Whenever I encounter someone saying that Texas should secede, I counter that the US should give Texas back to Mexico.

As reported in The Guardian:

It was a typical scene at the start of the new school year – student groups setting out tables and trying to sign up recruits for sororities, clubs and religious organisations. Until the end of the row, that is, where hundreds of people had gathered to pick up free dildos.

Wednesday’s Cocks Not Glocks protest against Texas’s “campus carry” law was held on the first day of classes at the University of Texas at Austin, which has spearheaded resistance to the new rule from students and faculty members at colleges in the state.

I love a clever protest like that.

Texas, in order to protect its citizens in the 1970s, passed a law against “artificial penises” and “artificial vaginas” that are designed to stimulate the genitals. Because: Freedom!

They Hate Us For Our Freedoms

Maybe it’s also because the dildo and vibrator lobby is nonexistent, while the National Rifle Association is not.

I wish Dr Chuck Tingle would get on the job with Texas, perhaps they need some artificial coffee cup sex toys, or maybe a fuckable plush Boeing 787 “Dreamliner”  I’m pretty sure that “Slammed in the butt by Texas Politicians and the NRA” would sell.

I’ll be in my bunk.

Update: Amazon sells a giant 3 foot tall super dildo. Too bad it’s $600 or I’d send one to the state-house. Come at me bro!!!