In short, I was able to see the beauty of science with my own two eyes from a very early age.
My father loves science. Accordingly, when I was a 4 year old afraid of an earthquake he taught me about plate tectonics. I spent hours asking him questions about the universe when my mother was at work on the weekends, and I was gifted my first telescope at the age of 7.
So when the bible teacher (in a public primary school I might add!) told us that earthquakes were created by god when I was 8 years old, I immediately realised religion was a fraud. It’s lucky I did, because I later discovered that I was a lesbian. Who knows how much pain and repression I would have suffered if I had allowed that bible teacher to brainwash me!
Beth (the very happy lesbian)
New Zealand
'Tis Himself, OM says
The nonsense that goddists spew about natural phenomena is quite amazing.
But it seems like you have a good father. That certainly contributes to happiness.
felixhoefert says
Obviously, you chose to be a Lesbian because you hated God and wanted to become part of the group that forces God to make earthquakes in the first place. Being “very happy” while God sends one earthquake after the other to remind you of who’s in charge proves what a depraved and evil person you are. /fundie asshole
I will never get how someone can seriously write stuff like the above and live with himself.
kevinalexander says
Brainwash is one of my favourite ironic expressions. Washing is about making something clean. How is that accomplished by pouring shit into it?
Didaktylos says
It does pay quite well if you can findthe right situation – but I’d sooner do something ethically superior – like being a pimp or arms dealer.
humanape says
Beth’s story shows that science education at the youngest possible age is the best defense against religious indoctrination. In America since most children are not as lucky as Beth to have a parent who loves science, our public schools need to start teaching science including evolution in First Grade. And there must be a law that requires young students sent to religious schools to learn about science from a qualified non-religious teacher.
Better yet religious schools should be illegal because it’s immoral to mentally abuse innocent children. It’s impossible for a government to protect children from their idiot parents but it should be possible to protect children from professionals who have made brainwashing children their career.
Louis says
The very happy lesbian? I love you for writing that! Mainly because three comedy responses immediately entered my warped little mind.
1) The Very Happy Lesbian: a great book for children.
2) The Very Happy Lesbian: I have a film about that…
3) The Very Happy Lesbian: Oh yeah how happy? ;-)
Louis
P.S. I am happy that you are happy. Very happy. Woot!
golkarian says
The funny thing about the Bible being directed at men, is that lesbianism isn’t explicitly forbidden, only male homosexuality.
Alethea H. Claw says
Short and sweet; nice one.
@golkarian, there is a weird bit in the NT in which lesbianism is a punishment from god. Very odd.
fly44d says
Good one Beth!
=8)-DX says
It’s so nice to realise that there is an advantage to losing one’s religious bigotry. Reading: “Beth (the very happy lesbian)” made me suddenly all warm and fuzzy inside =D
Azuma Hazuki says
@10
Eeee, me too :) Congratulations, Beth! I hope you and your wife/girlfriend (if you have one at the moment) have a lifetime of happiness together!