Time for a match game! Our celebrity atheists are:
A. Greta Christina
B. Richard Dawkins
C. JT Eberhard
D. Jen McCreight
The quotes overheard at the American Humanist Conference and presented hilariously out of context:
1. “I feel like a prostitute!”
2. “Now, back to buttfucking!”
3. “Eat a bag of dicks!”
4. “Eat shit and die!”
Feel free to guess and discuss your reasoning in the comments. If you overheard one of the quotes, please don’t spoil it for others.
…And yes, atheists are a classy bunch. Don’t you wish you came now?
A2B4c3D1
Did Dawkypoo read his hatemail again? That’d sorta fit the bag of dicks.A 2B 1C 4D 3
As a total guess? A1, B4, C3, and D2.
I’m thinking Dawkins is #1, because I feel like the other 3 are not things a 70 year old British man is likely to say, though 4 wold be my second guess. As for the others, no idea.
Hmm, A or D for number 2, the rest I’m less certain about.Did anyone follow 1 with “I’ll have the same”?
Not sure about the others, but almost definitely B4, quoting some of his hatemail again.
Alright I’m up for a challenge B1 – Talking about book-signing schedules and ‘indenturetude’ to his publisher (I hear she has a whip and chains too) A3 – What Greta would do if God came to her in the middle of the day on a crowed street to say that all women should obey men/ alternatively what she would have to do if she lost a readership bet with the ladies of feministe, although for the second one they would probably be unattached and perhaps chocolate. C4 – Everyone says it at lest once in their life, although in this particular situation he was talking about a discussion involving Brother Jed and a dog. D2 – Jen, what happens in Vegas is supposed to stay in vegas. And this is what happens when you have to live vicariously through blogs instead of being able to go to one of these conferences. Hope you had fun. Maybe later you could add context.
A2B1C4D3
A2: The only hard thing to believe about this is that something distracted her from the buttfucking.B1: Same reasoning as BunnyMamaC3: This is a tough call.D4: Mostly guessing. Personally, I’d rather eat the dicks and live.
Ooh, I am up for this. Dawkins has to be 1 or 4 (3 is very netspeak, which he doesn’t do, and 2 is just too crass), but I think JT has to be 1, so that leaves Dawkins as 4. If my assumptions are right, what’s left is 50/50. Jen is VERY much a netizen, but it seems much easier to imagine “eat a bad of bleedy dicks” as Greta’s cheerful dismissiveness and “back to buttfucking” as Jen’s reveling in only partly tongue-in-cheek crassness, so I am going with:1 C2 D3 A4 BWhen are you going to announce a winner? BTW, does it bother anyone else that the model for the boobquake shirt in the store looks like Ann Coulter?
“Prostitute” sounds formal, so that’s Dawkins. (although Greta Christina writes about sex work, I doubt she’s joke about it that way.) Greta Christina is a grey-haired lesbian writer, which means she’s got tons of writing experience and more than one good reason to be irritated, and based on the glasses alone “Eat a bag of dicks!” seems like a good fit. JT Eberhard is male. Buttfucking is probably on the menu one way or another, or both ways. “Now, back to buttfucking!” sounds about right for a guy at a conference. “Eat shit and die!” is sort of safe, so it is safe for Jen McCreight to say, and safe for me to attribute to her. :)
Isn’t that the strangest part of this contest, that “eat shit and die” is the mundane, boring, and safe comment.
To me they are all relatively safe. I’m prone to say things like “suck a fat baby’s dick” to people in real life, and my favorite exclamation is “sweet crispy chocolate-covered caramel Christ on a stick!”. If someone had said something along the lines of “and then she got triple-penetrated by a German shepherd, a chair leg, and the reanimated zombie corpse of Patrick Swayze” then there might be a challenge, unless I show up.
Do not taunt Rule 34.
Naturally, Ms McCreight, as the self-admitted pervert, has to be the one with the non-sexual comment, therefore death and excrement for D. Not a whole solution, only a grain of truth, though.
Trick question. These are all 100% Jen.
I have no idea, but I’m sort of hoping they are all Richard Dawkins in his very proper British accent. lol.
A3B1C2D4
I was already jealous that I couldn’t come!! Now I am quadruply so. This is just more motivation for next time!
I fail to see the purpose of this post, Jen. What are you trying to say or prove here ?
I was having a hard time imagining Dawkins saying any of these… but then I remembered the South Park episode, so it’s got to be 2 for Dawkins. I’m guessing 3 and 4 have to be JT and Greta Christina, but I don’t know which said which. That leaves Jen McCreight with #1.So, A4, B2, C3, D1
A-1B-4C-2D-3
A-3B-4C-2D-1
Without reading anyone else’s guesses, here are my first guesses:1.B – Ironically “I feel like a prostitute” is the classiest of the four options, so I’m going to say Dawkins2.A – “Now, back to buttfucking” fits right in with the fact that Greta Christina writes about sex frequently3.D – “Eat a bag of dicks” sounds like another of Jen’s attempts to sarcastically agree with those who think she is a man hater in order to point out that she isn’t really4.C – “Eat shit and die” is given to JT Eberhard because, frankly, all the other choices were taken.I’ll be excited to find out how I did.
D, D, D, D, right?
That Atheists can have fun too.
We are assuming that each person made one of the comments and there aren’t any who made more than one, right?
Oh, but I did :POkay, I’m sorry. That was crass and uncalled for and things. But I’m a bad person or something like that.
1. As someone pointed out, sounds like something Dawkins might say, probably talking about book signings, public speaking, or some other non-literary task that he is being financially or otherwise materially rewarded for. Either that, or (not very probable, but I’ve not studied his after conference preferences, so I can’t rule it out…) he was using the expression to describe how he wished to spend his evening, as in: JTE: “I feel like going to a dance club. Want to come along?” RD: “Naah. I feel like a prostitute. Or maybe just some good porn.”Actually, if it was used in that context, Dawkins & Eberhard are equally likely to have said it. 2. Buttfucking is a stereotypical male homosexual activity, which leads me to believe that it was probably JTE that said this, because Dawkins is probably ruled out by having made the first comment. In either case, it was probably a sarcastic remark about the image that many god worshipers seem to have about atheists. More likely for JTE though, as he seems to be more vocal about gay rights than Dawkins, which reinforces the theory that the first quote was Dawkins.3. “Eat a bag of dicks” sounds very much like a typically jocular Jenism.4. Again, by process of elimination, this would have to be Greta.
Whoever said “Eat a bag of dicks” is clearly a Louis CK fan, and I need to know this person.
As likely as that is, every person listed has exactly one quote.Also, no one has gotten it right yet, though some people have correctly described the context behind certain quotes.
A.4B.1C.2D.3
There is 1/24 chance to get this right by pure guess. If I count correctly, there were 13 posts before Jen said no one got it right yet. So for careful readers the chances to guess have increased to 1/11. :)What is the succesfull guesser going to win?
Ok, I scrolled past the comments so as not to taint my answer.Quote1: JT feels like a prostitute.2. Greta wished for a return to a auxiliary introduction.3. Jen offered some phallic nutritional advice.4. Richard offerd a final meal recommendation.
A3B4C2D1EDIT: Okay, I scrolled past the previous comments to not second-guess my choice, but now I read that it was wrong. Oh well. When are you going to publish the right combination, Jen?
Because I’m a nerd this way; I actually made a table of all possibilities and got 24 possible answers like you. However, there were only 10 unique combinations ;) (i think hahahaha).
“taint”I see what you did there.
I’m inclined to thinkA4B1C3D2The only statements I can see Dawkins saying (as a result of his normal speech and reading of hatemail) are 1 and 4. From reading Jen’s blog for a year, I would only feel comfortable attributing 1 or 2 to her. Given the options already proven wrong (if I’ve gone through them properly) the above is the only answer left (assuming my assumptions hold obviously).
I’m obviously not allowed to play, since I know the answer. I just want to say how entertained I am by how many people are concluding that, of course, mine simply had to be #2.
A3B1C4D2When do we find out the answers?
A2B1C3D4I have no reasons for selecting these answers other than the fact that it amuses me hearing Richard Dawkins’s voice in my head saying “I feel like a prostitute.”
I love how guesses on me are all over the place.I know you won’t be at AA, but I totally plan to pick up this game in your stead there. :) You will be missed!JT
Ahem, Greta Christina is bisexual!
How Do you figure only 10 unique combinations? Probability – 4! = 24By Hand – 24 (just to confirm)Just to expand – 13 unique combinations have been selected, of which we know 10 are wrong (including mine) That leaves 11 combinations. Oh and no one has guessed that Dawkins offered the phallic diet.
I’d be totally gay for reänimated Swayze.Just saying …
A2, B3, C4, D1