So, we’ve all heard about Mike Pence’s inability to learn things that the median 8 year old has long mastered, but one thing I found more depressing was the makeup of the top results when one attempted to Go Ogle “Pence do not touch” this morning. Here are my first 6:

Google results for “Pence Do Not Touch” around 10am PDT on Saturday, 8 July 2017

Really, US media? Pence’s excuse was that Marco Rubio dared him. What’s yours?

This is the US Vice-President, fucking up publicly on US soil, and not one of you managed to put up coverage that could out-perform the Beeb? You got smacked by the Sydney Morning Herald, fFs. I mean, the SMH is a fine paper, I’m sure, but it doesn’t even get the benefit of the UK colonial diaspora hankering for a bit o’ home to boost its ratings. It’s the paper of record for a country of less than 30 million, not a country of more than 300 million. And – must I state the obvious? – it’s thousands of miles, including the world’s largest Ocean and a not insignificant continent – away from Florida. Look on any globe and you can see it’s headquartered nearly as close to the Floridian antipode as a major newspaper can be*1.

I’m not exactly sure what this says about the US media, but it sure as heckfire aint’ent good.

*1: though I might have to give the nod to Singapore for that, it’s still darn close to as far as you can get unless you think Perth is a good headquarters for a major investigative news team.