Other segments of the blogging universe also have pointless polls

It’s a whole new world I’m not in the least bit interested in exploring: it turns out that healthcare information technology people have professional blogs about their field, which is cool and useful, but the jargon is impenetrable, the acronyms prolific, and the subjects tend to be far from my interest areas. But that’s cool, the feelings are probably mutual, and everyone has got to follow their own path, so I have no objections at all — I’m just warning you that you generally won’t find much to get you excited on these things.

But still, I was sent a link to a weird blog entry, and as a recent patient at a hospital, I had to object to a few little annoyances. First is a rather inflated sense of importance.

What about IT? What we do is no less critical to the healing process. Our hands may not touch patients, but they do touch their lives in ways unseen. Arguably, IT is the only segment that touches the entire healthcare continuum.

Uh, no, that would be the custodial staff. I don’t doubt that the CIO and IT people are important, but really — the deepest contact they’ll have with patient is when they reach into the poor sick person’s wallet to grab the doctor’s fee. (Point take from the comments: the IT staff do far more than billing, and are important throughout the healthcare process. But don’t forget the custodians!)

Anyway, the crux of the CIO’s blog post is that he saw some surgeons getting their hands blessed (yikes, useless and disturbing — I hope none of my doctors relied on their lucky rabbit’s foot to do their job), so he wanted it done for the IT people, too.

I contacted our chaplains, and they were excited about the concept. For the first time this spring, we conducted a Blessing of the Hands ceremony exclusively for IT. The chaplains first shared with our team the sanctity of what we do in serving people and the impact we have on the lives of both patients and caregivers. They prayed over us. They prayed a blessing over a special vial of oil then used it to anoint our hands.

Gah. Magic grease slathered over their hands — why should I trust this medieval lot to do their jobs correctly? Now I’m wondering how many anointed fruitcakes are wandering the streets right now. But never mind my weird phobias about superstitious professional people with power over my life, look at this: he included a poll. A really bad poll.

Should hospital IT employees be expected to have a higher level of compassion and spiritual beliefs than their counterparts in other industries?

No 47%
Yes 53%

Because, like, all those bee-yatches in insurance IT can be heathenish, godless hatas with no need for that magic jesus jizz on they hands.

Hey, if that guy would start writing like Herbert Kornfeld, his blog might actually be interesting to more than just a narrow slice of specialists.

Trust Fox News to come up with a stupid poll

Really, they just don’t get it. The struggle for equality applies to everyone, not just a few dimensions of the range of human sexual behavior. It’s like they’re desperately parsing up the range to find something everyone will consistently object to, and it probably won’t happen.

Should transgender or transsexual people be allowed to legally marry?

Yes 76.9%
No 22.1%
Not sure 1.0%

Hey, how about the next question being, “Should gingers be allowed to marry people who can curl their tongues?”

Lazy poll

This is a piddly little poll on a lame Christian web site, and it only has a few votes — it’ll be a pushover. Give ’em a thrill and more votes than they’ve ever had before.

Are you good enough to get to heaven?

I don’t believe in heaven or hell
71.8%
No, but I put my trust in Jesus Christ who promises to take away my sins and give me His righteousness
15.4%
Yes, I fully measure up to God’s standard and have kept all His commandments
12.8%
I’m good enough in my sight, so I think God will let me in
0%
No, who is good enough?
0%

Another Ten Commandments poll

Once again, some hick town has a few redneck ignoramuses thinking civic law is defined by a few Old Testament commandments. It isn’t.

Should a Southern Illinois town put the Ten Commandments in its town square?

Yes. It’s good to remind people of God’s laws governing our behavior.
72%
No. It violates separation of church and state, and is offensive to non-Christians.
23%
Who knows?
5%

God’s laws say I can’t mow my lawn on Sunday, can’t have a statue of Buddha in my house (we do, actually), and can’t appreciate an attractive starlet on TV. Why should a town praise a bunch of bad laws they won’t ever enforce?

FOXNews and an already corrupted poll

By popular demand (50 email requests in the last few hours), here’s an absurd Prop8 poll on FoxNews. Go ahead and take a stab at it, but from my perspective, it’s already been trashed — with numbers like this, it’s already clearly down to battling bots duking it out.

Did Judge Make Right Call In Gay Marriage Case?

Yes — Prop. 8 violates the Constitution. 47% (46,786 votes)
No — Marriage is an institution between a man and a woman. I don’t care what the judge thinks about the Constitution. 46% (46,277 votes)
I’m not sure but shouldn’t the voters views count for something? 6% (6,321 votes)
Other (leave a comment). 1% (840 votes)

Hovind runs a poll

How can I resist? Eric Hovind does the usual trick of putting two reasonable answers on it to split the rational vote, but I think a good goal would be to simply make both of them crush the stupid creationist answer.

What do you believe about evolution?

It’s a religion. 46%
* It’s a fact! 43%
* It’s a reasonable scientific theory. 11%

Fly, my pretties! Destroy the poll!


Corruption rules: that poll was utterly demolished in yet another way. After many votes were accumulated, Hovind changed the wording of the question to “What do you believe about creation?” without changing the answers or the tally of votes. Eric is following in the dishonest footsteps of his jailbird father, I see.

Louisiana is polling you on creationism

It’s a simple question.

Do you think Livingston Parish public schools should teach creationism?

Yes, evolution is a lie 22%
Yes, so children can hear both sides 35%
No, religion has no place in science class 29%
No, we don’t need to waste tax money on lawsuits 13%
Don’t know 1%

I think readers here might have a slightly different set of answers than are up currently, though.