My schedule for the first 3 weeks of June was looking hectic, so it was actually with some sense of relief that I flipped open the PDA and scribbled in the fact that a comet will smash into the earth on 25 May.
I haven’t yet been confident enough to erase all my post-apocalyptic appointments, though. I figure the cataclysm will do that for me.
Great! So I’ll be able to go in and see the Darwin Exhibit on the 26th for FREE!
I don’t think so. The tsunami is going to destroy NY, you know.
Bring galoshes and an umbrella.
Screw housework this week then–woo-hoo!
Oh, I’ll just spend the night at the Museum. Darwin, our evilutionist Deity, will be there to protect me.
Oh, yeah. Evilutionism.
Oh, and I had thought we still had time left until June 6th, date at which of course the Antichrist will come (6/6/6). Good to know Satan will get here to find only the planet destroyed already by a comet. Must be God’s way of tricking him.
Well, I was gonna send off a big payment on my credit card bill today, but hey, fuck that!
At least I’m warning people, so I’m saving lives in May.
“Oh, and I had thought we still had time left until June 6th, date at which of course the Antichrist will come (6/6/6). Good to know Satan will get here to find only the planet destroyed already by a comet. Must be God’s way of tricking him.”
Yeah, we’re having an end of the world party.
And celebrating The National Day of Slayer
http://www.nationaldayofslayer.org/
As a very wise man once said:
Not just Thursday, but !
They’re calling it a comet, but those who read the notices those Notice of Public Comment postings know that it’s actually the Vogon fleet…
Did God clear this cataclysm with Pat Robertson first? If not then I suggest we have nothing to worry about.
Trying that again: Not just Thursday, but Towel Day!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Towel_day
Insert likenings of comets to Vogon Constructor Fleets here.
Only two days left for the rapturous righteous to float naked heavenwards then. There’s some specimens of both genders around here I wouldn’t like to see doing that. It’d be like a full eclipse of the sun. Anyway, won’t the president send up some aging Americans in a shuttle to knock it off course and save the world? He did in the film.
Come on now PZ, I believe Yogi Berry said ” The way to get your predictions right is to predict them after they happen.”
Give Eric Julien credit, at least he is not showing up on the 26th of May saying that he predicted this.
Might I suggest that you go out and charge every single charge card you have to the limit. Do you have a UMM card you can max out? Go for it.
Move to Paris. Buy a Lamborghini. Live for the moment, man!
Does this mean that my Time Share in Atlantis is finally going to pay off? Can I kick Neptune out or what?
+++
Now that’s a coincidence worth considering!
Does this mean we don’t have to buy Stevie Nicks a birthday card?
Personally, I’m looking forward to the Rapture with bated breath; it should reduce Sunday traffic immensely.
It’s the sign of the new creation in Next Thursdayism. All of us evil inhabitants will be wiped out and will be replaced with the new, improved edition who will forever after worship in the true house of Last Thursdayism.
If anyone is interested, I’ll pay you $20 now for all your worthless post-comet-impact property on May 26th. You can spend the money on beer while we still exist, and I’ll get stuck with nothing! How can you beat that deal?
I can just hear that blond Bush-muncher Ann Coulter now: “$#@&% liberal, commie-hippie, godless tree-hugging comet! Two weeks before my book comes out! Dumbass heliocentric solar system, Joe McCarthy was fighting to protect us from this crap.”
As noted in comments at the badastronomy.com article, NBC is showing “10.5 Apocalypse” this week about the high-speed reassembly of Pangea. A couple of years ago they did the prequel, in which California’s faults got slippery.
These made-for-TV movies are so loose with facts (though they at least cite geologists rather than supernatural forces) that I’m not totally astonished (merely surprised) to find this Calif. State agency web site has a page with links devoted to reviewing the 2004 movie and correcting the “science”:
http://www.consrv.ca.gov/index/Earthquakes/qh_earthquakes.10.5_Apocolayps.htm
California Department of Conservation
“10.5: Apocalypse” May Be Entertaining, But It’s Not Science
The world has ended a few times in my lifetime. There was a rapture event about ’82, an alignment of the planets around the same time, and if memory serves, a couple of other religious events, and wasn’t there a comet collision just a few years ago?. (And, no, it’s not worth Googling to verify these.) Since we’ve survived the end of the world so many times so far, I think I’ll make the mortgage payment after all.