One side claimed, “Our planet is flat!”
The other, “It’s round!” There they sat.
No chance of agreement,
And compromise, see, meant
“It’s oval—let’s leave it at that.”
Headline: Obama and Leader Reach Debt Deal
The verdict was certainly binding
But the pathways to justice are winding
Though “an eye for an eye”
Was the law to apply
Now the victim has pardoned a blinding
Headline: Iranian sentenced to blinding for acid attack pardoned
Ameneh Bahrami, after years of fighting for “justice” (read: for her attacker to be blinded with acid, as he had done to her), has pardoned Majd Movahedi, her attacker, at the last minute. She is still, quite understandably, seeking compensation for medical fees.
The state television website reported: “With the request of Ameneh Bahrami, the acid attack victim, Majid (Movahedi) who was sentenced for ‘qisas’ was pardoned at the last minute.”
The Isna news agency quoted Tehran prosecutor Abbas Jafari Dolatabadi as saying: “Today in hospital the blinding of Majid Movahedi was to have been carried out in the presence of an eye specialist and judiciary representative, when Ameneh pardoned him.”
Isna quoted Ms Bahrami as saying: “I struggled for seven years with this verdict to prove to people that the person who hurls acid should be punished through ‘qisas’, but today I pardoned him because it was my right.
Seems the picture that’s drawn is too hazy
Or my brain has gone summertime lazy
We could blame his religion
Which tweaks things a smidgeon
But, really: just “partially crazy”?
Headline: Ex-FLDS member: Warren Jeffs “partially crazy”
In an “objection” lasting nearly an hour, Warren Jeffs, polygamist and alleged child molester, threatened his prosecutors with “sickness and death“. He wasn’t making a threat; he was simply delivering a message he got from God.
At the site of a horrible loss,
The Memorial now holds a cross?
The community center
Was told “do not enter”—
Guess we know which religion is boss.
The requirements just get insaner,
Like a good triple twisting half-gainer
If you do a good dive,
You will surely survive—
If you don’t, then you’re “pulling a Boehner”.
(I’m trying out–subject to my time and other people’s idiocy–a new occasional feature, kinda like Ed Brayton’s “dumbass quote” and “badass quote” of the day. You are encouraged to add your own limericks in the comments. The rules are–look at the headlines of whatever news source you like, and write a limerick inspired by same. If your headline is local, small-town news, you might want to include a link, too.)