I’m more than a little tired of Christmas carols now — to be honest, I was exasperated around Halloween — so I don’t know if changing the lyrics is quite enough. But maybe it will work for you: here’s a gallery of scientific songs of praise, mostly familiar Christmas carols with fresh words.
I think I’ll stick with my usual medley of Nine Inch Nails songs of angst and frustration.
You’re famous now
There’s always the Horrible Histories carols (very much worth listening to, these are not quite the obvious songs!):
● Horrible Histories — O Christmas Tree!
● Horrible Histories — Good King Wenceslas
● Horrible Histories — Silent Night
There’s always A Very Scary Solstice. (Most of the full songs can be found on the ‘tube.)
A Swedish charity has put out an album of Christmas carols by goats. (Available on iTunes and Spotify, apparently.) The inarticulate screaming perfectly matches my mood during the holidays.
fmitchell @ 4:
You should read more:
https://proxy.freethought.online/pharyngula/2015/12/16/a-new-tactic-in-the-war-on-christmas/
Whoa, PZ listens to, and likes, Nine Inch Nails? I’m shocked and appalled! What’s next — my mom torrenting the new Tool album haha?
Christopher Wargo:
Oh yes, such a fuckin’ shock. Those of us who are in their late fifties, did you give a thought, perhaps, as to when we were growing up, what kind of music was popular? I’ll wait while you think that one through.
Rocks? I think they were using two of them by then, albeit if I recall my own childhood correctly, they hadn’t yet mastered the art of banging them together at that time. Which is where the Rolling came from, having yer head played by a Rock sufficiently often or hard, and you do start Rolling…
blf @ 8:
Yep, music with rocks in.
Caine, I think my surprise is warranted. It’s uncommon, but obviously not unheard of. For all I know, he might pop in Black Flag and watch Cannibal Holocaust every Christmas. I’d be just as surprised.
What, you’d be surprised that I’d listen to an anti-authoritarian hard core punk band led by an atheist that formed while I was in my college years?
Welp, I wonder if Netflix has any reruns of the old Lawrence Welk show.
Christopher Wargo @ 10:
No, it isn’t. You don’t seem to take a hint, so perhaps a building – PZ and I grew up with burgeoning rock ‘n’ roll, punk (the authentic deal) and more. All you’re doing at this point is confirming that you aren’t terribly fuckin’ bright.
PZ:
Well, as long as it’s this one.
I tend to escape the inanity of Christmas carols with the Bob Rivers versions. “Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire”, the What’s-it-to-ya course, and “Yellow Snow, Yellow Snow, Yellow Snow” for example.
Let’s not forget “A Very Scary Solstice”, carols reimagined by the HP Lovecraft Historical Society:
http://www.cthulhulives.org/solstice/
Idiot students and grading of papers,
Getting the snow off my car with ice scrapers,
The carols while shopping that this season brings,
These are a few of my least favorite things.
Big crowds at Walmart and Black Friday fighting,
Family feuding and Christmas card writing,
Standing in line to send gifts through the post,
These are a few of the things I hate most!
That reminds me; I haven’t listened to either “A Very Scary Solstice” or “An Even Scarier Solstice,” nor have I even hung up the tentacle stocking that came with the pair… I wonder what sort of havoc would arise if I played a random mix of those two albums and some Jingle Cats?
I’ve just found out about the bestest local Christmas attraction, and it’s just up the hill from me too:
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-12-22/corpse-flower-at-mount-lofty-botanic-garden/7047088
Re: Wargo, Caine, and PZ @various
I’m not sure why anyone should be surprised. I’m closing in on 40 and my father has seen NIN in concert almost as many times as I have.
If The Downward Spiral was a US citizen, it would be old enough to drink by now.
And of course lyrics like
“YOUR GOD IS DEAD
AND NO ONE CARES
IF THERE IS A HELL
I’LL SEE YOU THERE”
are quite cheery to all us soulless chaos entities.
I recommend Tull’s Solstice Bells, to keep with the secular sense we (royal ‘we’, that is) prefer.
Admittedly, suggestion sort of inspired by recent OP by PZ about bells ringing 24/7 obnoxiously.
I promise, Tull don’t do them that way.
Solstice Bells, J. Tull