Is that a banana in your pocket, or have you also been designed especially for me?
You must be God, because I want you to fill my gaps.
My eyes are too complex to have evolved, but they still naturally selected you.
…That’s all I got. Feel free to be wittier than me in the comments.
I can’t understand how someone so beautiful could have possibly evolved. Therefore, sleep with me.
I can think of something else that’s been perfectly designed to fit in the human mouth.
“Theistic evolution clearly shows that I was guided to you!””Just because God put us above the animals doesn’t mean we can’t get wild.””Oh, wow. I’d love to Wedge your Strategy.””You know your clothes get left behind when the end comes? The Rapture can’t happen soon enough…””God is great. Wanna fuck?”
What happened before the Big Bang? I used this ridiculous pick up line on you.
Ahahaha, I love this one
What’s the punchline? O.o
All I’m getting is something about a burning bush, which is the opposite of the direction a pick up line should go?
That one’s great!Hmm, I’m not very good at coming up with these sort of things myself. I think there’s some potential in writing one involving Dawkins’ “stork theory” analogy (“Intelligent design and the stork theory of reproduction are both valid, so it doesn’t matter that I don’t have a condom”), but I can’t quite make it work…Of course, lately I’ve been thinking about engineering pickup lines instead. Ask me about my pMOS size.
The second law of thermodynamics is not going to make me look any prettier.
You can either wait forever for random chance, or you can let me be your prime mover.
And we can go the O’Reilly route.Penis goes in, baby comes out. You can’t explain that.
Ahahahahahaaaaaa
God has presented me to take you home, but you insist on waiting for a vibrator to evolve out of a jar of peanut butter. Oh, that’s right. I have to add electricity and remove the oxygen to get these “complex amino acids.”
I proclaim you the winner.
and hand
Alcohol comes in, judgment goes out the window. You can’t explain that — so beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy together in bed!
You know, something’s missing. …you and I aren’t “linked.”
“I’m the Devil: I gotta bone I want to hide in your sedimentary layers to trick you into believing evilution.”
Imagine the greatest possible sex in the world. Now, if it did not exist, then it would not be the greatest possible sex – therefore it must exist in reality, because to exist in reality is greater than to exist solely in the imagination.
Quick! Let’s have sex while you can still shout “Oh, God! Oh, God!”http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/scie…
oh lawd the cheesiness….
Wow. You should drop the ‘humor’ tag off this one.
“If you calculate the probability of our meeting here and now, you’ll agree that it could only have occurred by divine intervention.”
“Is this bar still in a prelapsarian state? Because I think I’m falling for you.”
“Ever read Ezekiel 23:20? Yeah, I’m one of those guys.”
“Your junk’s different from mine, right? Okay, then, we’re good to go.”
“Let me show you the special way Jesus loves you.”
Obviously, he’s not Mr. Right. I mean look at all his flaws. Therefore, the only logical conclusion is you and me in bed.(This is the anti-pick-up-line after a drunken night out.)Magnets…north and south…you can’t explain that. You and me in bed…you can’t explain that.
“Prepare for the Rapture.”
Hahaha!
> “Prepare for the Rapture.”Hmm. I realise that’s more Creationist than Apologist. Alternative:”I think you and I should explore the concept of Rapture”.
Of all the molecules in all the solar systems in all the galaxies, you did just have to be here.
Lets get naked and we can shout our creator’s name together!
Baby, they call me the big bang…
By the Strong Anthropic Principle, the fact that you and I are here means that the universe itself was designed so that we could eventually hook up.
Forget Jesus, with me there’ll definitely be a Second Coming…
After further thought…I got all sorts of rhythms to suit your methodists.I once punched Dawkins in the mouth. Want to taste rapture? (Yes. I call it rapture. No. Not because it’s badly maintained, leaky and a libertarian’s wet dream)Want to come back to my place and read the Song of Solomon?Let’s do it like they do in the Discovery Institute.
I picture that’s what priests say to their alter boys. Yeesh.
What is the worst thing about being an atheist?You have no one to talk to during orgasm.
The Ken Ham version is, do you want to ride my velociraptor?
How about we make our magisteria overlap a bit?
“I could never be an atheist, because you must be an angel.”(That’s pretty close to a real pickup line, actually.)
“Let me show you the missing link.””See how it was designed to fit perfectly in your hand?””And its just the right shape and size.” (Sorry if I’m inaccurate, trying to quote Ray Comfort from memory).
I can read you like the bible, but I only read in bed.
“The complexity of this watch clearly implies a watchmaker… and it’s telling me it’s time to take you to bed.”(Jointly created by me and Nurse Ingrid.)
Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you have another source of potassium-40 in your pants?It’s not really an apologetic’s pick-up line, but it’s one I would like to use some day.
“You and I, we’re irreducibly complex together.”
“You can’t *prove* you don’t want me.”
ROFL! This is perfect! I would love to be able to use it!
I Liked it for the DI one. That is full of win.
She said: “With lines like these I hope your not an atheist, because your going to need a fucking miracle.”
Why? Because these aren’t your taste or because you are offended? Either way, let us have our fun!
It seems to me that the essential quality of an apologetics pick up line is it’s creepiness.
Let’s go to my place and read the Songs of Solomon.
How about the simple:Honey, I’m gonna make you believe in God!
Even better:Honey, I’m going to make you believe I’m god!
Only Viagra can truly raise the dead…
I thought her lines were hilarious!
Haha! Love it!
EPIC!
It was serendipity, the Blood Hound gang were playing in the background. (Not to mention I am in India. Discovery Channel here has sold out and shown one of those ghost shows.)
“I prayed long and hard for God to tell me what to say to you, and he told me to ask you to make me long and hard.””It’s my mission to get you into position.””I took one look at you and knew that God loved me.””Want to pray to St. Kegel with me?””Don’t let my ugliness bother you – that’s just Satan using false evidence to hide the truth of how much you want to sleep with me. You know, like fossils.””I’m really in the mood for some kind of unitive, procreative act tonight. You with me?””You are so finely-tuned to be attractive to me that it must be God’s plan for you to come home with me tonight.””Just to prove how eager you are to go back to my place, I’m not going to give you any evidence or reason…cuz that’s how me and the Lord roll.”That’s a nice ‘WWJD’ bracelet you have there. Have you seen mine?” [Hold up wrist with bracelet engraved with “Me”.]
The Discovery channel has sold out everywhere, it’s all ghosts, aliens and bigfoot with a sprinkle of “history” from the buybull.
I’m sure that Ray Comfort would agree that just as God designed the banana to fit the human hand, he also created the human penis with a convenient rim to prevent ones hand from sliding off.
Collecting some of the posts and adding a few of my own:Just because God put us above the animals doesn’t mean we can’t get wild.Is that a banana in your pocket, or were you designed especially for me?You must be God. I want you to fill my gap.Your mouth was intelligently designed – for my cock.Let me show you the special way Jesus loves you.I’m not trying to do anything that Jesus wouldn’t want to do, so take off your clothes.Forget Jesus. With me there’ll definitely be a Second Coming.See this little ridge on my cock? God intelligently designed it to prevent it from slipping out.Babies come from storks. I’m not a stork, so take off your clothes.Cock enters, baby exits. There is no natural explanation so it must be intelligent design.Alcohol enters, followed by penis. There is no natural explanation of this, so it must be intelligent design.God loves you. Let’s fuck.
History Channel lite… Mainly because there is no Nostradamus and Hitler involved. I remember when the Discovery channel was seriously mind expanding science documentaries. It carries the Mythbusters (I hold their premise in very high esteem) and such garbage. I have a plan. It is to dress up as a Scooby Doo villain (Ghost Pirate) and follow around a crew from one of those ghost shows and completely ruin a filming. I would appreciate it if people participated by dressing up as the scooby gang.
To quote from the magnificent New York Dolls… “You’re designed so intelligent, ain’t no way that was an accident!”
I love Jesus but I still make even him wear a condom.