We’re going to have to rethink all monotheistic religions, actually, since a study now proves the universe was created by a committee.
The most extensive analysis yet undertaken of the structure and contents of the universe conclusively proves the universe was created not by a single entity, as has been widely suggested, but by “a fractious and disorganized committee or committees given to groupthink and petty infighting”, according to Drs. Karl Pootle and Yumble Frick, co-authors of the study. The analysis is expected to have profound implications on the theoretical underpinnings of many popular religions.
All I can say is…OOOOODDIIIIIIIIIIN!!!
you know people are actually going to think that that is a legit study, right? the site looks way too non-onionish.
The study, entitled Universe: Made By Whom How?, …
HA!
Enterocraftic theory, folks.
It’s still the most appealing.
Actually it has been proven scientifically, that at least THOR must be a member of this commmittee: this year the Danish minister of finance told us there were a big surplus (50 bn. kroner). But strangely enough, the surplus had grown even bigger after some time, without the economists being able to explain it (=divine intervention). The name of our minister of finance is: Thor Petersen.
I don’t think it has anything to do with Jesus – or Muhammad.
It’s a rip-off of Multiple Designers Theory! I want my cut of the royalties!
Well, that certainly explains the Platypus. I’ll wager it was developed by a committee of omnipotents told to ‘think outside the square’.
Finally, a religion that makes sense.
It certainly is. At least that’s what I thought on recognising the idea* and failing to see your name on it even before getting as far as the comments here. It’s certainly what I’d started to note down in my link collection next to it – and you saved me the trouble of looking yours up again!
* Not that the idea is wholly unique to you anyway, you know – rather like that current lawsuit over the Holy Blood/Grail stuff.
Finally, a chance to recognize Apollo once more, the god who is on the job bright and early every morning making the sun rise, while that sloth Jesus eats doughnuts while surfing the web on company time, and gets all the credit. Poor Apollo, having to accept a demotion unfairly, because Jesus is such a suck-up–and I think that Jesus is stealing pens from the office, too. And don’t forget Aphrodite, forced despite her talents to do data entry for Christian Singles websites while Saint Paul sneers at her for being just a “stupid secretary.” It’s about time that some justice was restored.
I kind of like the idea of committee and it even makes more sense than a single entity. It would probably be impossible to either prove or disprove it.
OOOOODDIIIIIIIIIIN!!!
I like that — can we refer to the wingnut religious guys as “Colonel Klinks”?
This makes total sense. According to traditional economic doctrine, a “centrally designed” system will never succeed — it will produce inefficiencies and eliminate diversity of products. The solution is unfettered competition. Therefore, not only must there be multiple intelligent designers, there must a market for these designers to promote their products — e.g., they might sell stocks in different species and the stocks are bought based on aesthetic taste or some other preference system beyond our reality.
Not that I’m a Christian, but I think the Old Testament says in Genesis “Let US make man in OUR image”. I’m positive that if it were actually possible to prove that multiple designers were involved, that Christians would simply morph their understanding into “God and the angels created everything”.
“OOOOODDIIIIIIIIIIN!!!”
PZ, you excell yourself
Actually, this is just the polytheistic theory. The Homeric Gods were fucking with one another all the time. The Greeks did not have an idea that all things work together for good.
Mark Twain’s theory was something like absent-minded design. One day God realizes that he forgot to put in the equivalent of a broom-closet, and to rectify the deficiency he has to send a flood that kils 100,000 people.
Jesus was just a carpenter so, at the very most he did some contract work. Maybe he built a tree or two. Little ones.
Yet another proof of Riddell’s Law, which states “Any sufficiently developed incompetence is indistinguishable from conspiracy.” We don’t have to believe that God’s out to get us: all we have to do is get to the edge of the universe, crack open the firmament, and hear God yell “This sucks! Change it, Butt-Head! Change it!”
Reading the article, I have to love the following
– conclusively proves
– comprehensive scientific foundation
– theories that until recently had been little more than matters of faith with no objective scientific underpinning
-That assumption formed the starting-point of our scientific inquiry. However, as so often happens when you scientifically attempt to prove a theory you assume without objective justification to be fact, the data failed to work in our favor. We were forced to rethink our whole hypothesis. Drawing-board time.
I love how they’ve “got the scientific process down” here. Those creationists are getting clever. I’m also very amazed that they’ve busted their previous theories. Does this mean religion is now fallable? I love how religion is free to adapt their theories while biology, phsyics, chemistry and science have the high bar where any change means it was all nonsense.
This is a wonderful article. Sounds like there is ‘debate’ among theologians. Guess we should advocate they teach the multiple deity theory in their sunday school classes. It’s very important that people be able to see all sides and then make their own choice.
Reminds me of one of my homebrew D&D settings: The natives of that world sometimes argue whether the deities generate a net benefit, or if the world would just be better off without them. Even one of those deities ponders the question on a routine basis.
I am such a raging atheist that, in my homebrew D&D sessions, we don’t use deities.
It also makes the game more fun.
Polytheism is by far cooler than monotheism. And that does not take into account the natural tendency for ecumenism and tolerance that the polytheists had.
That’s usually interpreted as referring to the Trinity — Christians believe that there is one and only one God, and that He is composed of three distinct entities.
You’re going to try to get them to think rationally? Good luck with that.
OOOOODDIIIIIIIIIIN!!!
Well, dang.
If you’d just said that in response to my half-assed religion post I’d’ve known exactly where you were coming from.
“OOOOODDIIIIIIIIIIN!!!”
PZ, you excell yourself
Help me out here, Aa, I don’t get the reference.
Actually I like the old movie “Time Bandits”. That sort of fits the bill as well.
What about:
Pallas Athaena Nike ?
– you can face the Medusa’s head if you like – I’m off for a beer!
A committee with a strength of 30 million gods…Any competition?
Groupthink and petty infighting? Methinks that they wound up studying themselves…
How do you know that this doesn’t “prove” the Holy Trinity?
:)
OT — anyone see this
http://www.startribune.com/484/story/289554.html
Again, South Park was there first – it was the Super Friends!
“Help me out here, Aa, I don’t get the reference.”
It is well known amongst theologians that an appellation to “Odin!” settles all arguments between worldviews: http://www.thepaincomics.com/weekly041229a.htm .
Science disproves Christianity
How many times is that now?
What do your clerics use then to get their healing abilities? Or have you done away with the general cleric class and instead made them more ‘typical’ magical users that use a different spell list?
Clerics don’t need deities in 3rd Ed. They can serve concepts just as easily.
Yup, and that’s why polytheism has been gaining ground rapidly, and outcompeting those intolerant monotheistic religions.
Seriously; is tolerance an evolutionarily viable strategy?
I wouldn’t be at all surprised if that trickster Loki were on the committee as well. That might explain the platypus.
Oh, no. No, no, no. Say it ain’t so.
The Universe was made by MICROSOFT??????
“…the universe was created not by a single entity, as has been widely suggested, but by ‘a fractious and disorganized committee or committees given to groupthink and petty infighting’…”
That would go a long way towards explaining pygmies and dwarfs.
BC, if you do a search on the net, you will see that “Ya” was the southern Jewish deity, and “El” was the northern one. These two gods were later combined into a single god, “Yahweh”. Rock inscriptions have been found documenting El, so the “we” in the old Testament indeed meant plural gods.
Thus explaining the etymology of the term Hell Yeah.
I’m not sure about the present, but polytheistic communities of the past were tolerant as long as someone accepted their gods, not the other way round.
I keep telling God that if He didn’t outsource so much of His work, He wouldn’t have so much to complain about.
So Pratchett is right. That means afpers are the new Apostles.
Neat.
“I keep telling God that if He didn’t outsource so much of His work”
But it makes sense for the company to outsource mundane and repetetive production work, and concentrate on main functions such as managing company stocks, outsourcing and what-not. It’s the beancounters that makes the world go around – or so they say.
With reference to that “The Pain . . . ” cartoon that Torbjorn points out, I particularly like the way the scientist’s words trail off in umlauted o’s.
I still love Norse mythology. Somehow a world where almost all the gods croak seems much more satisfying than that decadent soap opera of the Greeks.
One further bit O’ trivia:
ODIN is also the Russian number ‘1’…
I also got a chuckle out of the article “Most Studies Find Nothing, Study Finds” by the same author (here).
Nice.
Oh! What my eyes read? A “commitee” of “gods”!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Hilarious!!
What now, a Union of Gods?? HAHAHA!
What now, a Union of Gods??
This explains a lot … they must be striking!
You are all wrong! The universe WAS created by a single, intelligent entity at one point in time and in its complete, present form. Except, that he made it to look like it was 15.4 billion years, and to look as if evolution was the origin of life and species. God is not only omnipotent and infinite, but he has this incredible sense of humor.
Don’t bogart that mead, my friend
Pass it over to me.
Don’t bogart that mead, my friend
Pass it over to me.
Pass another one
Just like the other one.
This one’s drunk to the end
Come on and be a friend.
Don’t bogart that mead, my friend
Pass it over to me.
Don’t bogart that mead, my friend
Pass it over to me.
Paaaaaaaaaaaaaass another one
Just like the other one.
You’ve been hanging on like a fink
And I sure would like a drink.
Don’t bogart that mead, my friend
Pass it over to me.
Don’t bogart that mead, my friend
Pass it over to me