes, and a sprinkle of semen-retention nonsense is resulting in fascinating discourse. A screenshot of the headline from an article from the cryptocurrency blog Protos, “Is unvaccinated sperm really the next Bitcoin?,” is being passed around without context, even though the article explains that this isn’t the case. “The only thing that’s going to get us out of this shitfest is going to be the ideas and solutions that are being explored in cryptocurrencies at the moment,” one Redditor said. “Mark my words that unvaccinated sperm and blood will be in high commodity in a few months to a year,” wrote another.
How can someone be so stupid and still be able to access the internet? And, obviously, they think they are going to breed. Breed massively.
Let’s make sure that they know that having sex with a vaccinated person will contaminate them.
I am reminded of a Vonnegut short story.
https://sensitiveskinmagazine.com/big-space-fuck-kurt-vonnegut/
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You know what changes your DNA? Being infected with certain viruses. That’s why people who ever had chicken pox need to get the shingles vaccine.
Because some of the vaccines are mRNA based.
I see what they did there.
Here’s a piece of trivia that will win you oodles of money in bar bets: The English language in common usage does not have a non-sex-specific term for an adult Bos taurus.
A lot of people seem to be very confused about cows.
I never watched the film Barnyard, but WikiP confirms my faint memories of seeing the trailer and being very confused. Quoting from a review: “but one aspect is utterly mystifying: The two main characters, father and son bovine creatures, have large, distracting udders”
I see that the film won an award: “2006 Stinkers Bad Movie Awards”
The next thing we’re going to hear is that some of these jerkoffs start babbling about “Purity Of Essence.” “I don’t hate women, Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence.” Let’s hope none of them get control of nuclear weapons.
What… ?? OK. Where is the market for this stuff? Are all these people going to invest in liquid nitrogen tanks to store straws of their frozen semen? A tank and set up will cost about $500 bucks but it does not end there as the tank must be recharged from time to time, generally it is checked weekly and refilled every 100 days. How long do they intend to keep this stuff? What exactly are they proposing to do with it all, snort it? I have so many questions…
I mostly want to hear about who in the Wide World of Sports would pay for straws of semen from unvaccinated dipshits.
anat @ #3: You know what changes your DNA? Being infected with certain viruses. That’s why people who ever had chicken pox need to get the shingles vaccine.
The first part is true; cell division, aging, radiation, cancer and some cancer medications are other things that change DNA to various extents. The example is not good, though. Varicella zoster virus simply remains dormant within cells (nerve cells, usually) and reactivates later as zona zoster. It has this dormancy in common with other herpesviruses. It does not modify host DNA. Even though some herpesviruses cause cancers, they do not induce it by modifying the host DNA.
Retroviruses are the ones that embed themselves into the DNA of the host cell; HIV-1 is the most well-known retrovirus.
Aren’t there other viruses that can be embedded into DNA? I think I’m thinking of bornaviruses, and the WikiP page links to another page on mononegaviruses :
kestrel@#9:
A tank and set up will cost about $500 bucks but it does not end there as the tank must be recharged from time to time, generally it is checked weekly and refilled every 100 days.
I know why you know that. But it made me pause for a moment.
Maybe someone needs to branch into this opportunity, selling incels “collect your legacy” kits.
I’m having a moment picturing the future where one of these guys die and some family member has to clean out their house. And then they find the guy’s personal sperm bank.
Owlmirror @ #11: You’re right, there are other valid examples. I did not mean to exclude them. My point was that herpesviruses were not a valid example.
They’re just concerned about the purity of their precious bodily fluids. It’s straight out of Dr Strangelove…