A conspiracy to undermine atheism!


We’re in big trouble now. A think tank is gearing up to take on all those uppity atheists, and they have a cunning plan that cannot fail, which will strip us of one of the most important tools in our arsenal. They have found Russell’s Teapot, and are planning to put it into space.

We are logically doomed.

Comments

  1. Ale says

    100% Poe. Take for instance this gem:

    We have every hope to emulate our successful approach towards Darwinian evolution (described as “breathtaking” by liberal activist Judge Jones at Dover) in disciplines such as physics, geology and chemistry.

    Surely referring to:

    Jones decried the “breathtaking inanity” of the Dover policy and accused several board members of lying to conceal their true motive, which he said was to promote religion.

  2. DiscoveredJoys says

    I like a good spoof – but they are very silly boys. Using the principles of Relativity they could use a telescope orbiting in space to view a teapot on earth to confirm the existence of God(s).

    So if anyone has an uncle or aunt working in the Hubble mission, plus a big parking lot to place the teapot in… I guess this will be called the Woodwedge mission.

    I’ve often wanted to give the Disco Tute a Wedgie.

  3. Snitzels says

    I think we should launch something much smaller than a teapot next time, say a needle, and let them search for that… keep them busy for a while.

  4. aiabx says

    I consider this proof of the existence of extra physical dimensions. Only an 18-dimensional universe would allow them to miss the point that badly.

  5. says

    Silly Institute of Discovery. This teapot would orbit the Earth not the Sun. It’s orbit of the Sun would have epicycles instead of being purely elliptical, and it wouldn’t always be between the Earth and Mars. xD

  6. dcwp says

    Too funny. You had me going for a minute. It took a couple of ‘graphs before Poe smacked me upside the humor gland.

  7. MPG says

    Hee! Very amusing. That made my lunctime!

    Though from what I understand, the HST is incapable of looking clearly at objects in our own solar system, much less a Wedgwood teapot dangled mere inches in front of it (so it can’t see, say, the Apollo landing sites on the moon because it’s too close). It is designed for deep space observation after all. I’m afraid I would have to demand more concrete evidence than the large white blur in the middle of the frame that would be the inevitable result of their fiendish plot. Why, that could be anything!

  8. bernarda says

    For Stupid on youtube, you should see these videos, “A Course in Miracles”. They like to put forward supposed non-believers that “converted”. More inane would be hard to find.

  9. Mobius says

    Sadly, the “logic” that the Discovery Institute uses for its argument are just about as convoluted and illogical as that presented in this spoof.

  10. says

    Since I can’t post my objection on their site and no way I’m signing up for a google account, here gooes:
    Hold on, but then you would also have to deal with all the splintergroups, the Reformed Movement of Russel’s Ming Dynasty Teapot, the Born Again Teapot worshippers of Russel’s Cousin Frank, the polytheistic church of Russel’s Crockery, there’s even a cult suggesting that the Teapot isn’t a teapot at all but a perculator, one that has been building up pressure for decades now and will explode according to a Mayan calender in the year 2012 and turn the Sun into a nova thus setting in motion a chainreaction that will change Jupiter into a sun, thus making Europa the promised land. What about these and the many other varieties? You can’t prove or disprove them all! They can’t all be right or wrong! You can’t ever stop people from believing in the Teapot, it would be illogical and immoral! Think of the children for Teapot’s sake!

  11. Richard Harris says

    Feckin’ edjits! It wouldn’t be Russell’s Teapot, it would be someone else’s.

    But it long ago occured to me that as imaging technology improved, it might become possible to detect a Russell’s Teapot, were such to exist. That does flaw the Russell’s Teapot analogy. But so what?

  12. SteveM says

    Couldn’t we just move our own goalposts? Seems fair. Instead of a teapot, how about a thimble in orbit around Neptune?

  13. amphiox says

    As detection technology improves, perhaps it might become possible to actually detect god. Of course, the moment that happens, the subject of “god” becomes one of science, and religion would be screwed.

  14. freelunch says

    As detection technology improves, perhaps it might become possible to actually detect god. Of course, the moment that happens, the subject of “god” becomes one of science, and religion would be screwed.

    So, religion loses either way. Eventually there will be enough Americans who can think clearly, eventually, but I’ll likely be dead.

  15. says

    I’m with StevenM, but instead of a thimble around Neptune, I want a coffee-machine around Mars. That way, if it’s ever found, at least we’ll have a coffee.

  16. uncle noel says

    I think the Hubble may need some adjustment to focus that close. Perhaps bifocals – I mean, it is getting on in years. Otherwise, the logic is impeccable.

  17. says

    Off-topic and less humorous: Jeff Medkeff (he who named asteroid paulmyers) has written an informative post about the device which John Freshwater reportedly used to burn a cross into a student’s arm.

    It is basically a Tesla coil, packaged up in a nice, convenient flashlight-like enclosure. […] I have used this device instructionally, and in a moment of carelessness, I once burned myself with one. My forearm made contact with the electrode of the device for about half or three-quarters of a second – this necessarily being an estimate. This experience wasn’t too painful at the time, on the order of getting a good strong static shock after shuffling your feet on the carpets. But it did leave one hell of a welt that got more and more painful over the course of the next three or four days. My recollection is that the small wound stayed painful for a week or so. Eventually the welt that was raised went down, scabbed over, and after about two weeks, the scab fell off. I had a red mark that persisted for about two or three months. It was by no means a pleasant experience.

    The Columbus Dispatch identified the device as a BD-10A High Frequency Generator manufactured by Electro-Technic Products.

  18. mac says

    I wasn’t quite sure this was satire ’til I read “[t]he Hubble Space Telescope is widely recognized as being one of the most successful projects in the NASA’s history.”
    After that, I was sure.

  19. Colwyn Abernathy says

    There’s no need to fear…Sagan’s Dragon in My Garage is here!

    I think…he’s invisible, donchaknow. ;)

  20. jimmiraybob says

    A think tank is gearing up to take on all those uppity atheists suck as much wealth out of as many rubes as possible,…

    Fixed

  21. AndyD says

    I can’t post at the other site but I’m deeply concerned. They seem intent on using NASA and a telescope but I believe science leads to killing people and I don’t want it to come to that.

    I would prefer if they used prayer to meet their objective. I’ve organised my twelve kids (my wife’s no Mrs Duggar, that’s for sure!) to start praying for the mission and I’d encourage all like-minded people to do the same before members of the DI resort to murder.

    Since I have absolutely no intention of risking use of a telescope myself, I will wait for the Institute to announce that they’ve discovered the teapot in orbit and their assurance will be my proof.

  22. says

    The important thing to remember is that tea will now be available to those spacegoers fortunate enough to run across it.

    In the meantime i’ll be sipping my earthly coffee.

  23. says

    I also thought it was amazing that Judge Jones was a “Liberal Activist”. That’s quite a feat for a conservative judge…

  24. tl says

    I think I have to start worshiping that teapot as the one true god. it IS a pretty teapot. (Nice Darwin connection via Wedgewood).

    Sorry FSM, your day is done.

  25. Patricia C. says

    #4 – MH – Thanks for that Church of Scotland article link. What a small breeze of hope! I wish the same thing was going on in the USA.

  26. says

    Damn it. A teapot gap.

    Let’s launch a cup and saucer, a tiny spoon, a pint of cream, some sugar cubes, and a nice plate of assorted biscuits, but let’s do it first.

    Just to see the look on their faces.

    I just like the idea of launching a tea pot on the prank level; what a great hack; albeit a multi-billion dollar one at that. Now we need to invest in genetically engineering some unicorns that we can breed for traits like “pink and invisible”

  27. MH says

    Patricia (#32),

    No problem. It would be nice to see it moved to a post of it’s own, as it is really encouraging. Also, it refutes people like Matt Nisbet who think that outspoken atheists should just shut-up. It’s strong evidence that when religion isn’t given unearned respect, emboldened believers will hold ministers to account, and such religious leaders are often unable to defend the dogma.

    Religion in the UK has been dying out for decades, but people like Dawkins are hastening its demise. Lets hope the US follows suit.

  28. mikmik says

    The point is that it is a weak analogy, at best. There is still all the infinite other things that can be proposed and not disproven.

    LOL!!! Any attempt at DI to show that because ‘the teapot’ has been falsified it therefore negates all the FSM etc. examples – doesn’t that then negate God as an example?

    Also, Russel said “… a china teapot…’ and not ‘my china teapot’

  29. Rey Fox says

    I can’t believe people even thought for a second that this was real. Do you think anyone on the ID side has the sophistication to have even heard of Russel’s Teapot?

  30. slang says

    Not to be a spoilsport but:

    #7 “So if anyone has an uncle or aunt working in the Hubble mission, plus a big parking lot to place the teapot in… I guess this will be called the Woodwedge mission.”

    Hubble is unable to look at objects on earth for many reasons, one of them being is that Hubble would be unable to track the rotation of earth. Brightness would be another issue, IIRC.

    #13 Though from what I understand, the HST is incapable of looking clearly at objects in our own solar system, much less a Wedgwood teapot dangled mere inches in front of it (so it can’t see, say, the Apollo landing sites on the moon because it’s too close).

    Hubble often takes pictures of objects in our own solar system.. like these. There are many more on that website.

  31. says

    “So, religion loses either way. Eventually there will be enough Americans who can think clearly, eventually, but I’ll likely be dead.
    Posted by: freelunch”

    I am afraid it is just as likely that the True Believers will succeed in their goal of making everybody dead.

    —–
    “Though from what I understand, the HST is incapable of looking clearly at objects in our own solar system, much less a Wedgwood teapot dangled mere inches in front of it (so it can’t see, say, the Apollo landing sites on the moon because it’s too close). It is designed for deep space observation after all. I’m afraid I would have to demand more concrete evidence than the large white blur in the middle of the frame that would be the inevitable result of their fiendish plot. Why, that could be anything!
    Posted by: MPG”

    As has been pointed out, HST can take excellent pictures of objects in the solar system. It does not have a macro focus capability however and could not take a picture of an object within inches (or feet/meters).

    But, it is unlikely that a HST photo taken with a teapot as illustrated would cause a blur of any kind. It is likely that the effect of such an object being photographed would be in a large increase in diffraction effects, such as star images appearing to have points.

    Remember that a reflecting telescope such as HST already has a number of objects, such as the secondary mirror & its struts, blocking its aperture at nearly the same spot the teapot would hang. These objects are invisible in the telescope’s image, causing only the noted increase in diffraction.

  32. oriole says

    PZ may know a lot about his own field, but before he makes uninformed criticisms of teapot worship, a field in which he does not possess expertise, he should stop to think how he would feel if, say, a tea-ologist were to opine about biology. PZ’s crude and unsubtle criticism of teapot worship is based on a literalist image of an old white-haired English philosopher drinking tea. If he would take the trouble to read the works of some prominent tea-ologists, he would know that the modern understanding of Russell’s teapot is much deeper and more abstract than a non-tea-ologian could possibly understand.

    However, it is allowed to defend teapot worship without understanding tea-ology.

  33. DLC says

    Hm.. all this teapotism on a site usually reserved for rational thought. Here I thought I had found an Atheist Blog, and where’s all the Atheism ? (/joke)

    Although I do wonder if there isn’t a group out there planning to put an invisible dragon in my garage. Probably a Japanese group, probably practicing using a short man in a rubber suit.
    Should I google Godzilla-Wedge ?

  34. BobbyEarle says

    Poe’s Law basicaly states that it is impossible to parody a fundie position because someone will actually think that it is not a parody. “Calling Poe” means that “I think the position you guys are taking seriously is really just a parody”.

    Was that confusing enough?

  35. g says

    Discovery’s biologists are currently planning their worldwide search for a direct descendant of Haldane’s rabbit, while geologists locate appropriate Precambrian strata in which to bury it.

  36. Ichthyic says

    @#4
    I think it’s the best news I’ve read in ages.

    as one of the commenters said:

    …it’s game already over!

  37. g says

    “But it long ago occured to me that as imaging technology improved, it might become possible to detect a Russell’s Teapot, were such to exist.”

    Tricky. First, you’d need a tremendous increase in telescope size just to see a teapot on the Moon from Earth, never mind one further away. Then add another spectacular increase to distinguish the teapot from similar-sized rocks.
    http://curious.astro.cornell.edu/question.php?number=134

    Second, space is big. Really big. Even with a stupendous telescope, it would take a very long time to scan for something teapot-sized if you didn’t know where it was.
    http://www.zone-sf.com/patrickmoore.html

  38. says

    “I can’t believe people even thought for a second that this was real. Do you think anyone on the ID side has the sophistication to have even heard of Russel’s Teapot?
    Posted by: Rey Fox”

    ID proponents often talk about concepts they know absolutely nothing about except for the name of the concept and that some (non-scientific) authority tells them it means X, which supports their own belief system.

    A fine example is the simplistic misinterpretation of the Second Law of Thermodynamics to “prove” that life is impossible because things can only run down without external intervention. IDers say only god could be that “external” source (rather than the sun, which directly or indirectly supplies the external energy for most life processes, or chemical reactions which provide the rest), because they don’t bother to actually investigate how entropy works.

    Yet the Second Law of Thermodynamics clearly demonstrates that an eternal soul cannot exist in this universe as that would violate the 2nd Law. Same with an eternal god.

    If the Second Law of Thermodynamics is true then gods & souls do not exist.