They say a place in Hell a-
Waits the psychopathic fella
Who designed the vuvuzela
And unleashed it on the game

For the players, many find it
Too distracting (some don’t mind it).
And the demon that designed it?
Neil Van Schalkwyk is his name.

By the thousands, fans would buy it,
Not intending to keep quiet
And the auditory riot
Was a feature of the stands

While the fans all cheered and rooted
Others thought the horns unsuited
And a new design, more muted
Was the least of their demands

But I’m really not condoning
All the moaning and the groaning
That accompanies the droning
In the media reports

They may think their writing’s vicious
But it’s mostly repetitious
And the fans are not malicious,
They’re just fans, and this is sports

As the contest pits the nations
Bringing tears and celebrations
Then one’s hopes and expectations
Will determine what one hears–

If a fan’s enthusiastic,
Then this simple tube of plastic
Has a sound that’s just fantastic
And it’s music to his ears!