How about some John Stuart Mill.
[excitedly] Yes, please! What shall we have?
All causes, social and natural, combine to make it unlikely that women should be collectively rebellious to the power of men. They are so far in a position different from all other subject classes, that their masters require something more from them than actual service. Men do not want solely the obedience of women, they want their sentiments. All men, except the most brutish, desire to have, in the woman most nearly connected with them, not a forced slave but a willing one, not a slave merely, but a favourite. They have therefore put everything in practice to enslave their minds.
The masters of all other slaves rely, for maintaining obedience, on fear; either fear of themselves, or religious fears. The masters of women wanted more than simple obedience, and they turned the whole force of education to effect their purpose. All women are brought up from the very earliest years in the belief that their ideal of character is the very opposite to that of men; not self will, and government by self-control, but submission, and yielding to the control of other. All the moralities tell them that it is the duty of women, and all the current sentimentalities that it is their nature, to live for others; to make complete abnegation of themselves, and to have no life but in their affections. And by their affections are meant the only ones they are allowed to have — those to the men with whom they are connected, or to the children who constitute an additional and indefeasible tie between them and a man. When we put together three things — first, the natural attraction between opposite sexes; secondly, the wife’s entire dependence on the husband, every privilege or pleasure she has being either his gift, or depending entirely on his will; and lastly, that the principal object of human pursuit, consideration, and all objects of social ambition, can in general be sought or obtained by her only through him, it would be a miracle if the object of being attractive to men had not become the polar star of feminine education and formation of character. And, this great means of influence over the minds of women having been acquired, an instinct of selfishness made men avail themselves of it to the utmost as a means of holding women in subjection, by representing to them meekness, submissiveness, and resignation of all individual will into the hands of a man, as an essential part of sexual attractiveness.
He wrote that awhile ago. Some things have changed…but not as many as we might like.
Outside Quiverfull and other fundamentalist movements we don’t exactly represent meekness as an essential part of sexual attractiveness for women any more, not in the sense of saying “you’d be more attractive if you were meeker”…but by god we certainly do let women know that we’ll punish and degrade the bejeezis out of them if they’re “too” – blunt, mouthy, outspoken, critical, challenging, argumentative, opinionated, independent, ambitious, clever, tough, competent, knowledgeable…
You get the idea.
Blanche Quizno says
“uppity”
Nobody can stand an uppity woman!
Charles Sullivan says
I’m always impressed by J. S. Mill.
Ophelia Benson says
Yeah, uppity, but I was going for words that would be part of Mill’s toolkit.
iknklast says
You forgot intelligent. I know you said knowledgeable, but that’s sort of different. My mother was intelligent but not knowledgeable. My brother is knowledgeable, but not intelligent.
Ophelia Benson says
I didn’t forget it; I said “clever” instead. I chose that because it’s a bit more obvious, and obvious qualities are the issue. Women aren’t punished for being intelligent if they hide it thoroughly enough.
Saad says
My goodness, this is so spot on:
Thanks for sharing. I wasn’t aware of that essay.
I’ve read little from Mill, but I was always awestruck by his insight and writing.