I thought I’d stumbled onto FSTDT, but no…it’s a collection of quotes from the Texas board of education collected over the last year. At least I learned that Don McLeroy is an honest man.
Am I a religious fanatic? Absolutely. You’d have to be to do what I do.
“What kind of monster parents teach their children that they’re descended from rodents and reptiles?”
– Robert Bowie Johnson Jr., writing in his book Sowing Atheism: The National Academy of Sciences’ Sinister Scheme to Teach Our Children They’re Descended from Reptiles, which Texas State Board of Education Chairman Don McLeroy heartily endorsed. TFN Insider, March 18, 2009
What kind of monster parents teach their children that there’s a jealous, vindictive sky-man who needs your attention or will make you burn for an eternity?
I say that with tongue-in-cheek of course. My parents raised me as a liberal Christian and were far from monsters.
Fortunately, I gave God the pink slip.
Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!
My heads hurts after reading so many non sequiturs and misrepresentations of scientific principles.
I feel more ashamed to live in Texas every time I see one of these things. I promise that there are rational people in this state. They are, however, a minority.
HA. Anyway, I pissed Markuze off bad with the whole mayoral campaign thing, and now he is commenting on my blog that I am not even starting till next week! ( http://darwinsbulldog.wordpress.com/2009/12/15/hello-world/ )
LOL
Tim Smith:
Exactly. America’s children need to know about Unkulunkulu,the Zulu creator god, and about how he ascended from the reeds and created the mountains and the trees and…
What? Oh.
We guess Smith must have been talking about the other side of the coin.
Clearly. Furthermore, quantum variations affecting space-time flux in the presence of atmospheric plasma-discharges made it possible for snakes to talk.
Um…what?
My favorite: “Personally, I don’t believe in evolution. I don’t believe I came from a salamander that came out of a pond.” In his case it was looks that were deceiving.
It has gotten almost fun to watch these cretins continue to dig themselves into deeper and deeper holes of fantasy and silliness. I think most of the people who respond to polls and say they believe in the biblical accounts of creation deep down really don’t have that much conviction about those beliefs. They just “want” to beleive it even though they realize the evidence is against them. It is bozos like these that are probably doing more to make the more mainstream believers reevaluate what they really believe. Maybe the clowns quoted here are doing more good to the side of reason and rationality then any arguements we can make.
God, even the people in the comments are dum:
This person was replying to someone else:
This is why I don’t think that just ring-wing nuts are stupid.
I wonder why that is…
Oh, but of course! Schoolchildren who rank better in science education are from nations where creationism is taught in the science class! Obviously.
*headdesk*
*right-wing
ring-wing? Ah, my abilities with language are showing.
Damn, no way my irony meter is making it through all that.
OK, it’s time for a Constitutional Amendment:
To be admitted to the Union, a Territory must demonstrate that its population has, on average, an IQ of 50 or above. Any State whose population has an IQ below 50 will be reduced to Territorial Status until said average IQ reaches 50 or above. Territories must pay taxes (double taxes for educational matters) but cannot vote in Congress.
Well, that’s refreshingly honest. Now if we can just get people to realize being a religious fanatic is NOT a good thing.
Chuck
http://www.irreligiosophy.com
“When the Universe was smaller, the gravitational effect was huge and the time on Earth would have been a billion times slower.”
Wow. My brain just went rabbiting off in about five different directions trying to parse how he think that works.
Does he think the earth turned slower? (Which is funny because it’s my understanding that it’s been getting slower, not faster.)
Does he think that TIME itself was stretched out?
Is he buying into a Big Bang cosmological theory, and how does that work with young earth creationism?
Does that mean the theory of evolution and his version of creationism are divided merely by semantics?
WTF, dude. WTF.
Let them know what killed you
Instead of the 10 Commandments, we should etch these quotes onto stone tablets and place them outside the state capital.
When future civilizations excavate the site, they’ll know why ours went extinct.
-S
I like the gist. I would try and make it a little less draconian. Leave the union in tact. Tie performance to their electoral collage votes and their seats in both houses. Create a national science standard that all students must test at. If a particular state fails to meet the minimum standard, they forfeit their electoral votes and congress/senate votes for 3 months – at which point in time they can try again.
It just occurred to me after rereading that – we’re (USA) probably fucked.
@#6,
Ohhh! That’s what made snakes to talk?!! Thanks.
It must have slipped those people’s minds that the Christian creation myth is just a fucking Bronze Age fairy tale…
All snakes could talk back in the good ole days during creation. People were almost akin to angels. The problem is that it’s impossible for a mutation to add information, so we’re all a lot stupider now.
There’s some yellow schmoes in Texas
That make hash of our schools,
This state’s become the nexus
Of panderers and fools;
If you think your education
Will be worth half a dime,
Well, with luck you’ll get salvation
If you graduate on time!
Oh, the yellow schmoes of Texas,
Their chairman’s out for blood;
They’re all as bright as lampblack,
They sparkle like the mud;
You can talk about Chris Hitchens
And Rich Dawkins’ ilk as well,
But this poor, sad state is hitchin’
A handbasket straight to Hell.
Yikes, that is a whole Texas-sized lot of stupid right there.
Heh heh heh. This:
Well, neither do I. The evolution bit is spot on, but our last common ancestor wasn’t a salamander by any stretch of the imagination… unless you’re thinking it was Ray Comfort.
And hey, badgersdaughter, keep em’ comin’. It’s nice to have more than one Cuttlefish in the same pond. It’s a big pond.
Wait a minute….[b]These kind of people are to decide on the upcoming curriculum for your kids in the US of A???[/b]
The hell?!?
(flutters eyelashes) Oh, no, not in the same breath. He’s my inspiration.
And since I’m a Texas resident, I had more motive than most to mock the Board…
Damn. Would be nice to be able to edit one’s comments… what I meant to say is… (with all due respect to our resident Cuttlefish):
“It’s a big evolutionary pond we got ourselves here.”
Have a nice, secular, holiday season, y’all.
I hear it’s actually an Iron Age fairy tale….:-)
Rorschach @ # 29: I hear it’s actually an Iron Age fairy tale…
It was the Iron Age for the Canaanites, but Yahweh had held the Hebrews back a grade, and they were still working their way through the Bronze Age (see Judges 1:19).
This is extremely embarrassing for US, how come people there don’t pay any attention on who gets on these education boards?
Most board of education members are elected. As such, actually being qualified to do the job has little to nothing to do with who gets it.
I live in Houston. Yeah, it’s embarrassing as hell, actually. There’s a lot of bad here; there’s a lot of good here. But damn, when it came time to elect the school board members, I would rather have written in Mr. Magoo, Darth Vader, Severus Snape… at least that last character was a qualified teacher.
But ignorance is bliss around here. The oil cowboys, and those who aspire to be them or to be like them, pretend it is a sign of superiority. I never could break my old boss of saying “Sen Flippy” for the road our office building was on (it’s San Felipe, for Pete’s sake). He got mad one afternoon and asked me if I really, honestly expected him to talk like he just swam over the border. Jerk.
I’m in Texas too. Not close enough to Houston, although I know a place in The Woodlands I can drive to if I get a hankering for crusty bread…Texans fear crusty bread only slightly less than Darwinists (whoeverthehell they are). Shout out to TFN, though. They did a terrific job publicizing the debate and outing McLeroy for the porphyritic granitoid that he is. There are some “sanies” down here.
Yes, there are. Even the not-really-sane types couldn’t deal with McLeroy once TFN outed some of his more ridiculous nonsense. BTW one of the more gretendous fundies on the board is not running for re-election. Her name escapes me (I may have repressed it), but I do know she thought everyone should home school their kids and said so publicly.
Yet, in a way I don’t mind them as much as I do the so-called Democrat from San Antonio who tried to waffle his way through the whole process, apparently in an effort not to offend any potential voters. He failed. I will be voting for him next time only if the only other candidate is Ken Hamm.
Isn’t that equal to child neglect ?? How can you show that you are capable of educating children? Do you have to study teaching to do so? It is difficult enough to pay for a living, but how can you keep up with that responsibility and the same time teach your child on the same level as a child in school ? (~4-8 hours a day, depending on age)
Well, as a regular visitor to FSTDT myself, the quotes don’t really surprise me. I see this stuff on a daily basis. Thanks for the plug though, PZ. ^_^
Haven’t you heard? Being responsible for making decisions concerning your children automatically makes you the most qualified to do so.
@ tsg
Aehm…that hardly makes sense to me !?
If you don’t know calculus your kids will never learn it. And even if you could, maybe you can’t explain it as well as the person who does explain calculus every day in order to make a living.
Unless you can also provide your kids a job in your own family business later on, homeschooling seems kind of harsh on your offspring’s future to me.
@Yubal
I was being facetious. There is a common misconception that simply being responsible for a child is the same as knowing the best way to take care of one.
Frankly, with occasional exceptions, I think it does approach child abuse. Many home schooled kids are reasonably well-educated (though often with gaping holes in the science curriculum), I must say. Not everyone who home schools is a religious nut case. Many want to protect their kids from what they perceive as the ills of public or even private schools.
The trouble is that more education goes on in schools than the official curriculum. How can a home schooled kid figure out how to handle the fact that, as J. R. (Bob) Dobbs so rightly noted, as dumb as the average person is, half of them are even dumber than that? And that most definitely includes teachers and goes double for school administrators. Where else can you learn to deal with bureaucratic bullshit? Where else can you learn not to blow a gasket when people are so concerned about appearances and any semblance to an actual function is hounded out and beaten to death with sticks? How else will they learn that people who demand respect don’t deserve it? Where will they get experience with people who talk about how much they “care” about kids but who actually actively despise them? How else will they notice that the ones who get things done, who actually do care, and who are very, very good at their jobs are mistreated and run over by hacks?
Where, in short (I know, too late…) will they learn how to get along in society? Schools are just like real life, except with worse food. We all have to learn to function in these settings and schools are excellent training grounds.
Oh sweet Jebus. I have a niece and a nephew in Texas. Luckily they’re currently in a Montessori school precisely because their parents want to avoid exposing them to this level of stupid, but still…
*face palm*
lttl sh*t pz thnks h cn dbnk Gd..
y r gng t b trtrd nd mrdrd wtht mrcy…
Lks lk yr wbst s ndr ttck frm sprntrl frcs…
http://dyn.pltc.cm/mmbrs/frms/thrd.cfm?ctd=2&sbctd=7&thrdd=3449994
y rlly nd t dd cmmnt mdrtn t yr blsphmy…
Re: soon-to-be-banned-again troll #43
5…4…3…2…1… We have asshole!!!!!
I repeat: deluded, violent asshole!
Texas. [/spit]
Not in the 12 year curriculum: Einstein, Newton, Copernicus, M. Curie, Pythagoras
Non-Texans that can be taught: Billy Graham, Phyllis Schlafly, Sam Walton.
Foggg,
Shit. I don’t know what else to say. I learned about all those figures; I learned a lot in my public school education right here in Texas, and I had a brief encounter with a Baptist private school, from which I extracted myself the moment they tried to deny evolustion. My high school biology teacher slipped in an anti-evolution agenda whenever he got the chance, and I understand the TSBOE has been creating more chances, but Einstein? Newton? Jesus Christ. I think it’s time to get out of here if we’re going to be raising such ignorant monsters.
evolustion. it’s nearly 3AM. forgive me. clearly it’s past my bedtime.
I’m a religious fanatic too, for exactly the same reason.
# 43
“little sh*t pz thinks he can debunk God..”
Nah! not just PZ, we can all debunk God and do so with pride and regularity, tis indeed your god that is a little sh*t that requires a vigorous flushing from the system like a sticky and smelly turd by any other name!
It is just as easy to dismiss wishful and fraudulent thinking as figment…and that is all your delusion is!
Is that blasphemous and debunking sufficient to indicate to you that your dog has no influence here?
“you are going to be tortured and murdered without mercy…”
Aww!…how cute? xian love and its finest how very kind.
‘Looks like your website is under attack from supernatural forces…’
Or rather mundane xian trolls with very little brain and no ‘real’ point to contribute.
“Atheism is dead”
You wish, but it is not so, in fact atheism is becoming more the norm although it still has a fair way to travel.
There seem to be so many issues with IQ in society that it will take a while to eradicate supernatural stupidity, but it will happen, theism is dying a lingering death and is jerking reactionary and bitter twitches in its death throes!
“you really need to add comment moderation to your blasphemy…”
Now that is a point then we would not have to be bored by righteous prigs that are fairy story lovers at an inordinate.. and to be quite honest…an inappropriate age!
NixNoctua@#7
It took me a few attempts to make sense of too but I think he means “What do evolution-believing (as opposed to True, Believing) Christians do at church?! Get up and celebrate the fact that the Bible is full of lies?!!!one”
@43: Of course PZ can’t debunk God. People have been trying since ancient Greece and yet he remains bunk.
Reading the crap that people want to foist on US students, I am ever grateful I attended school in Australia.
Actually, I spent 13 years at an Anglican Girls’ School, but it was far more interested in strong academic performance–particularly in the sciences–than religion, and creationism was never ever mentioned.
The level of ignorance and hatred of knowledge on display is awful, yet I’m really not surprised that some crazy Xtian fundies understand so little about evolution. I feel sad for them though, since most were mentally tortured so badly as children, that even reading about evolution or anything ‘heretical’ can create a fear of an eternity of unbelievable torment from their ever loving deity.
And I see that ‘atheismisdead’ is back, and the ‘spiritual forces’ that he was warning us about are still attacking his vowels. The ‘spiritual forces’ aren’t attacking anything else here though, so I guess whatever spirit it may be, it hates stupidity as much as we do!
No Gods, No Masters
Cameron
The very first quote in the list is: “Jeffrey Dahmer believed in evolution.” Wasn’t Dahmer’s father a big cheese creationist with many publications in the creo “literature”?
my not too bright youngest sister lives in texas and I found out last thanksgiving ago that she is homeschooling her 2 pre-teen kids. she was talking about how the parents meet at church and get their teaching material. she was glowing about how much she was learning in the process.
she’s learning elementary level info…? fuck me.
I didn’t know what to say. my brother just rolled his eyes.
@54: Would it really matter? Dahmer was a sociopath. Let’s not play the guilt by association game, it’s stupid.
@otrame, #35. Her name is Cynthia Noland Dunbar, and she makes Sarah Palin sound like Hillary Clinton. She wrote a book entitled “One Nation Under God” in which she rails against the “tyranny” of public education. She is a true wack-a-loon, and as far as I know is still on the SBOE. McLeroy has been demoted from the chair position, but is also still a member.
But you say “I don’t live in Texas. Why should I care?” The Texas SBOE makes decisions on textbook adoption, and ALL of the “Independent” school districts use the same text. Because TX is the second most populous state, textbook publishers cater to TX SBOE curriculum and standards. In effect, TX standards become national textbook standards. How you like them apples?
I guess if you don’t live in the US, you have nothing to worry about. Until, of course, we elect an idiot to the Presidency and he/she reckons that your nation is not right with God. In which case you are fucked.