A few people have noted in the comments that Conservapædia’s hot new front page topic is “Atheism and Obesity” — we’re all supposed to be humongous wobbling lardasses, as if that is some kind of rational argument against an intellectual position (“you’re fat!” kind of shot its bolt in grade school, and really doesn’t weigh heavily in a debate beyond that). The poster boy for stupid atheist fatsos, unfortunately, is me.

Poor, poor pitiful me. I’m crying tears of self-pity right now.

Rebecca Watson has a reply to that nonsense, and she noticed that I’ve lost a few pounds lately (so…Rebecca was checking me out, hmmmm?), so comes to the only logical conservapædian conclusion: I must be converting to Christianity. I’m so surprised!

I think that’s a great rallying cry for atheism: We have cookies & booze & lesbians! I’m afraid it won’t entice me back into the fold, however: cookies aren’t on my diet at all, I’m limiting myself to at most one beer a night, and why would lesbians, sweet as they are, have any special appeal to me? I’m only into heterosexual women (actually, woman) for obvious reasons.

So sorry. I guess I’m going to have to continue my backsliding. If ever I show up at a talk skinny and raillike, you’ll know I’ve become a fundamentalist. And if I gain any more weight, why, I must have become a lesbian.