Poor Ted Cruz.
First, his god tells him to run for President of the US.
Then, his god humiliates him in primary after primary.
Ted wanted his Republican opponents to pray and drop out of the race.
But it didn’t quite work out that way.
What a capricious puppet-master god Ted worships!
Their god is such a joker! So often telling them to run for office, then handing them defeat. Or maybe they aren’t listening to a god at all but their own desires to wield power. Dishonesty from a politician? NAH!!
Cue the old Sam Kinison bit about god telling Pat Robertson to run for office.
“I got bored. I told Pat to run for president. Aaaahaaaahaaaaaahaaaaaa!”
There’s an Ozarks folk tale about a farm boy who came runnin’ into town, just a-hollerin’. He told the preacher man that he’d been looking for a sign from God, and just now, the clouds had formed two big golden letters in the sky. It was P C, and that stands for “preach Christ”, and he was going to be a preacher man, too. The preacher looked him over, shook his head, and said, “No, son, it stands for ‘plant corn’.”
Perhaps it’s another bet with Satan. Everything worked out swimmingly for Job in the end, so maybe Cruz too will get a brand spanking new family out of this deal.
Menyambal: apparently Ted thought it meant “President Cruz”.