The Current State Of The Political Race

With Democrats mostly extolling the polling
Republicans argue it’s biased or skewed;
They’re both showing near-universal commercials—
In swing states, the voters count thousands they’ve viewed!
This week marks the start of debating; we’re waiting
To see when the last “undecideds” might choose;
The very last moment, they “abracadabra!”
And magically say who will win; who will lose.

Though some leave predictions to mystics, statistics
Quite strongly, right now, lean the Democrats’ way;
That doesn’t stop Romney and Ryan from tryin’
(Their plans, true to form, they’re refusing to say)
The details we know are, at present, unpleasant—
And both sides have ads that they hope will appall…
With only mere weeks till the voting, I’m noting
Increasing desire to be rid of it all!

Image: Michael McRae

Feathered Dinosaurs Are Cool

It seems a consensus on whether the feathers
Of dinosaurs ought to be shown has been reached
Though Hollywood lags in their fictions’ depictions
The scientists know it’s the thing to be… um… teached.
That raptors had plumage is clear now, but hear, now,
The voice of tradition that shows them without—
In movies and books (and museums?) you see ‘em
Bereft of their feathers—what’s that all about?

For some, it’s a nod to Jurassic Park classic,
A bit of tradition—what people expect;
For others, their ignorance slows them, and shows them
An icon surviving through simple neglect.
It’s not that they like things outdated, or hated;
They’d rather be current, I think, as a rule
So, really, a new wave’s approaching, encroaching,
Cos feathers on dinosaurs… really, that’s cool

(context here at io9; cuttlecap tip to Riley Black)

The Ground Zero Cross… Again.

For some who’ve experienced losses, the cross is
A symbol of grieving, of heartbreak, of death;
They’ll flock to a church or museum to see ‘em
Defending their presence with all of their breath.
The tomb of a great many heroes, Ground Zero’s
A place to remember who answered the call;
The cross stands for good Christian brothers, but others
Have different symbols—and some, none at all.

The privileged among us will fight for the right for
Their privileged positions to carry the day;
The Christians assume God protects, and expects them
To honor His care, in the usual way.
The cross at Ground Zero is holy, but solely
For Christians, as others have quite clearly shown;
The atheists, Muslims, and Jews are just losers—
They want it to be there for Christians alone.

I can take my pick of sources… David Silverman is in the news again, fighting the Ground Zero Cross.
As always, the comments vary across sites, and as always, it is a display of Christian privilege.

Silverman is forced into the position of looking like an utter dick. The “cross”, a bit of wreckage from the ruins of the twin towers, is such a trivial thing–who could oppose its inclusion in the 9/11 memorial? Like “in god we trust” on money, it’s ceremonial deism, religion diluted homeopathically, something that should be opposed more by religious believers than by atheists…

Except.

When you read the writing on the wall, and the absolute zero of religion’s future is compared to the statistical irrelevance of ceremonial deism, suddenly the trivial battles are worth fighting, and silly crossbeams are now religious icons of the highest order. Seriously, the most common juxtaposition of beams in a heap of rubble is now worth going to the wall for. Because God, that’s why.

David Silverman does not have my stamp of approval. But he does have my sympathy. I would not take his job for a pile of gold. I doubt very much that he wants to take most of these cases, but he is in the position of taking them or ceding another few inches of territory, each and every time. So he is forced to fight.

The fact that we are fighting over more and more trivial notions is testament to Silverman’s success. The real estate we are quibbling over is smaller and smaller, and as a result, the skirmishes are more and more nasty. I mean, seriously–two bits of girder? In a building that was constructed of tons upon tons of girders welded at 90 degrees to one another? Three thousand deaths, and a couple of girders are a symbol worth fighting for?

Fight, David Silverman. Fight, Christians. The big battles are already decided.

Crosses are sooooo two years ago.

A Question For Stephen Fry

Like pretty much all of us, I just love Stephen Fry. And no, I am not going to attempt to laud him in verse or song—that’s been done, and wonderfully, and in person—but rather, am hoping to use his expertise. You see, he wrote the book. And some day soon, I am going to have a long post (or series) here singing its praises.

I heard Susan Blackmore, at some conference, say something to the effect of “if you want to learn all about something, write a book on it.” She was speaking of consciousness, and her journey led her to write, now, several books on it. But that’s not what I need help with. I need to know if I have, as I suspect, come up with a brand-new verse form worthy of its own name and everything. It has structure. It has rules. It has examples. What I don’t know is, has it already been done? And who better to ask than Stephen Fry, the man who wrote the book?

Dear sir: I am not a real poet, and know it,
I read lots of stuff, and I comment in verse;
It’s not that my words are much sweeter in meter
And rhyme, but the truth is they can’t be much worse.
Because my obsession’s impassioned, I’ve fashioned
A form that, as far as I know, is unique;
I missed, though, some critical knowledge from college,
So yours is the expert opinion I seek.

I hope that a simple example is ample
To show you the structure, to help you decide;
I’ve other ones, too, that I’m thinking of linking
In lieu of some sort of a technical guide
The scansion is simple, both rhyming and timing
With eight lines per stanza, two stanzas in all;
But that’s all I’ve got; it’s still nameless—but, shameless,
I’m hoping you’ll help me, and answer my call.

(by the way, this is probably the clunkiest example of the form, but once I decided to ask Mr. Fry, I couldn’t help myself… nor could I wait and edit it until I got it just right.)

A bit more, and links to many more examples, after the jump: [Read more…]

Nebraska Ghosts! (This Way To The Egress!)

They heard the museum was haunted! Undaunted,
They brought their equipment, to see for themselves.
Recorders and other such get-up were set up
Midst Indian artifacts filling the shelves
You might, given that’s what your choice is, hear voices
In fuzzy recordings and that sort of thing
The noises they’ve heard may be ghostly, but mostly
They’re steps on the way to the sound of “ka-ching”

“If tourists will hit the museum to see ‘em
We’ll say we saw ghosts, and we caught them on tape!
The suckers will love it! They’ll line up, and sign up
For annual passes, their mouths all agape!
You want what we claim we’ve collected inspected?
The button to pay us securely is here!”
They’ll show you—but first, take your money. It’s funny;
Their ghosts are transparent; their motives are clear

more: [Read more…]

A Case Of Catholic Privilege

With all of the bluster a bishop could wish up
The Catholic clergy are making some noise
We hear them defending their privilege with snivelage,
With moaning, and tears, and complete lack of poise
Their habit of unfettered spending was ending
(“Our money, our rules”, as the White House explained)
When strings are attached to a dollar, they holler—
They’d much rather work with their funds unconstrained

Though priests wish to ban birth-controlling, the polling
Says people in pews are a whole different sort;
The people are more contraceptive-receptive—
Most Catholics use them, by latest report;
The bishops’ control has been shrinking, I’m thinking,
They’re aching for relevance now, you’re aware;
But sadly, their days in the clover are over…
I’m trying real hard, but I’m failing to care.

Bit of a rant, after the jump: [Read more…]

NH Voting Nears An End

New Hampshire’s high hopes for a finish diminish
As candidates stumble their way to the line
It isn’t exciting. It’s boring; I’m snoring
While watching the ads on the local News Nine.
When crowds get Ron Paul or Santorum to bore ‘em,
Or Romney or Huntsman or Perry or Newt,
They can’t escape thinking that choosing is losing:
“Oh, just what we needed—a guy in a suit.”

The sound bites we hear from this circus should irk us—
And insider politics makes me just scream
Just one wants to pull back the curtain for certain:
The alternate candidate, Vermin Supreme
The media stick with the boring, ignoring
The man with the big rubber boot on his head
When voters review this election’s selections
They’ll wish they had voted for Vermin instead

I have a dream. It’s an impossible dream, but those can be fun. My dream is that Vermin Supreme will gather more votes than Rick Perry.

Sadly, Supreme is running as a Democrat this year, so any votes he get will be compared to Obama’s, not Perry’s, sending the wrong message. So my dream requires a write-in campaign on the Republican side.

But wouldn’t it be worth it?

The U.S. War On Religion

While nobody wants us to see a sharia,
Respecting some other religion is fine
With proud church-and-state separation, this nation
Can make one exception—allowing for mine.
My faith is a factor in hiring and firing,
In filling prescriptions, in working with gays;
I’ll claim I’m the victim of warring, ignoring
The laws that the rest of the country obeys

The language that’s used in campaigning, explaining
How Christians are victims of hatred outright,
Is carefully tuned to the masses of asses
Who eagerly listen, convinced that it’s right.
The pandering pinheads are trying, by lying,
To gather their forces, to strengthen their core;
The truth is too boring, but fighting’s exciting—
To rally the troops, they’ve invented a war.

after the jump: [Read more…]

Turns Out, Rick Perry Loves Science After All

Governor Perry’s reliance on science
Seems counter-intuitive, don’t you agree?
He’s oftener known for denying, or lying,
To hold the positions his base wants to see
His stances on, say, evolution, pollution,
Or greenhouse effects of traditional fuels,
He quickly, as soon as he spies them, denies them,
So “science is wrong” appears one of his rules

But now he has “eggheads” controlling his polling
And visits to rallies that might make the news
His skeptical take on campaigning is gaining
Advantages over traditional views
With randomized campaign conditions, their mission’s
To optimize use of his money and time
It’s science that gives the most power per hour
It’s science that gives the most impact per dime.

From the New York Times’ “The Caucus” blog, a preview of an upcoming book: The Victory Lab. Turns out Rick Perry loves science–experimental social psychology, though, not evolutionary biology or climate science. The “soft” sciences are where he can see the power of the scientific method, and his opponents need to pay attention now.

The good news (from my perspective): Obama has been on board with scientific approaches to campaigning for some time now. His advisors include behavioral economists, including some big names from within experimental social psychology (Robert Cialdini’s book, “Influence“, is a classic in the psychology of attitude change and persuasion, for instance).

The bad news (again, my perspective): Perry’s team appears to be the only one actually applying experimental control to his on-the-ground campaign events. It is one thing to know that the literature predicts X, Y, and Z, and to make campaign recommendations based on that literature; it is quite another to test your own campaign (through random assignment and control of variables) to be certain that the literature (often experiments on undergrads) applies to your own populations (less likely to be undergrads).

So, yeah, Rick Perry loves science. He knows it works. He has seen its power, and has put it to his own uses. And he is applying it directly, not abstractly, which makes a very real difference–I can’t emphasize enough, general findings may not apply to any given subset of the population. It is important to test the actual operations on actual populations. Rick Perry (or his people) know this, and the rest of us ignore it at our peril.

Attack Of The Texans

“George Bush on steroids”? No, more insidious than that.

They breed them and train them in Texas, to vex us,
Political candidates, year after year;
Because of their vast preparation, the nation
Is helpless to stop them, and trembles with fear.
Like mutant quadrennial locusts, they’re focused
On taking as much, and as fast, as they can
The seventeen species of schmoozing they’re using
Are only one part of their devious plan

The primary process should winnow the minnows
And leave us with only the biggest of fish
But somehow the Texans survive all their rivals
No matter how strongly against it we wish
If only some cowboy from Austin had lost in
A recent election, I’d feel more at ease—
But all bets are off, till we vote us a POTUS…
So I’m curled in the corner and whimpering “please….”