Sunday Funnies.


bright yellow fabric stretched in a needlepoint hoop with words stitched, "WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MUTATES AND TRIES AGAIN"

I just love how this simple, factual message is stitched onto such bright yellow fabric. It has the feel of a happy face emoji. I’d like to personally volunteer to stitch it onto some governors‘ foreheads. 😃

Three men seated at a table. Left: a dark-skinned man in a t-shirt, with no plate in front of him. Center: An older white man in a suit and tie, with a plate in front of him stacked with a mountain of cookies. Right: a white man in a hard hat and a safety vest, with a plate in front of him containing one cookie. The man in the center points at the dark-skinned man and tells the white working man, "Careful. That immigrant wants your cookie!"

This so perfectly captures the cynical mendaciousness of white, wealthy capitalists, in both major political parties in the United States. It lays bare the utter simplicity of their divide-and-conquer strategy. The only criticism I have is that it fails to depict women crouched around the table, begging and waiting for scraps.

(Twitter stream) John Pavlovitz: "In your own words, how would you describe Libertarians?" John Spaulding: "House cats." They are convinced of their fierce independence while utterly dependent on a system they don't appreciate or understand."

Sure, this John Spaulding dude’s description applies quite nicely to libertarians, but it is also a spot-on description of conservatives, with all their bootstrappy fantasies about the American Nightmare™. And you  know what? All the house cats I’ve ever known (and loved, Lard help me!) are total fucking narcissists.

Yeah, I’m digging this cat analogy more and more.

Titled: THE TEACHINGS OF REPUBLICAN JESUS, with an image of a typical white Jesus figure in a robe that is draped in a U.S. flag, and holding what appears to be a double barreled shotgun, surrounded by text boxes. "FEED ONLY THOSE THAT LOOK LIKE US & PASS THE DRUG TEST" "GIVE YOUR MONEY TO THOSE WHO ARE WEALTHY & ALREADY WITH PRIVILEGE" "BLESSED SHALL BE THOSE WHO TAKE AWAY HEALTHCARE FROM THE SICK & THE MEEK" "IF YOU GET HIT, HIT BACK HARDER" "THE RICH AND THE POWERFUL SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH" "DO NOT KILL ... UNLESS THEY REALLY DESERVE IT" "DO NOT GIVE UNTO THEM AID, FOR THEIR COUNTRY IS A SH*THOLE" "IF THEY ARE IN NEED AND ARE STRANGERS, DEPORT THEM" "PUNISH THOSE FROM OTHER NATIONS THAT SEEK ASYLUM. TAKE AWAY THEIR CHILDREN & PUT THEM IN CAGES" "DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO UNTO YOU"

Memes twisting bible passages to score political points against conservatives is a time-honored tradition. But there are also many passages so bizarre and hilarious they require no editing.

Black & white comic drawing of a teacher in front of a classroom of kids, none of whom are wearing masks. A screen depicts what appear to be two Aztec(?) religious figures preparing to execute a confused-looking child on an altar. The teacher says, "Class, today we'll study people so callous that they sacrificed children to appease their god." On the open door to the room hangs a sign that reads "NO MASK MANDATES -Your MAGA Governor."And similarly:

An unmasked teacher stands in front of students (mask status not shown); behind her is a blackboard with "History 101" written on it. She says, "Bottom line: pay attention in this class and you won't be as easily fooled as your parents are."

Really, the only thing “funny” about these is the odds of the presumably unvaxxed teachers dying from COVID are higher than even unvaxxed kids.

(Hand-printed protest sign): "BAN VIAGRA / IMPOTENCE IS GOD'S WILL" followed by the male symbol, i.e. a circle with an arrow protruding from it up and to the right, except the arrow is wilted. Then, "I don't want my tax dollars paying for YOUR ERECTION" and "If pregnancy is God's will then so is IMPOTENCE."

We’ve seen the ban-viagra-god’s-will argument many times before and it has always bugged me, but I never really thought about it long enough to figure out why. Until now, that is: WARNING! RANT INCOMING!

Of course I understand that it’s a facetious argument meant to provoke older men, who are disproportionately in positions of power to give the government control over women’s bodies AND ALSO disproportionately likely to experience erectile dysfunction. And I’m even a fan of mediocre political messaging (i.e. based on conservative “logic”) as long as it works. But do you believe these dudes (or their patriarchy-loving women enablers) equate abortion with healthcare? Or medicine? Enough to put them both in the same category and have some kind of “aha” moment where they realize the inequality is unjust? Pfft. If you’re pro-forced birth, the inequality in the treatment of women is a feature, not a bug.

The not-my-tax-dollars argument is shit, too. Well, it is if you actually want single-payer healthcare. It legitimizes that what constitutes “healthcare” is a political question, and not a medical one. That is not a good direction to go, and can lead to some very bad outcomes. For example, putting these questions to a popular vote. (If some of us are still allowed to vote, obviously.)

Maybe cancer or being diabetic during COVID has something to do with my thoughts on this front. The thing is, the argument implies that every medical condition is “god’s will,” and I’m quite sure that is NOT a winning argument with religious conservatives.

Honestly the real reason I loathe this analogy/argument so much may be an emotional one: some of my, um, “best friends” are seriously hot, older (feminist) men, and – for purely selfless reasons, people! – I want them to have erections whenever the fuck they want/whenever they want to fuck. Ideally, on the taxpayer dime should medication be required to achieve said erections.

Okay, so this fucking sign isn’t funny. At all. Never mind.

Tweet by Jeff Tiedrich (@itsJeffTiedrich) dated January 15, 2022: "fucking shocked to learn that the guy with fake hair and fake tan and fake teeth and fake SAT scores and fake bone spurs and a fake foundation and a fake university and a fake charity tried to submit fake electoral certificates. holy fucking shit, how did we Nazi that coming"Heh. IRIS PUNZ.

May you have a raucous laughter-filled moment, day, week, month, year and/or life.

 

Comments

  1. says

    “Immigrant wants your cookie” meme is splendid.

    Libertarians as house cats is good, too. They shit in a box that is provided for them and cleaned by servants.