Person the first, Travis Clark, a defrocked priest who was arrested for having consensual relations with two sex workers in a Catholic church:
A former Catholic priest who was arrested in 2020 after a passerby saw him and two dominatrices having sex on the altar of Pearl River church pleaded guilty Monday to a single count of felony obscenity. Travis Clark listened to 22nd Judicial District Judge Ellen Creel read the elements of the obscenity statute at the courthouse in Covington. Clark, 39, received a suspended prison sentence and will serve probation.
Clark and two women, Mindy Dixon and Melissa Cheng, were arrested in September 2020 after a passerby noticed lights on at Sts. Peter and Paul Catholic Church in Pearl River. The witness saw Clark, partially naked, having sex with two women who were wearing corsets. When police arrived, they seized sex toys, stage lights, a cell phone and the tripod-mounted camera.
Person the second, a fully frocked Gregory Aymond, who carried out magic rituals to erase the demonic presence of the sex workers, among the least of his silly superstitious acts:
New Orleans Archbishop Gregory Aymond last appeared on JMG in October 2020 when he held a ritual burning of the altar upon which “demonic” dominatrices had filmed a three-way with a local priest in view of passersby.
Earlier in 2020 he appeared here when his archdiocese declared bankruptcy in the face of an avalanche of abuse lawsuits.
Also in 2020, Aymond flew aboard a World War II-era biplane on Good Friday to sprinkle holy water on New Orleans in order to stop the spread of coronavirus.
More seriously, he has defended pedophiles, opposed abortion, and wants gays back in the closet, the usual vile Catholic shit.
Which one scares you more?
Why do Catholics get to have all the fun? Sex with demons sounds exciting, but we atheists have to settle for sex with other (consenting) adult humans.
Do we know how effective the holy water sprinkling was at stopping coronavirus? What cities were used as negative controls?
I am more scared of the dominatrices than the second priest.
I can get the hateful nonsense that priest vomits forth for free, dominatrices cost loads and in these straightened times where living costs are increasing I am scared I won’t be able to afford them.
Louis
@1
My guess would be as effective as using it in exorcisms.
@1 Matt G: Coronavirus survives pretty well in water. Unless the priest included a disinfectant in the holy water it probably extended the life time to some degree.
Best use of an altar I’ve read about in years!
Wellm, the lucky and good-looking one do at least.
Edit: Well, the lucky and good-looking ones do at least.
That is hilarious.
Matt G @ #1
We atheists can have sex with the exact same demons as Catholics. Do what thy wilt…Enjoy.
@ 9
To be fair, I would love to be the summoning sorcerer in some succubus role-play/cosplay. I just hope my protective wards work. The only thing I wouldn’t want her to suck is my lifeforce. ;)
I have questions. Since when do dominatrixes have sex with clients? Define “sex” here. Rubber toys and lubricants maybe, with the holy priest in the prone position?
“Also in 2020, Aymond flew aboard a World War II-era biplane on Good Friday to sprinkle holy water on New Orleans in order to stop the spread of coronavirus.”
That is actually more than “the pandemic is over” Biden has ever done.
PZ, you should start a contest for the best punchline for “A priest and two two dominatrices walk into a church….”
12: “The dominatrices look at the cross and say, ‘Whoa, you’re into some REALLY freaky stuff!'”
Burned the altar? Why? it’s just wood . They just had sex not released some 100% death rate pathogen. Just get some disinfectant: bleach water and Lysol . Sometimes, a lot of times, my coreligionists make me sick with their ridiculous and/or harmful superstitions
“..flew in a WW2 biplane”? Probably just a relatively elderly crop duster, which–other than stunt flying in airshows–is about all that biplanes have been used for for several decades.
The only combat biplane I know of that was used in WW2 were Italian fighters. A couple of squadrons of them were sent to France in solidarity with Germany during the Battle of Britain. RAF pilots tended to be embarrassed to admit to having shot down one of them, as their top speed was about 250mph, as compared to 300mph for Hurricanes and 360mph for Spitfires.
@12
The priest says he’s not into the tithing, but his companions insist that it’s the whole point.
The bolded part is the only problem I see here. Dude, lock the door! You’re in a public building, where the regulars are encouraged to come in whenever they want!
Mayyybe a case could be made for trespassing (noting the part of the description), but that’s not what he was charged with.
The other guy had the altar burned? Meh, that’s probably the least harm he’s ever done in damage control mode. He probably belongs in jail as an accessory to child abuse.
With the first guy at least the sex was consensual unlike with the predatory pedophiles the second guy defends. Which reminds me did the good people of New Orleans consent to being sprinkled with magic water?
@whheydt #15
There were a fair number of combat biplanes still in service during WWII, even sticking to the major powers:
Germany: Fiat CR.42, (both captured from Italy and new construction post-Italian surrender), Heinkel He 50, Henschel Hs 123
Italy: Fiat CR.32, Fiat CR.42
UK: Fairey Albacore, (entered service in 1940), Fairey Swordfish, Gloster Gauntlet, Gloster Gladiator, (including the famed Faith, Hope and Charity of the Siege of Malta), Vickers Vildebeest
USSR: Polikarpov I-15, Polikarpov R-5
Now, most of these were light or torpedo bombers, (the CR.32/42, the Gladiator and the I-15 being the exceptions) but many smaller nations were still operating biplane fighters in front-line combat well into WWII.
If I was a passerby who happened to see that spectacle unfold before me I would probably start eagerly attending that church!
The priest up top looks really happy. The priest down below not so much. He looks constipated.
Burned the altar? Why? it’s just wood…
Because as long as the church keeps on using it, most of the young men, and a lot of the young women too, will inevitably be laughing (quietly or not) at the sight of it; and the older parishioners will inevitably be repelled and grossed out by the knowledge of what had happened on it, as if it had been permanently infused with essence of perviness from the ex-priest’s sacrilegious acts.