Wear a mask! It increases fornication, homosexuality, and masturbation…through chemistry!
Also, keep in mind that the person who wrote that probably voted. Did you?
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
Simple solution- these people should stop eating. All that food stuff is full of that diabolical carbon. After a few weeks of them not eating, I think the world will be much better.
I’m going to have to see these studies…
I smell a Poe.
To be fair increased mask wearing probably would improve my chances of homosexual sodomy. Anything that prevents people seeing my hideous visage is worth a shot now I’m over 30 and therefore a hideous old crone in gay circles.
Fun fact-you know who else doesn’t breathe? Vampires!
Also, isn’t carbon considered the building block of life? Or one of them, anyway.
OK, did any of that make sense?
What I’m getting is that the chemistry department at Liberty University teaches Phlogiston Theory.
I wasn’t aware that there even is an anti-breathing community.
They probably won’t be around too long though.
And end up where the anti-eating community did.
I’ve got to admit, that was some impressive gibberish.
No mention of isotopes*, nor any explanation why the divine element, oxygen, doesn’t have 7 electrons, protons and neutrons. Alas, that would have been to much self-consistency to ask for, so cherry-picking both nomenclature and numbers it is. Also, six outer shell electrons, isn’t that a warning flag of some sort? Is ozone the devil in disguise?
*I see potential for a billion dollar church-funded particle accelerator or synchrotron that’ll spend some of its time bombarding 12C with neutrons and the rest of the time doing solid science. It shall be called The Redeemer, for it shows us that even the commonest of elements may be forgiven and uplifted into the (X-ray) Light. Amen and close the main breaker switch.
We are carbon based bipeds.
If carbon is 666, the number of the beast, then it doesn’t look like the creator god thought things through very far.
No wonder we are cursed from birth.
Colleague and me recently found the ultimate proof, all conspiracy theorists are correct : What are we supposed to do now to help against spreading aerosols?
Right, we open the windows.
And who invented Windows?
Yeah, it all goes back to Gates…
@13 Giliell
LMAO I like that one!
This is simply a straying away and shirking the holy duties of the True Faith in true chemical free food!
The faithful embrace the mantra, “Give me vacuum or give me nothing”.
Realizing, no vacuum is truly nothing at the Planck scale, due to the permutations of perversion.
Now I want to know what hidden meanings are in “oxycodone.”
Also, in very serious notes: I got a Covid test scheduled for tomorrow, because one of my students tested positive. Now, I should be safe (from that exposure) because I wore an N 95 mask. No, those things aren’t comfy, they get hot as hell, and I have a pretty sore throat from having to raise my voice so much. But my mental health, and that of my colleagues is pretty much mush. We’re all anxious, and we all know that this wasn’t the last kid, and we’re worried about the kid. Please, wear your masks, wear a medical one if you can.
LOL! I wonder how the author of that piece squares that with having been made in his god’s image. 8-)
Giliell @17, my best wishes for your health! Mental and physical.
The solution to carbon dioxide being the mark of the beast and turning people gay is simple: stop burning anything, ever. Turn completely to 100% green energy, nothing that produces any CO2. There, fixed that for them.
And, the spoken truth is that oxygen is an extremely dangerous chemical, responsible for more deaths and injuires than most others. At least two, possibly three, of NASA’s diasaters, were caused by it. It is also responsbile for 100% of house fires, wildfires, etc. 100% oxygen (rather than 21%, as in air) is a neurotoxin, and breathing 100% of the purest element from god will do a lot worse to you than turning you gay, if for some reason you think that’s bad.
So God has chromosomes?
Can we at least use this as an argument against fossil fuels?
Nemo @20 has a much better argument than mine. 8-)
This has to be satire. I refuse to believe otherwise.
I read references to the pineal gland, and have to assume it’s just a reference to the Leech Woman, riffed in season 8 of MST3K
@wzrd1, # 15: Is Nothing sacred?
He should have noted that it’s O – Original Deity Y – Female, Superior (comes before) X (Male) . and Time Cube! Six Sides!
Does this cretin also teach ether physics ? phlogiston ? Or perhaps he’s just an oxy moron.
Wait, so the respiratory cycle is me destroying “double-redemption-Father-origin” to spread a cloud of “mark-of-the-beast-666-double-redemption-Father-origin?”
And it’s only a question of degree, mask or no?
The head spins (even in this properly-oxygenated environment).
I want more of the Numerological-anti-masker Table of Elements!
@ Giliell, # 13:
“Yeah, it all goes back to Gates…”
The Gates….OF HELL! (Damn, a few days too late for Halloween)
I wear a mask and I’m pretty gay, so this checks out
A whole community against making? All hail Shiva the Destroyer!
For @3 and @22′ Fruitbat’s Topical Revision to Clarke’s Third Law:
Any sufficiently advanced satire is indistinguishable from current affairs.
Obviously a POE, he says, hesitantly….
Since when is the word “Oxygen” an acronym? Worst etymology ever
of course it is perfectly logical. You see the trick in understanding what is really going on is recognize the key elements out of all the information that reveal the hidden meanings. You see the best place to hide the truth is in the open amongst data and only those who are gifted can reveal true them
No need for “everything else” to match up that is what “They” want you to think.
uncle frogy
typos are us
@30 etfb
You’re Australian, aren’t you. I thought you were talking about Clarke and Dawe, who I can very much imagine saying that.