As WC Fields said ‘I never drink water. Fish fuck in it’
These six fish were just thinking about it or the bolts would be closer together.
Unless there were twelve fish involved, or more, or maybe they were the same secks and wanted to get married.
Those were very naughty fish. Probably worked on a Sunday. Tsk-tsk.
sqlrobsays
OK, so go slightly serious, what would happen to fish where these things hit?
Cars are safe because they’re metal and it gets conducted around. Does the current here dissipate at the surface, spreading out? How deep does something have to be to have a reasonable chance of surviving?
robinjohnsonsays
Maybe they committed a mortal fin.
Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trollssays
Given the erratic aim of deities, weren’t those six fish in another ocean?
twas brillig (stevem)says
<whispering to self>Where, & when, was this photo taken? Was it timelapse of several strikes, or a single strike of six bolts simultaneous?</whispering>
Odin has such poor aim with his lighnin bolts, I bet the targets were on the beach and the poor fishes were “collateral damage”. ;-(
Awesome pic, regardless. ;-)
Nick Gottssays
Maybe they committed a mortal fin. – robinjohnson
Or they were weighed in the scales and found wanted.
These six fish were just thinking about it or the bolts would be closer together.
Unless there were twelve fish involved, or more, or maybe they were the same secks and wanted to get married.
You’re all wrong. It wasn’t God smiting fish. He was smiting yet more of those evil children commandos trying to sneak into his favoured nation. You know, just like those ones the right wingers are currently so upset about, because they’re going to help Obama get elected to a third term and give everyone Butts Disease.
Louissays
Everything has a porpoise? Fucking teleolostogy, chum.
It was only 5 fish. The 6th bolt accidentally hit a dolphin.
Louissays
I love a pun cascade. I’m gurnard into this one. Although, I do admit this issue cod be divisive. Salmon one side of the issue, salmon the other. It can be a hard roe to hoe. Some people milt into the background, others are like rays.
Louis
mykroftsays
He wasn’t targeting any fish in particular. He just did it for the halibut.
dobbysays
Is ichthyology a fish religion?
mykroftsays
@22: Yes, it’s just ickier than most of them.
Randomfactorsays
You’ve got the wrong god and the wrong vector.
The valiant Ghotibusters prepare to save us from Grouper the Grouparian all by crossing the Gulf Streams.
(Remember, if someone asks you if you’re a cod, you’re a cod!)
mykroftsays
Cod damn, kids, keep off of my lawn!
Louissays
Okay Randomfactor, you’ve have just won every internet I can ship to you in a reasonable time frame.
Louis
Doug Littlesays
There must of not been any touchdown Jesus in the vicinity.
Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish, he’ll eat for a lifetime.
Teach a man to pray, he’ll starve to death waiting for this to happen.
Silisays
Odin has such poor aim with his lighnin bolts, I bet the targets were on the beach and the poor fishes were “collateral damage”. ;-(
Thor.
Silisays
The valiant Ghotibusters prepare to save us from Grouper the Grouparian all by crossing the Gulf Streams.
You ought to have worked a “There is no Danio” in there.
Amphioxsays
re #33;
That’s probably why the aim was so bad. Thor would have HIT his targets. Odin was just borrowing the lightning bolts (as King of the Gods, he has that prerogative). But not only does he lack practice, he has no depth perception, having given up one eye in exchange for wisdom about something or another a long time ago….
Crimson Clupeidaesays
Since I can’t find a way to work my name into this (great) list of puns, I’m just going to leave this here. Best fish related song evar (even better than Fish-Heads!).
You evil bastard. Have you ever tried to laugh your balls off with a couple of cracked ribs? Ouch! Think I almost dislodged a kidney as well.
Al Dentesays
You’re all assuming those lightning bolts had a porpoise. God might have done it for the halibut. You’re supposed to be skeptics, not falling hook, line and sinker for any crappy old clam which comes down the pike.
JohnnieCanucksays
SQL Rob @3
Electrofishing relies on inducing a current between electrodes in the water. For the right level of current, the fish will be temporarily stunned and rise to the surface Sometimes pulsed DC current is used to cause muscle contractions (galvanotaxis) that force the fish to swim towards the anode.
Fisheries biologists use it to survey fish populations. I have seen the result of inexperienced operators cranking the current too high. The muscle contraction is so strong that it breaks the spine. Not good when it is an endangered species to start with.
I would expect that there would be a dead zone surrounding each strike and a stun zone beyond that. How big and how deep would depend on things like salinity.
cicelysays
sqlrob:
OK, so go slightly serious, what would happen to fish where these things hit?
For AD&D porpoises purposes, a Lightning Bolt cast on the water has a hemispherical area-of-effect as if it were a Fireball of the same level, and for the same damage (with the radius defined as where the stroke contacts the water, and propagating below the surface); whereas a Lightning Bolt cast under the water has a spherical area-of-effect as if it were a Fireball of the same level and for the same damage, but centered on the caster. Underwater casting also involves something along the lines of an Airy Water or Water Breathing spell or device.
Clearly, rather more than 6 fish were completely fucked, unless they had some gawdawful hit points, and/or electrical resistance, and/or a natural twenty on their saving throws.
Some sort of Divine Favor wouldn’t hurt, either. Poseidon’s, say.
–
As WC Fields said ‘I never drink water. Fish fuck in it’
These six fish were just thinking about it or the bolts would be closer together.
Unless there were twelve fish involved, or more, or maybe they were the same secks and wanted to get married.
Those were very naughty fish. Probably worked on a Sunday. Tsk-tsk.
OK, so go slightly serious, what would happen to fish where these things hit?
Cars are safe because they’re metal and it gets conducted around. Does the current here dissipate at the surface, spreading out? How deep does something have to be to have a reasonable chance of surviving?
Maybe they committed a mortal fin.
Given the erratic aim of deities, weren’t those six fish in another ocean?
<whispering to self>Where, & when, was this photo taken? Was it timelapse of several strikes, or a single strike of six bolts simultaneous?</whispering>
Odin has such poor aim with his lighnin bolts, I bet the targets were on the beach and the poor fishes were “collateral damage”. ;-(
Awesome pic, regardless. ;-)
Or they were weighed in the scales and found wanted.
And all the other fish went of TV to say how they thanked god for not zapping them!
(Fox news at…pretty-much any time)
went of
I WANNA EDIT FUNCTION—WAAAAA!!!!1!
Efishent smiting.
The others have now been schooled.
You’re all wrong. It wasn’t God smiting fish. He was smiting yet more of those evil children commandos trying to sneak into his favoured nation. You know, just like those ones the right wingers are currently so upset about, because they’re going to help Obama get elected to a third term and give everyone Butts Disease.
Everything has a porpoise? Fucking teleolostogy, chum.
Louis
ARSES! Teleostology.
I can has typos?
Louis
It’s “teleoLOLostogy”, I think.
Shouldn’t the title be “Behold the Wrath of Cod”?
/floundering around
Holy Mackerel, Batman!
Hey, everyone, what’s going on-
*looks around, sees the incipient punstorm*
I’ll just let myself trout.
It was only 5 fish. The 6th bolt accidentally hit a dolphin.
I love a pun cascade. I’m gurnard into this one. Although, I do admit this issue cod be divisive. Salmon one side of the issue, salmon the other. It can be a hard roe to hoe. Some people milt into the background, others are like rays.
Louis
He wasn’t targeting any fish in particular. He just did it for the halibut.
Is ichthyology a fish religion?
@22: Yes, it’s just ickier than most of them.
You’ve got the wrong god and the wrong vector.
The valiant Ghotibusters prepare to save us from Grouper the Grouparian all by crossing the Gulf Streams.
(Remember, if someone asks you if you’re a cod, you’re a cod!)
Cod damn, kids, keep off of my lawn!
Okay Randomfactor, you’ve have just won every internet I can ship to you in a reasonable time frame.
Louis
There must of not been any touchdown Jesus in the vicinity.
GAWD is a fish-hating figment?
He doesn’t give a carp about the fish. He was just being flashy.
The best I got is “Perciform Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief”
Someone is still making cars out of metal?
Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish, he’ll eat for a lifetime.
Teach a man to pray, he’ll starve to death waiting for this to happen.
Thor.
You ought to have worked a “There is no Danio” in there.
re #33;
That’s probably why the aim was so bad. Thor would have HIT his targets. Odin was just borrowing the lightning bolts (as King of the Gods, he has that prerogative). But not only does he lack practice, he has no depth perception, having given up one eye in exchange for wisdom about something or another a long time ago….
Since I can’t find a way to work my name into this (great) list of puns, I’m just going to leave this here. Best fish related song evar (even better than Fish-Heads!).
Wet Dream
Knowing God, he probably hit all the innocent bystanders.
Bless their soles.
God was clearly punishing them for being shellfish.
Twas brillig (stevem) #6:
It is a single, long exposure registering several consecutive bolts.
You evil bastard. Have you ever tried to laugh your balls off with a couple of cracked ribs? Ouch! Think I almost dislodged a kidney as well.
You’re all assuming those lightning bolts had a porpoise. God might have done it for the halibut. You’re supposed to be skeptics, not falling hook, line and sinker for any crappy old clam which comes down the pike.
SQL Rob @3
Electrofishing relies on inducing a current between electrodes in the water. For the right level of current, the fish will be temporarily stunned and rise to the surface Sometimes pulsed DC current is used to cause muscle contractions (galvanotaxis) that force the fish to swim towards the anode.
Fisheries biologists use it to survey fish populations. I have seen the result of inexperienced operators cranking the current too high. The muscle contraction is so strong that it breaks the spine. Not good when it is an endangered species to start with.
I would expect that there would be a dead zone surrounding each strike and a stun zone beyond that. How big and how deep would depend on things like salinity.
sqlrob:
For AD&D
porpoisespurposes, a Lightning Bolt cast on the water has a hemispherical area-of-effect as if it were a Fireball of the same level, and for the same damage (with the radius defined as where the stroke contacts the water, and propagating below the surface); whereas a Lightning Bolt cast under the water has a spherical area-of-effect as if it were a Fireball of the same level and for the same damage, but centered on the caster. Underwater casting also involves something along the lines of an Airy Water or Water Breathing spell or device.Clearly, rather more than 6 fish were completely fucked, unless they had some gawdawful hit points, and/or electrical resistance, and/or a natural twenty on their saving throws.
Some sort of Divine Favor wouldn’t hurt, either. Poseidon’s, say.
–
That’s just Zeus showing Poseidon how it’s done.