Too good to be true—ah, alas!
No reduction, in weight or in mass—
Now the latest reports
Say, caffeine in my shorts
Isn’t useful for slimming my ass!
Headline: Wacoal iPants and other caffeine-laced shapers won’t fight fanny fat, FTC says
(Yeah, it’s been a while since the last Headline Muse. I forget why I stopped…)