This is part of my Hope Series, in the wake of the Likely Death of Democracy. I’ve been queuing these posts for 6:30 AM Eastern time and a frivolous link post for 9:30 AM as a chaser. I mention this because you may have missed previous entries. In the end there will be one per day for every day from 11/6-11/16. Check ’em out.
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God damn this is a hard one to write, in this moment. That said, not a hard one to live up to – for me. You see, I might hulk out from time to time, but most of any given day, I’m thinking about things neutral to positive. I’m thinking about the creeping sorrel in the crack at my front door, about whether I could make a breeding habitat for alligator lizards in my back yard. My mind is biologically healthy, mercifully so, and just doesn’t want to cling to bad feelings.
Anger is a bad feeling. Some people with pathological minds think of it as “fun,” but they somehow don’t look like they’re having fun when they snap their xbox controller in half and bellow obscenities. People who think about who they hate all day? They are unwell. It is said if you aren’t outraged you aren’t paying attention. Well, if paying attention leads to poor health, then one must spend at least some amount of one’s life not paying attention.
I don’t know what else to say on this one. I’m writing at two in the AM, and within the space of composing the first paragraph I lost the rage from the first sentence, then got it back at the beginning of this paragraph, then lost it again. Think I might be tired. Baby needs a nap.
But seriously tho. If you’re angry all day, you need to jailbreak your mind. I don’t have any constructive advice aside from the usual shit you have already heard a million times. “Touch grass” meme. I’m just here to remind you it is actually important for your health that you figure out how to do this. And good luck with it!
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If anybody has some good suggestions or wants to start a discussion about this in the comments, the floor is open.
To be as practical as possible, I can mention what works for me. I find that I’m thinking less about how horribly wrong the timeline is if I’m busy, especially with activities that are somewhat meaningful. Attention is a limited resource, so if I’m spending it all on something relevant, I don’t have any left for the anger-inducing crap.
Specifically, I recommend volunteer work. There’s a million good causes that could use a hand and even an hour or two per week will do wonders for your mental health, both by the distraction in the moment and the good vibes afterwards.
And yes, if it’s something that gets you out of the house and away from the screens, that’s a big plus.
For the last 60 years I have been well served by a technique I stumbled into in high school when I was devastated (in the manner of teen girls) by the end of crush. One’s thoughts can become as a muddy, rutted road, the kind where the ruts make your car go the way the ruts go and it is difficult to get out of the ruts. Then one picks a transfer item, and as soon as thoughts start down the rutted path, one forcefully turns them to the transfer item. At first it’s hard, but with practice you build a new rutted pathway and cut off the old one.
Two in the AM, huh?
A reminder, too, that rage and worry affect one physically. I suffer a slew of health problems (not for long, I suppose, if medicare and SS crumble away) and the past couple of months, my pain levels and inability to sleep have been off the charts. I remind myself that even in the throes of the exploding urinary bladder that went on to kill him, Epicurus maintained his positive attitude and ideals. Or so goes the legend, anyway. Would that I could be so grounded.
Channel the rage into other things. I may seem a bit rage eaten but imagine if I couldn’t do anything but suppress it? Rage happens, have a habit of thought to switch to another emotional track if one wants to avoid it. It doesn’t have to be positive feeling for others either, just more useful, or less of what one wants to avoid.
It can be fuel for the other things but the other things being fuel makes the rage eaten thing less likely.