I’ve never seen a dead human body before. Many people have; I may be very privileged in this regard. I’ve heard it supposed that the advent of modern ambulances – whisking away the dying to hospitals and filing them out of sight into a refrigerator – has had the result of far fewer people seeing their family members after the moment of passing. Same person suggested that this may have increased belief in ghosts, as the person’s absence would feel less final without the experience of seeing them gone.
If this is too grim to deal with, please do give the post a pass. If you want to talk about your experiences of seeing death or its aftermath, and the way it made you feel, comment away. Personally, it’s hard for me to imagine, save that I expect it’s pretty gross. I’ve seen glimpses of lethal violence because edgelords prowl the earth trying to spring shocking content on you for fun, but I’m pretty good at averting or unfocusing my eyes – have only the vague impression of what goatse looks like.
I bring this up because of my recent posts about murder got me feeling some type of way. Been fortunate it always missed me. I guess it always does until it doesn’t. I say my hail satans and pray my body and mind last long enough to have a decent retirement.
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I sat with my mother as she died in her assisted living apartment. At the end, a single tear went down her cheek, to which I assigned emotional significance, but was more likely simply the release of fluids as everything relaxed. There is a reality to a dead body that prevents one from playing mental games about whether they are really gone. For this reason I make a point of viewing the bodies of those I have loved whenever possible. I also sat with my father, many years before. Hospital staff, knowing there was a Do Not Resuscitate Order, ran me out when I said he’s stopped breathing, probably so I couldn’t complain while they quite properly did nothing. The closer you get to medical care, the more it seems we avoid dealing with death. However, I also found that immigrant medical workers had more sense about handling the dead. There’s about a twenty minute gap between death and the period of rigor mortis. That’s when you prop the mouth closed, and shut the eyes, so visitors will see a composed corpse. Miss that interval, and the corpse will have staring eyes and a gaping mouth. I wish American culture handled it better.
First time I saw a dead body was when I was six, at my Sunday school teacher’s funeral. Made me think about dying and how I wouldn’t be able to read the Sunday colour comics anymore. Then I realized I could just look down from heaven and read them over someone’s shoulder, so I stopped worrying about death.
Most recent time was seven years ago at my father’s funeral. In between, twice in my life I was first on the scene of fatal traffic accidents. Even though there was no blood, the stillness of those bodies that were animate just moments earlier was disturbing.
As you get older, the number of dead people you know tends to increase.
My mother was in hospital when I got a call from the staff they couldn’t wake her up, so I rushed to get there. I sat with her as her breathing slowed and eventually stopped. A very emotional moment, but also natural. After a while the color started draining from her face because the circulation had also stopped. And as Rebecca Wiess said, the nursing staff put a towel around the head to keep the jaw closed.
People die when their life cannot be sustained anymore. There is no mystery, and there is no reason for fear.
quality comments. i wonder if they came into the site just ahead of the network going down or what tho…
really set myself up for melancholy vibes, but i was feeling it when i posted, knew what i was getting into.
condolences where relevant, atheistical solemnities as well.
checked it and yes, looks like u all squeaked in these comments ahead of when ftb went down.