If they aren’t singing about the drugs they take to make them work, they’re wondering why their ex-wives set them on fire. I think I have a new explanation for the Fermi Paradox: the aliens are out there, but they’re so freaked out and baffled by human sexual behavior that they don’t want to get any closer than the orbit of Pluto. Or maybe the reason the alien Greys are hoovering up people and giving them anal probes is that they’ve got this twisted idea that that is how we say “hello.”
(Yes, I am aware that those are two contradictory rationales.)
Elvis said it best: “I’ve got a hunk-a hunk-a burning love…”
Um… Isn’t it “penes”??
SG
Pity those misinformed aliens. Coming all this way to visit and the first contact they have is with a gay male couple making out…
But it could’ve been worse, they might have encountered Falwell and his ilk. Imagine what first impressions that would’ve left.
wondering why their ex-wives set them on fire
There are some advantages to that. As Richard Pryor famously stated after running down the street, his head ablaze from a cocaine-freebasing accident: “People respect you, when you on fire.”
Fermi Paradox: the aliens are out there, but they’re so freaked out and baffled by human sexual behavior that they don’t want to get any closer than the orbit of Pluto
I always thought it was the pro-wrestling and tele-evangelist broadcasts (specifically tammy fae), that spooked ’em.
Um… Isn’t it “penes”??
SG
Not if you are speaking English, but it is the correct Latin. On that subject, the next person to use “viri” as a plural of “virus” will get hit with a large, semi-rotten, fish. That’s not even correct Latin.
I can just hear that Russian guy, minutes before his ex-wife pounced, singing to himself: “You know that it would be untrue / You know that I would be a liar / If I were to say to you …”
I don’t think those are contradictory rationales so much as alternative hyoptheses. Both seem plausible to me.
Who says there’s only one group of alien flying saucer flyboys? It could be that one group is freaked out, another is trying to say hello, and a third is laughing so hard we’re mistaking them for gamma ray bursters…
I lean towards the hypothesis they have landed and nailed a guy to tree about 2000 years ago as a joke. The more recent visitors are just trying to top that.
climax|penis, fire = extremely poor word juxtaposition
Well, if aliens evolved shouldn’t they have equally wierd reproductive mechanisms?
But it could’ve been worse, they might have encountered Falwell and his ilk. Imagine what first impressions that would’ve left.
Posted by: Umilik | August 23, 2007 09:37 AM
Somewhere I have hidden away a John Zorn album where he and his band makes one minute bursts of music as cues for a Japanese gay scifi porno film. Never seen the film but according to the liner notes, aliens take on the guise of gay men and end up liking sex so much, they forget about their invasion of Earth.
This being John Zorn along with Bill Fissell and Joey Baron, the music is great.
The Kids in the Hall said hello multiple times in their anal-probing aliens skit. While I get mail every day from people concerned about the condition of my penis (and it’s awfully nice of them to offer so many remedies for the assumed condition), I don’t get spam from anal-probing aliens.
The aliens win.
There was a comic strip a long time ago that had aliens arriving in a “typical” (“Christian”) cemetery. They get out and look around at all the rows of crosses, and one alien says to the other, “If this is what they worship, can you imagine what their leader looks like?!?”
Now we know the strip was prescient.
Surely the denizens of Uranus fear anal probes more than earthlings.
Just another in a long line of penis envy threads. Congrats PZ, you’ve found your niche. lol.
Sure it is. I had 6 years of Latin at school, you can take my word for that. Although neuter, virus is an ordinary O-declension noun in -s.
ROTFL!!!
Sure it is. I had 6 years of Latin at school, you can take my word for that. Although neuter, virus is an ordinary O-declension noun in -s.
ROTFL!!!
Actually, I thought it was “penes” for multiple penes on a single individual, but penises for multiple individuals each with a single penis.
Kind of like “fish” and “fishes”
SG
Naaah. That’s simply the Latin plural. The other one was composed in English. That’s the difference.
Naaah. That’s simply the Latin plural. The other one was composed in English. That’s the difference.
What I find numbingly weird was this Russian guy, living in a house for years with someone he’s *divorced*, and yet… he thought that sitting around watching TV naked was a good idea. (Especially in Russia. Yes it’s summer but still.)
I mean, sure, setting him on fire was going a little far, but, um, well.
David Marjanović said in comment #16:
AFAIK, the Latin word virus, -i was singulare tantum, and the expected plural would be vira, -orum.