With surf and sun
It’s lots of fun
To swim at Wallis Sands
Wield plastic tools,
Dig sandy pools
In which to wash your hands

Where you can share
Your picnic fare
With seagulls, if you wish
And now, the place
Where you may face
A giant jellyfish!

A sunny day
The children play
With sunscreen on their faces
With playful dunks
And sand in trunks
And other gritty places

A sudden sting,
A hurtful thing—
The children scream with pain
The swimmers rue
The blob of goo
They call the Lion’s Mane

It’s not often that the coast of New Hampshire makes international news–frankly, there’s not all that much coast there (which does not stop the state from charging two bucks for the privilege of driving the 17 miles from MA to ME–effectively holding Maine hostage from the contiguous US). But when a giant (ok, a fairly small individual for its species) tentacled menace attacks and injures (ok, technically it was dead, and fell apart when the lifeguard tried to collect it with a pitchfork, having never heard the phrase “nailing jello to the wall”) 150 beach-goers, somebody is going to notice.

It is a Lion’s Mane Jellyfish, not normally seen so far south, nor in shallow water. I predict that lifeguards will be given a new policy: for jellyfish, use a fishnet, not a pitchfork.

The recent farewell post by Bora, and some of the other explanations for departures, have got me thinking. It’s not something I do often, or terribly well. But I found a couple spare neurons to rub together, and I am mulling things over. I’m not seriously considering stopping writing–although it is entirely possible that the new world order will make it such that my audience diminishes tremendously. Or not. I really am not that good at predicting the future. But I do know that one thing I want, before the entire internet goes the way of 8-track tapes, is a good, solid, souvenir. A comprehensive book, a best of the three or so years I have been doing this. I liked Vol. 1, but released it at a horrible time for actual sales; vol.2 was thrown together (completely my fault) in too little time. So I’m starting now, with the thought of having something really and truly worthwhile by Halloween or Thanksgiving (Early November would be ideal, I think.)

I’m saying this publicly, because I have said it privately too often and let it slide. I have received valuable advice and offers of help, which (entirely my fault) I let wither on the vine because I was too busy grading papers.

Anyway… 1) I am opening up for good advice, bad advice, and advice that’s not quite sure but willing to experiment. 2) I would really (really) like to hear from you, if you are a fan, which verses absolutely must be part of it, and which verses absolutely should be taken out behind the woodshed and shot humanely. If you would, just leave a comment (positive or negative) in the comments of any that strike your fancy–I’ll let gmail compile for me. And don’t worry about insulting any of them; hell, anyone who likes them all has lousy taste (even *I* dislike some of them)!

Hey, it might give you something to do while SB is on strike. (what? So soon?)

Again, this is not an “I’m thinking of quitting” post–I owe my readers far too much for that; they have made wonderful things possible for me, and it might take me a decade to repay that.

While Pharyngula’s going on strike
You can hang around here, if you like.
Look around, take your time–
No, you don’t have to rhyme;
(And DM? You can go take a hike!)

No, I don’t expect you to migrate here en masse, but I saw Laden invite people, and thought I’d put out the welcome mat as well.

While Pharyngula’s going on strike
You can hang around here, if you like.
Look around, take your time–
No, you don’t have to rhyme;
(And DM? You can go take a hike!)

No, I don’t expect you to migrate here en masse, but I saw Laden invite people, and thought I’d put out the welcome mat as well.

I wrote this yesterday, I think, on a comment thread that turned into a tone-fight, so I doubt that more than the half-dozen or so participants bothered to read far enough down to see it. So here it is. A previous commenter had written that he had hoped that people would donate out of the goodness of their hearts, and not need to be rewarded for doing so; I personally would much rather give out a ton of food donated by selfish bastards than half a ton donated by selfless altruists. Besides, I think the latter are mostly found in mythology, anyway:

If we only take donations
With the purest motivations
And our shelves remain half-empty, it’s the hungry folks who lose.
If the sponsors can afford it,
There’s good reason to reward it!
And the altruists can turn their prizes down, if they so choose.
Do not make it any harder
Than it is, to stock a larder,
With a view of human nature based on freely-chosen good!
I don’t care if it looks greedy,
If it helps the poor and needy–
The alternative is hunger, till we give “because we should”.
If a prize or recognition
Brings donations to fruition–
“I’ll increase my odds of winning if I donate lots of tins!”–
You can say that it looks selfish;
I’m not humanist, I’m shellfish!
When we pay for good behavior, sometimes everybody wins!

I wrote this yesterday, I think, on a comment thread that turned into a tone-fight, so I doubt that more than the half-dozen or so participants bothered to read far enough down to see it. So here it is. A previous commenter had written that he had hoped that people would donate out of the goodness of their hearts, and not need to be rewarded for doing so; I personally would much rather give out a ton of food donated by selfish bastards than half a ton donated by selfless altruists. Besides, I think the latter are mostly found in mythology, anyway:

If we only take donations
With the purest motivations
And our shelves remain half-empty, it’s the hungry folks who lose.
If the sponsors can afford it,
There’s good reason to reward it!
And the altruists can turn their prizes down, if they so choose.
Do not make it any harder
Than it is, to stock a larder,
With a view of human nature based on freely-chosen good!
I don’t care if it looks greedy,
If it helps the poor and needy–
The alternative is hunger, till we give “because we should”.
If a prize or recognition
Brings donations to fruition–
“I’ll increase my odds of winning if I donate lots of tins!”–
You can say that it looks selfish;
I’m not humanist, I’m shellfish!
When we pay for good behavior, sometimes everybody wins!

There was a man who had a book
Of Things Which He Believed;
He followed it religiously—
He would not be deceived.

The story in its pages was
The Truth that he adored—
The world outside its ancient script,
He faithfully ignored.

When someone found a falsehood
Or a small mistake inside it
(Or even some tremendous flaw)
He eagerly denied it.

The Truth was there inside his book
And never found outside
If something contradicted it
Why then, that something lied

And when he met another man
Who had another book,
He fell not to temptation—why,
He didn’t even look.

And, surely, there are other men
With other books in hand
Who walk, with views obstructed,
Here and there across the land

****

There was a man who had a book
(I find this quite exciting)
Who looked upon a tangled bank
And then… he started writing.

He wrote about the things he saw
And what he saw them do
And when he found mistakes he’d made
He wrote about them, too

He shared his book with other men
And women that he met—
They found the catch is bigger, when
You cast a wider net.

They shared their observations
So that everyone could read;
They worked as a community,
The better to succeed.

They found they saw much further,
And discovered so much more
When they stood upon the shoulders
Of the ones who’d gone before

It’s a book that keeps evolving,
Always growing, as we learn.
Many people help to write it:
Would you like to take a turn?

My original beef with Libertarians is at a very basic level–I disagree with a great many of their philosophical foundations. Now this–Libertarians are Darwinian?

Well, selection might have maimed me
And the old Grim Reaper claimed me
Many years ago, but medicine kept both of them at bay.
Penicillin gave protection,
When without its help, selection
Would have taken me in childhood, and there’d be no me today.
My political opinion?
If your party is Darwinian
You’re a right cold-hearted bastard who assumes your kind survives.
Evolution? Hell, I love it,
But I’m glad to rise above it
And to help both friend and stranger to live better, longer lives

From PZ again

I knew a man who broke the rules—
As many others did—
He didn’t troll through Sunday schools
And try to rape a kid;
He didn’t gag the doctors,
Hard at work promoting health;
He didn’t tithe the destitute
To redistribute wealth;
He didn’t push for ignorance
Of reproductive choice,
Or silence the dissenting gays
Who tried to raise their voice.
Oh, no—this man was worse than that,
The horrid, horrid beast!
He pushed for ordination
Of a woman as a priest!

Via PZ, of course.

P-Zed reports on the Indianapolis public school system’s decision to block certain websites from their school’s computers. Nothing major there. But it appears (maybe it’s just a grammar problem–wait, in the schools? can’t be!), but it looks like one of the things they are worried about is that students would then have access to the spells and incantations used by atheists.

I couldn’t find my copy of “atheist spells for dummies”, and I don’t trust my memory any more, but I don’t seem to recall us atheist types actually having any spells or incantations in the first place.

So I wrote one.

I invoke the godless fires
In the name of P. Z. Myers
And if Satan were not fiction, I’d be using his name, too!
Poison potions in my kitchens
Are the legacy of Hitchens,
And of Dennett, Dawkins, Harris… (if you’re reading this, then you!)
It’s a special incantation
For the heathens in our nation
Surely Darwin grants approval from his sulphur throne in hell–
If I knew the phrase in Latin
I’d recite it, smooth as satin,
But since atheists don’t do that shit, perhaps it’s just as well.