As a public service for those who read the posts, but don’t look at comments, I want to show off some of the songwriting abilities of commenters “badgersdaughter” and “zekehoskin”. I had invited readers to contribute their own verses to “What did you do in the war (against Christmas)?“…
From badgersdaughter:
I sent my love to the War Against Christmas,
I sent my love to the War!
It’s been cold, it’s been hard;
He maxed out our last card–
And we’ve never been maxed out before!
‘Next the half-set-up tree
I weep one bitter plea:
Will he come home to help with decor?
I sent my love to the War Against Christmas,
When will he return from the War?
and
Mother, I’m off to the War Against Christmas–
Mother, I’m off to the War!
Oh Mother, don’t cry–
With the angels I fly;
“God and country”, my duty I swore:
But I’m weary and sick,
For old General Nick
Left a coal in our esprit-de-corps.
Mother, I’m off to the War Against Christmas,
Mother, I’m off to the War!
And from zekehoskin:
Are you still fighting the War Against Christmas?
Are you still fighting the War?
Are you sticking your neck
Out for President Beck
And the faith that – by law – we adore?
The Earth is still young,
All the atheists hung*
And history’s really a bore –
Are you still fighting the War Against Christmas?
Are you still fighting the War?* All right, hanged. I’m boasting.
See what wonderful stuff you miss when you don’t read the comments?
*megablush*
Dang. First time I read the original, it naturally developed a tune and quickly became an earworm. Now it’s back!
I’ve had that earworm since before writing the post!
Glitter glued with blood
I fight the war on Christmas!
How we rejoice
“Are you still fighting the war against Christmas?
Are you still fighting the war?
Do you buy your kids
All the expensive gifts
And go out dressed up like a whore?
Do you claim aloud
That the World’s better now
Than it’s ever been before?
Are you still fighting the war against Christmas?
Are you still fighting the war?”
Ooh, I thought of another one:
“Are you still fighting the war against Christmas?
Are you still fighting the war?
Do you deck the halls,
Go to parties and balls
Where you get drunk and act like a bore?
Do you settle down
With the kids all around
To open presents early in the morn’?
Are you still fighting the war against Christmas?
Are you still fighting the war?”
I got these medals in the War Against Christmas
I got them all in that war
There’s the candy cane shield
’cause I never did yield
To the Christians attacking in hordes
My A-plus is red
And I’m live ‘stead of dead
While they’ve all gone off to their Lord
I got my medals in the War Against Christmas
I got them all in that war
What did you do in the War Against Christmas
When you shopped at that big boxy store?
Did you sneer at the clerk,
The dim-witted jerk,
Who said, “Happy Holidays?”
“Our Savior’s the reason
To celebrate the season
It’s to Him you should give your praise!”
Is that what you said in the War Against Christmas
When you shopped at the big boxy store?