We had summer thunderstorms and a tornado touchdown in Minneapolis yesterday, and the convention center was slightly damaged. At the same time, the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America was having their national convention there. You know what this means?

God hates Christians. Repent!

No, wait, that can never be what an omen means. We already have prophets stirring the tea leaves and interpreting the event. It seems, if you look at the conference schedule, that the liberal Lutherans were contemplating making some friendly statements about their gay congregants, so obviously this was an example of gentle smiting of sodomites.

Of course, also on the schedule were bible study and hymn singing — god hates “Onward Christian Soldiers”. And a middle school in North Branch — god hates education. It knocked down many trees — god hates elms.

Oh, well. I know one thing. I hate pretentious gomers who use natural disasters to promote their goofy belief in a whimsical deity.