As of this writing, five people are dead and eight remain hospitalized after a gunman fired a barrage of bullets in a baggage claim area at Ft. Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport in Florida. The alleged shooter was taken into custody, and the airport was (and still is) on lockdown.

When the news first broke earlier today, my heart did too. My first thoughts went to the survivors, and to the loved ones of those who were killed and injured. I hope they get all the support and assistance they need after a(nother) senseless tragedy. Especially those with medical expenses that our wonderful society likes to charge to hapless victims of injury and illness.

My next thoughts were not quite so empathetic.

I thought about how—as usual—we all dutifully wait with bated breath to find out whether the incident was “terrorism.” Or, you know, not? That is: was the mass shooter a brown-skinned person who has ever uttered the word Allah. Alternatively, he (a mass shooter is virtually always a he) might be merely a white, native-born Lone Wolf™ who is therefore strangely immune from toxic ideology.

Nevermind that five people are dead and eight remain hospitalized in a trademark USAian mass shooting, one among countless similar occurrences that happen here as often as bad weather. Let’s not forget what’s really important here is whether we can blame Islam for this particular cloudburst. If so, perhaps we can justify bombing brown people before the bodies in Ft. Lauderdale are even cold.

As the story rolled across my feeds, I mentioned it to my friendly neighborhood bartender. He said, and I quote, “Is it terrorism?” I took a deep breath. “Sorry, we don’t yet know whether he’s a white US citizen.”

It turns out this mass shooter is not so easily categorized as either a “terrorist” or a Lone Wolf™. How inconvenient. :(

Broward Sheriff’s deputies are working with the FBI, trying to figure a motive for the shooting. They are trying to find out if an argument on a plane sparked the shooting.

No apparent motive, but maybe there was an argument on the plane? Baggage claim rage? Sort of like road rage, I guess. (Hey, I’ve been there.) But unless the argument was about Islam, sorry: NOT TERRORISM.

shooter was a passenger on a Canadian flight with a checked gun…the shooter claimed his bag at the baggage claim area then took the gun from his bag before going into a bathroom and loading his weapon. He then reportedly came out of the bathroom and began shooting people in the baggage claim area.

No reports of this gunman shrieking “Allahu Akbar,” so NOT TERRORISM.

A law enforcement source identifies the accused shooter as Esteban Santiago Ruiz, 26, of New Jersey.

Uh-oh. Sounds this might not be a white d00d. Brown-ish, even. OMG TERRORISM?!

The source said he had an active military ID for the U.S. Army.

DEFINITELY NOT TERRORISM!

Sources say he had a concealed weapons permit on him.

Hey, they don’t just hand those out willy-nilly to “terrorists,” do they? NOT TERRORISM!

The source added he had a minor criminal history.

Hmmm. Could go either way. :|

Law Enforcement sources told CBSNews that in Nov. 2016, he walked into an FBI office in Anchorage, AK claiming he was being forced to fight for ISIS

OMG TERRORISM!!!11!!

but was sent to a psychiatric hospital after Anchorage police were called.

NOT TERRORISM! MENTAL ILLNESS!!11!!!

The gunman was reportedly wearing ‘Star Wars’ shirt at the time of the shooting.

NOT TERRORISM!

Early indications show that the FBI isn’t seeing links to terrorism, according to CBS News’ Kris Van Cleave.

So…not terrorism, then?

I HAZ A CONFUZED.

Well at least we can all rest assured that our liberal media will soon set us straight on this vexing matter, one way or the other.

Good thing we have a massive surveillance state apparatus all up in everyone’s business, so we can monitor people who claim they’re being being forced to fight for ISIS and thereby prevent them from carrying out their nefarious plans.

[h/t Sylvia]